


The Vampire Dean Chronicles

by angel_ponders



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Blood Drinking, Blood Kink, Bloodplay, M/M, Pain, Vampires, Wing Kink
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-08-08
Updated: 2013-08-08
Packaged: 2017-12-22 21:09:41
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 26
Words: 63,007
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/918044
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/angel_ponders/pseuds/angel_ponders
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Dean kills before he has a chance to turn back into a human.  He finds himself stuck as a vampire and desperate to find a way out of his terrible situation.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This is a fic I wrote a couple years ago. I received 3 requests in 6 months to import it to AO3 so that is what I am doing. This was inspired after reading HigherMagic’s [Satisfy Me](http://highermagic.livejournal.com/60762.html?thread=1379162#t1379162).
> 
> IMPORTANT NOTE PLEASE READ: My life took an abrupt turn while I was writing the last few chapters. A relationship ended and I was scrambling for a place to live so they are a little bit rocky. Despite this, people still somehow enjoyed the fic, so who am I to deny reposting? I apologize in advance for the rockiness of the last few chapters, but here you go.

Dean gripped the steering wheel tightly with one had as he frantically mashed the buttons on his phone with the other. He flipped through his contact list hoping that he had Lenore’s number, but he really couldn’t remember if she ever gave it to them. Dean doubted a vampire would willingly give her contact information over to a hunter and even if she had, she’d probably changed it soon afterward. Lenore wasn’t stupid.

Before he could scroll down to the L’s his phone started to ring. “Dammit!” It was Castiel. What absolutely horrible timing. He tried to answer in the most casual tone possible. “Hello?”

“Where are you?”

“I’m… busy at the moment.”

“Dean, I don’t have time for this. Where are you?” There was definite urgency in his voice, but Dean really didn’t want to deal with him at the moment.

“I have a situation here, Cas. I really can’t do this right now.”

“I have a situation as well, Dean. Just tell me where you are.”

Dean sighed. What the hell? Might as well get this over with. “Just outside of Limestone, Illinois. West, I think. Parked on the highway a few miles outside of town.” He rested his forehead against the steering wheel and waited for the inevitable smiting.

When he heard the displacement of air that preceded the arrival of an angel he flipped his phone shut and closed his eyes. At that moment he learned that angels did, in fact, have heartbeats, but they smelled nothing like humans. Castiel smelled like nothing he’d ever experienced before. Dammit, he really hated these new senses. Dean gripped the wheel even tighter and waited for the inevitable.

Instead of death, Dean was greeted with an uncomfortably long silence. He didn’t have to see the angel to know he was staring at him, examining the situation and preparing for his next move. Then he spoke in a tone so calm Dean almost thought he had to be dreaming. “You’re a vampire.”

“Yeah. You going to kill me or what?” He lifted his head off the steering wheel and met the angel’s eyes. Instead of being filled with righteous fury, the angel looked almost sad. And more startling was that Castiel appeared to be glowing. When Dean’s eyes drifted back the glow seemed to extend beyond Cas’ vessel, but before he could really start to understand what he was seeing Castiel spoke.

“No. I will not kill you, Dean.”

His eyes snapped back to Castiel’s. “What? Why not?”

“I’ve made exceptions before, Dean.”

“Yeah, well, you should kill me. If you would have killed Ruby back in that barn we probably could have avoided that whole apocalypse thing.” He wasn’t sure if that was exactly true, but he really fucking hated Ruby and would have loved to see her die back then.

Castiel seemed unaffected by the remark and continued to stare at Dean with a mix of pity and sadness. “Do you want me to kill you?”

It only took a moment for Dean to think about that. He was ready a few minutes ago to die, so why not now? “Kind of, yeah. I mean, I can’t live like this!”

“You technically aren’t alive.”

“Yeah, whatever, I can’t exist like this. I’m a monster. I…” Dean paused and choked on his own words. He really didn’t want to admit this out loud, but he had to. “I killed a man back there, Cas. I should have taken care of myself as soon as I knew what was happening. I just thought maybe I could control this. But I can’t.”

“You are repentant.”

“What?”

“I can see how regretful you are over the death of that man, Dean. I-“

“I’m not looking for your forgiveness, Cas. If that’s where you’re going with this. I can’t promise I won’t do it again.”

Cas just sat there for a moment examining all of the subtle changes in the hunter. There was no heartbeat, no warmth in the skin. He was still breathing heavily, but he had no actual need for oxygen. Castiel understood that, though. He often found himself breathing even though he didn’t have the need to do so. It just seemed like a natural reaction associated with the human body, regardless of its level of humanity. “As far as I’m concerned, you are still my friend. You are still on the side of righteousness. I will not kill you unless it is absolutely necessary.”

Dean wasn’t happy with the answer, but he could tell the angel wasn’t going to budge. He was an even more stubborn bastard than Dean was himself and if it came down to a battle of will, the hunter knew he’d lose. He didn’t want to let this topic go, but he really had nothing else to say. “What the fuck do you want with me anyway?”

“I’m afraid I can no longer use your assistance. I required human blood for a ritual.”

At the word ‘blood’ Dean’s body tensed and his gums begin to tingle with the urge to release his second set of teeth. His thoughts drifted back to his first kill and he could feel the need for more. As soon as the man’s heartbeat began to slow he stopped feeding even though his body clearly needed more. He was far from satisfied, but he had gained enough control over himself to recognize what he was doing and fight back against it.

When he thought about the fact that he couldn’t help Castiel because he wasn’t human he wanted to curl up into a ball and die… again.

“Dean.”

The hunter snapped out of his train of thought at the angel’s voice. “What?”

“I need to return to my mission, but I will be in touch with you. Soon.”

“Fine. Ok. But I still don’t think you should just let me go.”

“I’m not ‘just letting you go.’ I will return to discuss this with you further. I merely have other priorities at the moment.”  
-

Dean found a shack isolated from the main highway and chose this as his refuge from the daylight. He was thankful to be away from people as the near constant drumming of heartbeats back in town was driving him insane. He sat on the floor in the silence and waited out the day, knowing that even though the sunlight couldn’t kill him, it’d hurt like a bitch.

When the phone started to ring he thought it had to be Castiel. When he saw Bobby’s name flash across the screen he groaned. This was not going to be pleasant. But he answered in the most pleasant and chipper voice he could manage. “Hello Bobby, how are you doing this fine day?”

“You’ve got yourself in a heap of trouble here, kid.”

“Oh believe me, I know that.”

“What are you going to do about this?”

“I don’t know, Bobby. I tried getting smote by an angel and that shit didn’t work.”

“Castiel knows about this?”

“Yeah. And the idiot wouldn’t kill me.”

“Other hunters might not be so merciful. The Campbells are ready to kill you on sight.”

“And you?”

“Well,” Bobby sighed. “I’ve never been the ‘shoot first, ask later’ type. Don’t see why I need to be now.”

Dean phone started to beep and he glanced at the screen. Castiel. “Bobby, I hate to do this, but Cas is calling.”

“Yeah, I get it. I just hope he doesn’t change his mind about smiting you.”

“Thanks Bobby. Honestly I hope he does.” Before Bobby could respond Dean flipped over to Cas’ call. “I’m just west of a town called Reddick. This shack thing about half a mile from the road.”

“I’ll be right there.”

Dean hung up and waited. About a minute later he heard Castiel’s heart beat directly in front of him. He didn’t really want to look up and see Cas in all his angelic glory again. He felt completely unworthy of laying his eyes on him. But when Castiel knelt down before him he carefully raised his eyes to greet him. Sure enough, he was still glowing and absolutely amazing.

“How are you feeling, Dean?”

Dean had to snort slightly at that. It wasn’t the opening question he was expecting. “Horrible.”

“You’re hungry.”

“Yeah, and it’s awful.”

“It doesn’t have to be human blood to satisfy your craving.”

“Yeah, I know, and I’ve heard animal blood is pretty gross.”

“It could be my blood.”

“Cas!” Dean couldn’t believe his ears. “That’s just not happening.”

“Why not?”

“You’re an angel Cas.”

“Which means I have the ability to heal myself.”

“That’s not what bothers me. You’re holy. You’re frickin’ glowing, ok? I’m a monster. I shouldn’t even be allowed to be near you.”

“You are the one setting these limits, Dean.”

Dean just stared at Castiel he really didn’t even want to consider the option the angel was proposing. But he was hungry. And he couldn’t kill Cas. Dean couldn’t believe he was even considering it. He was disgusted with himself at just the thought.

Castiel readjusted so that he was crouching next to Dean and he rolled up his sleeve. Dean shut his eyes and wished he could wake up from this terrible nightmare. “Dean, open your eyes.”

Dean obeyed and was confronted with a bare wrist directly in front of him. He could see the blood coursing through the veins and his hearing began to instinctually hone in on the heartbeat until he could hear nothing else. He felt his gums begin to tingle again and he couldn’t contain his teeth any longer. They unsheathed as he tried to squirm away.

“Dean,” the angel coaxed. The vampire looked up and met Castiel’s eyes. “You need to do this.”

And Dean couldn’t stand it anymore. He lunged towards his exposed wrist and sank his teeth in. Castiel made a small startled noise, but for the most part held his ground. The first gush of blood into Dean’s mouth was unimaginably hot, salty, and glorious. It was even more satisfying than the blood from the man he drained back in Limestone. It was pure life. But it was more than life. It was Heaven. He felt like he was drinking Heaven straight from the angel’s veins and it satisfied every craving that came with his predicament.

A wave of guilt washed over him and wanted to pull away, but he felt Castiel’s other hand gently stroking his back so he clung on. His body surged with warmth and he almost felt human again for a moment. Except a human wouldn’t need to drain another to feel this warmth and he knew he’d never really feel alive for as long as he continued to exist. It would always be an imitation.

He didn’t know how long he’d been drinking, but when Castiel gripped his shoulder and began to pull him back he knew he had to stop. “Enough,” Castiel demanded. Dean released his wrist and retracted his teeth. Blood was dripping down his face and he was ashamed. No amount of angelic consent could make that feeling go away. “That should satisfy your needs for a while. Though I don’t know exactly how long it will last.”

Castiel began to roll his sleeve down and Dean noticed that not only was his wrist healed, but there was no trace of spilled blood anywhere on him. Dean reached up and was embarrassed to feel that he had blood all over his chin. He looked at his fingers and without thinking he licked the blood off of them. When he realized what he did felt another wave of revulsion surge through him and he felt sick.

“How can you stand this, Cas?”

“I’m not going to abandon you Dean. I only wish I had more time to help you. I can still hear your prayers, though I can’t promise I will be able to respond immediately.”

“Why are you going on such a limb for me? Again? Aren’t you sick of going against everything you stand for just to save me?” Dean wiped his chin with his sleeve and fought the urge to lick it clean.

“You obviously don’t comprehend what I stand for.”

“Then what do you stand for, huh?”

“The goodness of humanity.”

“I’m not human anymore, Cas.”

“But do you intend on still fighting on their behalf?”

Dean paused, realizing he hadn’t even asked himself that question. If wasn’t going to die, of course he’d continue being a hunter. He couldn’t imagine it any other way. Dean didn’t have to say anything to Castiel. The angel already knew what the answer was.

“Cas?”

“Yes, Dean?”

“Do I… do I still have a soul?”

“Vampires do not lose their souls. The fact that you are so affected by this proves that your soul is still intact.”

And that made him feel vaguely better about the situation. But this would still take time to get used to. He wished Cas could stay by his side longer, but the angel had a war to get back to. In a flutter of wings Castiel was gone and Dean was left alone in the cold shed to contemplate his condition.  


	2. Chapter 2

Dean was anxiously pacing back and forth in the motel room that was acting as his current sanctuary from the daylight. Cas’ blood had made being around people bearable enough for him to venture into the next town and get an actual room instead of a cold, dark shed, but he still couldn’t stand being outside in the sun. The second degree burns he got on his hands when he peeked out the curtain at sunrise had proven that. When he was sure that the sun had been up for a few hours he gave Bobby a call, hoping the hunter was awake and still willing to talk to him.

“Something’s wrong with Sam, Bobby,” Dean said frantically. He’d been thinking about the situation for hours by himself and knew he was in a terrible situation. “He’s not acting human. He let this happen. I saw him stand back and watch it happen to me.”

“Now hold on a second, slow down.

“I know what I saw, Bobby.” 

“We tested him. Salt, silver… everything.”

“He threw me to that vamp,” Dean said as he sat down on the edge of the bed and tried to get control of himself. If he was still human his heart would be racing. “I'm telling you, it's not my brother.”

“Well, then he's something we ain't ever seen before.”

“Yeah, or it's freakin' Lucifer.”

“Did you call Cas?”

Dean hesitated. “Not about this, yet. I… it’s complicating, ok? Seeing an angel while all vamped out is a mind trip. He freakin’ glows. Besides, the last time I saw him we were busy dealing with other problems I’m having. I just, I’m not ready to call in that favor.”

“He’s probably your best bet, kid. He’d be able to tell if it was Lucifer, right? And he didn’t when he saw him last week.” Silence stretched out over the line and Dean had to admit that Bobby was right. Sam probably wasn’t Lucifer, but something was wrong with him and he needed to know what that was. “I’ll help with what I can, but I rarely see Sam anymore. I can’t exactly drill him for information without him being suspicious. He doesn’t know I’m still talking to you.”

“No, I understand. You’re right,” Dean said as he exhaled a breath he’d inexplicably been holding. “Just… thanks. For everything. I don’t know what I’d do if you weren’t helping me out.”

“Try to stay safe, kid.”

“You too, Bobby.”

As soon as he hung up he prayed, knowing that Castiel really was his last chance. “Cas, I need your help if you can. It’s about Sam. Something is wrong with him and I don’t know what. I’m back in Reddick at the Red Light motel.”

He’d hoped Cas would have appeared by now, but the angel did warn him that he might not be able to respond immediately. He’d just have to find something to take up his time until Cas had a spare moment. What he’d fill the next twelve hours with was a mystery since daytime television was complete crap and the only reading material in the whole room was the Bible and the motel’s policy guide taped to the back of the door.

Dean hadn’t felt the urge to sleep at all since he was turned and he’d suddenly realized just how difficult it was to keep himself entertained 24/7. He was sure he’d seen other vampires sleep, but he just didn’t have the need yet. During the long agonizingly boring daylight hours Dean found himself watching horrible talk shows and throwing crumpled up pieces of paper into the waste basket. He felt completely useless being so idle. It was official; he really hated being a vampire.

When the sun set Dean ventured out into town to experience night without all those pesky blood lust urges. With a fresh boost of angel blood and a slow building acceptance of what he was he felt confident enough to interact with others. As far as he knew, vampires could still drink liquids other than blood so he headed to the nearest bar. 

When he pushed through the door he could immediately tell this was his kind of place. The air smelled strongly of alcohol, cigarettes, and dust while the juke box blasted classic rock. He wasn’t sure if this establishment was especially pungent or if his vampire senses were kicking in, but he wasn’t exactly overwhelmed by the experience so he continued on. The cacophony of sounds of the crowded establishment was jarring at first, but it was more familiar now than it was on his first night and he felt he could actually handle the experience.

Dean ordered two shots of whiskey and began to glance about the bar at his fellow patrons. The large hairy man next to him seemed to be particularly grimy and Dean half considered scooting a few stools down. Instead he examined him out of the corner of his eyes and realized he could see the blood pumping just underneath his skin. Thankfully he had absolutely no desire to feed off of him. The thought actually disgusted him. Instead it just was. He could see blood pumping through people’s skin now and that was as much of a fact as the sky being blue.

The pretty woman tending the bar was wearing some sort of flowery perfume and had recently used a fruity smelling shampoo. The last smell was familiar and he found his thoughts drifting back to Lisa. He realized that was going to be another situation he had to deal with soon. Dean couldn’t fathom managing a relationship like this. Her racing heart would drive him mad and he’d probably end up killing her on accident.

He slammed both shots back and immediately knew that it would take a lot more than that to get him buzzed. Castiel had to drink an entire liquor store to get drunk. Dean wondered how high of a tolerance vampires had. Only one way to find out. “Two more shots, miss.”

“Sure thing.”

Ten shots later he wasn’t feeling anything and the bar tender was staring at him skeptically. “I think I’m going to have to cut you off. That’s a lot of booze.”

“Do I look drunk? Am I acting drunk?”

“Well, no, but…”

“Two more shots please.”

Ten more shots later he felt sufficiently buzzed, but not quite drunk. Lesson learned. Next time he’d just take a bottle and be done with it. Ordering shots was a complete waste of time. The skill could come in handy if he wanted to shark people out of money. If he acted drunk enough he could fool people into betting big. Or maybe he could even challenge them to a drinking contest. Who knows? Both were reasonable possibilities. There could definitely be benefits to being a hunter and a vampire at the same time. But he wasn’t quite ready to test these skills out so he left a $100 bill on the bar and left. 

He’d taken a walk around town for several hours just to acclimate to his new senses. The first night he’d been too overwhelmed by the experience to even try to accept them. Then a killed a man and he pushed the trippy sensory overload aside to focused on the fact that he’d become the exact thing he hunted. Dean was too overwhelmed by emotion last night to bother focusing on them. 

Now he was satiated and accepting of the situation and he could actually try to cope with his new condition. One thing he quickly learned was that seeing at night was incredibly easy. It was like seeing through night vision goggles, but everything was tinted slightly blue. All he needed was a tiny bit of light from the stars and he could make out the finest details of the grass at his feet. He could imagine that this skill would be particularly useful to him in his line of work. 

As the night wore on his hearing began to pick up heartbeats again. His hearing had remained sensitive since the moment he was turned, but he’d managed to avoid focusing on the heartbeats since Castiel had fed him. When he could tell how many people were in a house just by walking by he knew he should cut the night short. Cas’ blood had sustained him for over a day, but he was starting to feel hunger creep up on him again.

Dean rushed back to the motel as quickly as he could and immediately flipped on the television hoping it’d distract him from the growing urges. When he sat on the bed he realized he could hear the heartbeats of the people next door. They were so loud he physically covered his ears to block it out. The intensity of his hunger was a shock to him since he’d just fed last night and he really only had one choice to sort this situation out.

Dean stumbled off the bed and landed with a thud on the floor. It was an accident that he was on his knees when he prayed to Castiel, but it somehow felt right anyway. “Cas, please. I’m… I’m hearing heartbeats so loudly and I need… I need…” He wanted to cry. He wasn’t sure how long he could keep doing this.

Castiel was standing before him a few seconds later and Dean reached out to grab onto his shoe with both hands. This inadvertently made him lower to the floor and made him feel like he was groveling. The vampire wasn’t entirely sure what he was doing anymore, since he was operating fully on instincts now. “Cas…”

“Dean, feed.”

Dean looked up and noticed that the angel was already rolling up his sleeve. And he was still glowing and beautiful and holy and everything that Dean wasn’t. He saw the weird glowing appendages sticking out of Cas’ back again and he knew those had to be his wings, but he was so hungry that his eyes immediately went to the wrist that was being presented to him. His hunger wouldn’t allow him to do anything else, but try to satisfy it.

He was on his feet a few seconds later and grabbing at the exposed wrist. Feeding was different this time. Easier. It wasn’t without guilt, but it was without hesitation. He knew he needed to either feed or be killed and this seemed like the better option. At least Cas was a willing participant and couldn’t be harmed by it. And it tasted glorious and wonderful and satisfying.

Castiel kept his hand on Dean’s neck as he fed, giving a reassuring stroke every now and then to urge him to continue. When Dean had enough Castiel gently squeezed his shoulder and pulled him back. “Enough, Dean,” he whispered. Dean complied and retracted his teeth immediately.

“I need to go now,” Castiel said.

“Wait,” Dean gasped as he wiped the blood from his mouth. “Cas, why are you doing this?”

“Doing what?”

“Helping me. Feeding me.”

“I told you already.”

“Yeah, but you’ve gotta be busy with that whole angel war thing.”

“You are worth the momentary interruption, Dean. From my understanding, you will not need to feed as much in the future. Your body is still adjusting.”

Thank God for that, he thought, because this was ridiculous. But he had another urgent thought on his mind. “What about the issue with Sam? Did you hear me pray about that?”

“Yes, but I didn't come about Sam because I have nothing to offer about Sam.”

Dean sighed and rubbed his forehead. Apparently vampires can get migraines. “Well, that's great, because for all we know, he's just gift wrap for Lucifer.”

“No, he's... he's not Lucifer.”

“And how do you know that?”

“If Lucifer escaped the cage, we'd feel it.”

“Then what’s wrong with him?”

“I don't know, Dean. I'm sorry.” When Dean looked like he was on the verge of breaking down Cas lifted up his chin so they could make eye contact. “I don’t know what’s wrong with him, but I do want to help. I’ll make inquiries.”

Dean didn’t really have words to express how he felt. He was grateful, but still disappointed that he didn’t have any answers yet. All he could do was nod and hope that it got his appreciation across. Then his eyes drifted back to the wings. Now that he was fed and in control of himself again he could actually pay attention to things other than the urge to drink from the angel’s veins. The wings weren’t exactly solid, but still visible to him and beautiful beyond description. If he looked close enough he could make out the individual shimmering feathers and the more he stared the more real they appeared to be.

When Dean’s eyes drifted back to Cas’ he knew that the angel was aware of what he was looking at. “They’re beautiful…” Dean looked like he wanted to cry again and Castiel ran his thumb across his cheek as though wiping away an invisible tear.

“I really must go now, but I will return to you when I can.”

Dean watched as his wings spread wide and for the first time he saw his feathers shift as they created the familiar fluttering sound. Castiel was gone a second later and Dean reached up to touch his cheek where Cas’ hand had just been. If he was going to be trapped in this condition he was grateful to have an angel on his side.


	3. Chapter 1

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dean collapses in his motel room and gets visions from the Alpha. Meanwhile, Castiel keeps his promise to Dean and investigates Sam’s strange behavior. Then Dean receives an unexpected phone call.

When Sam’s phone rang he was extremely surprised to see that it was Castiel calling. After so many unanswered prayers and that whole ‘profound bond’ crap he pretty much considered Cas ‘Dean’s angel.’ He honestly didn’t think he’d hear from him again since Dean was pretty much out of the picture at this point. Sam wasn’t sure Cas knew about Dean’s little vampire problem, but if he did he figured his brother was probably dead by now anyway. Sam answered with his location and hung up his phone the moment the angel materialized in the room.

Cas looked Sam directly in the eyes and scowled. ”What is wrong with you?”

“Um, excuse me?” Sam could tell he was angry at him and he knew that pissing off an angel was quite possibly the worst idea imaginable. Unfortunately Castiel took control of the conversation before he could even start to think of a way out of the situation

“Did you or did you not let your brother get turned into a vampire?”

“Well, he would have been able to turn back if he didn’t escape in the middle of the night and kill someone.”

“You did not answer the question, Sam.”

Telling the truth seemed like a good strategic choice, but the angel could strike him dead if he didn’t like what he said. It was a fine line that Sam was walking, but he had no other choice. “Yeah, I did. But like I said-“

“How could you?” Castiel walked up to the hunter, eyes flaring with Heavenly fury as Sam carefully considered his next move. Cas was surprised at Sam’s cold and calculating behavior and he knew something was extremely wrong. “Your brother is right. You are not yourself. But what are you?”

“I’m human, Cas. Which is more than I can say for Dean.”

“And that’s because of your actions!” He wasn’t entirely sure what the problem was, but now he had a couple of vague ideas. There were a dozen explanations for his behavior and Cas just had to narrow down that list. “Have you been feverish?”

“What? No, what are you-”

“Are you speaking in tongues?”

“No. Wait, Cas, are you… are you diagnosing me?”

“How much do you sleep?”

“I… I don’t.”

“Not at all?”

“No.”

“Interesting. Sam, what are you feeling right now?”

“Uh… I think-“

“Feel.”

“I don’t know. Ok? I don’t know.”

The angel was pretty sure Sam wouldn’t be cooperative for his next test, so he tapped two fingers to his forehead and forced him to sleep. He let his anger get the better of him for a moment and didn’t bother trying to cushion his fall when the hunter slammed into the floor. If Sam was going to put Dean in harm’s way the least he deserved was some bruising. Cas rolled up his sleeve and prepared to reach through to Sam’s soul for the final test in his diagnoses.  
-

Dean was sitting alone in his motel room counting down the minutes to sunrise when he started to get a strong sense of vertigo. As the unpleasant sensation increased he began to hear a voice whispering directly into his head. The sound was unnerving and completely uncompromising against his senses. He just couldn’t take it anymore. Dean lost consciousness and fell from his chair onto the scratchy motel room carpet.

Images flashed before his eyes so rapidly he almost couldn’t comprehend them. A bald man was sitting on a bench at night in what appeared to be a beautiful park. Then there was an old cemetery, but Dean didn’t have time to read any of the headstones or take in the surroundings before the images changed to something else. There were two girls, twins in lacey blue dresses that seemed so innocent at first, but absolutely terrifying when they unsheathed their second set of teeth. Vampires.

The man approached the girls and left traces of blood across their cheek before he pointed off into the distance. Then more images rushed into his skull at such an alarming rate he really didn’t pick up anything, but flashes of light and color. Dean was more confused than frightened and really just wanted to strangle whoever was sending him such a garbled message.

Eventually Dean gained enough control of himself to roll over onto his back. He managed to see past the visions for a moment and concentrate on the room around him, grateful that he could connect with reality amidst the psychic flood of crap that was being crammed into his head. Then the visions abruptly stopped and the voice in his head began to fade away. Unfortunately he was far too nauseous to stand up and he didn’t really want to find out if vampires puked blood, so he just remained on the floor waiting for the pain to subside.  
-

When Castiel returned to Dean’s motel room he immediately spotted him sprawled out on the floor. “Dean!”

Cas rushed to his side and helped him sit up. Dean put his fingers to his own temples and tried to rub away the remains of the psychic sledgehammer that had rammed into his skull just a few minutes prior. “Fuck, that was the most painful experience of my life… or death I guess… whatever if fucking hurt.”

“What happened?”

“I got visions. I’m not quite sure what happened. I think… I think it was the Alpha,” Dean rubbed his head some more. “His visions suck.”

“The Alpha,” Castiel repeated as he helped Dean to his feet. He was familiar with the hierarchy of monsters, but he had to think for a moment to match Dean’s terminology with what he’d been taught. “The first vampire reached out to you in a vision?”

“Yeah. But I don’t know what it meant so it’s kind of useless.”

“Why is he doing that?”

“How the fuck should I know?” Cas actually flinched at the angry tone in Dean’s voice. The hunter reeled in his anger before he opened his mouth again. “I just mean, I’ve been like this for two days. I didn’t even know he could do that. You would know more about it that I would. So why don’t you tell me? Why’d he do this?”

“I don’t know much, but I know enough to recognize how rare that is.”

“Why me? What the hell was he trying to tell me?”

“It could have been just to you. Or the message could have been sent to every vampire in existence or even a small subsection of you. I’m afraid there is no way for us to tell.”

Dean exhaled and folded his arms. It was just one problem after another and he just couldn’t catch a break. “Anyway, what are you here for?”

“I went to your brother.”

“Really? Figure anything out?”

“Sam’s soul is missing.”

“What do you mean? Where is it?”

“My guess is still in the cage with Michael and Lucifer.”

Dean’s eyes went wide and he shifted uncomfortably. “So, is he even still Sam?”

“You pose an interesting philosophical question…”

Dean wasn’t nearly as intrigued by the possibilities and he passed the angel to grab his duffle bag from the nightstand. “Well, then, just get it back.”

“Dean…”

“You pulled me out.” He knew it was no simple task, but Cas was the only creature he knew that was capable of it. Dean turned around to gather his belongings, not even thinking about the fact that he couldn’t go outside for many more hours, and came nose to nose with the angel.

“It took several angels to rescue you, and you weren't nearly as well guarded. Sam's soul is in Lucifer's cage. There's a difference, a big difference. It's not possible.”

“Okay, well, there's got to be a way. There’s got to be some spell that can-“

“No, Dean. If a spell could break someone from the cage, demons would have done it millennia ago. Lucifer would be free again by now.”

“Fuck, I can’t let this happen, Cas. I can’t let my brother walk around without a soul. He’s not human, Cas.” Dean stopped abruptly, realizing the weight of what he’d just said. “At least one of us should get to be human. And it’s too late for me. He’s still got a shot.”

“Dean,” Cas said as he inched closer and placed himself comfortably in Dean’s personal space. “I will help where I can, but-“

“I know, I know, angel war. I get it.” Castiel suddenly looked distracted. Dean wasn’t entirely sure what was happening, but he could tell it was important. “Cas?”

The angel was lost in whatever message he was receiving and Dean wondered if Cas’ psychic connection was any less painful that what vampires had to go through. He actually saw the wings ruffle as Cas’ facial expression got tense, obviously hearing something he wasn’t too pleased about, but he was otherwise perfectly content during the process.

Dean was actually surprised at how solid the wings were beginning to look. He wondered if it was because he was staring at them so much or if his vampire abilities were getting stronger. Either way, they were only vaguely transparent now. If it didn’t feel like a complete blasphemy he’d reach out and try to touch them. Instead he settled for looking at them.

Cas suddenly snapped his attention back to Dean. “I have to go.”

“Yeah, figured.”

“I’m sorry I couldn’t do more.” The angel disappeared and Dean mentally prepared himself for another day confined to his motel room. He hoped that the ability to walk in the sun was something else that’d improve with age, but he honestly wasn’t sure. There wasn’t much he could be sure about these days, actually.  
-

At some point during the morning Dean actually fell asleep to the monotonous drone of morning talk shows. It wasn’t until the middle of the afternoon that he was forced awake by the sound of his cell phone. It took a moment for him to realize the fact that vampires can apparently dream, then he clumsily reached over to grab his phone off the nightstand.

Lisa. Shit. He did not know how to deal with this. Dean flipped open the phone and nervously answered with an awkward “hey.”

“Hey, where are you guys?”

“Uh, I’m actually not with Sam right now.” Dean sat up on the bed and started to desperately put together a plan for making it through this conversation as painlessly as possible.

“Why? What happened?”

“Look, there’s a… situation…” He was tired of using that word, but it was the best word he could think of. “Um…”

“Dean what’s wrong?”

“I don’t think I’m going to be able to come around anymore.”

“What? Dean…”

“I don’t know how to explain this.”

“Try.”

There were a few moments of silence as Dean considered different ways to word this. He wasn’t even sure Lisa knew vampires existed. “You know vampires are real, right?”

“I wasn’t sure, but yeah, I figured. Why?”

“I kind of… am one now.” Dean cursed how awkward that sounded, but he hadn’t actually had to tell anyone yet. So far people had either already been told or had been able to tell just by looking at him. Lisa was the proud recipient of Dean’s first official ‘coming out’ as a vampire. She was not thrilled about this honor.

“What? Why… what does that mean?”

“It means it’s not safe for me to be near you. Or near Ben or Sam. Or anyone really. I can’t risk hurting you.”

“I… I understand that. But… are you dangerous now?”

Dean sighed. “Being around people is too hard. If I stay away I think I’ll be ok.”

“Dean,” she whispered. He could hear her beginning to cry on the other end of the line and he felt like he’d been stabbed in the heart.

“Lisa, I’m sorry. I can’t bring this shit around you guys anymore.”

“Well, what are you going to do?”

“Keep hunting.”

“Can you do that?”

“Yeah, I mean, why not?”

“You are one of the things you hunt, Dean.”

“Believe me, that is not lost on me.” Dean sighed again, unsure of what else to say. He’d gotten the main point out and he wasn’t sure anything that came from his mouth would be even remotely comforting to her. “I’m sorry this happened.”

“I just wish I could say good bye to you in person.”

“You probably don’t want to see me like this.”

“What, you afraid I’ll see your fangs or something?”

“Second set of teeth, actually,” he said. He heard her huff on the other line. “And no, I’m pretty sure I can keep them… in. I’m just not me anymore and it’s obvious. I don’t want you to have to see that.”

“Fine,” she said. He could tell by the waver in her voice that was reluctant to agree. “Fine, just stay away then.”

The conversation didn’t end in a way either of them wanted it to. But it ended in the way that it needed to. If he tried to carry on a relationship with Lisa he could accidently hurt her or, worse, kill her. The urge to go to her to say goodbye was strong, but he would rather her last memory of him is of him as a living breathing human. He didn’t want to inflict that kind of pain on anyone unless it was absolutely necessary.


	4. Chapter 4

After conferring with Bobby, Dean decided his best bet was to head to Sioux Falls to plan his next move. It was about a ten hour drive and if he hauled ass across Iowa he could make it there before sunrise. Bobby had already begun compiling a list of beings capable of pulling Sam’s soul out of the box and Dean wanted to help narrow it down in person. The list was small and absolutely none of the creatures on it had a reason to help them, but Dean and Bobby were determined to put a plan together.

When the familiar vertigo feeling first started to creep up on him he knew he wasn’t going to make it without a severe interuption. If he even tried to keep driving he’d end up crashing. He wasn’t concerned for his own well-being, really, but he did not want to hurt his car. Dean quickly pulled over on the isolated stretch of highway just outside of Des Moines as the whispers began to grow louder and louder. He tried to hang onto reality, but he couldn’t take the psychic flood of information and passed out against the steering wheel.

The bombardment of visions this time were just as rapid and disjointed as his first experience, but Dean found it slightly easier to follow this time. To his horror he saw Samuel and several other members of the Campbell family standing just beyond a set of metal bars. He saw a large metal room just beyond them that resembled the Campbell’s panic room. Then Dean saw a map interspersed with bits of scenery that could be any old Midwestern town for hundreds of miles in any direction. Once more Dean was pissed that the messages couldn’t be a little more precise because this meant absolutely nothing to him.

Then he saw the bald man again standing in that same old cemetery from before. The man was saying something that Dean couldn’t really understand. It slowly dawned on him that the Alpha was actually saying his name over and over again. The hunter fought against the visions hoping that he could cut them off prematurely because he really didn’t want any part of this. If the Alpha knew his name he knew he was in trouble.

The vision was suddenly washed out with a bright white light that was oddly familiar to him. The turbulent flow of information became vivid and clear as Dean became aware of Castiel’s presence inside his head. Dean felt slightly used having to share his mind with two other creatures, but at least the angel’s presence made the vision more tolerable. The old cemetery they were now standing in seemed almost real. _Thank God for Cas,_ Dean though. _Literally._

When Dean felt relatively corporeal he noticed that Cas had positioned himself between him and the Alpha. Cas’ wings appeared to be completely solid in this psychic landscape and they were spread wide in a protective gesture on either side of Dean. The feathers were inches from his skin and he was so tempted to touch them. Dean chastised himself at the thought, not feeling even remotely worthy of such an action. And besides, this was a dream and if he was ever lucky enough to feel those feathers he wanted it to be in reality. Nothing ever felt quite real in a dream, even if it got pretty damn close.

“What are you doing here,” Cas demanded from the Alpha. Dean maneuvered himself closer to Castiel’s back so that he could at least see over Cas’ shoulder. He still felt the Alpha’s presence strongly in his head, but Cas’ wings were blocking him from his ‘view.’ When he finally saw the monster he realized him and Cas were locked in the staring contest to end all staring contest. It was horrifying to think of two powerful creatures staring each other down in his head, but that was the unfortunate reality of the situation.

“I am talking to one of my children.”

“You are talking to _my charge_ ,” Cas corrected.

“I have just as much of a claim to him as you do.”

“You do not,” Cas said, wings flaring wide.

“Ok, ok, enough of this pissing contest,” Dean interjected. He felt completely flattered at Castiel’s behavior, but there were more important things to discuss at the moment. “How do you know the Campbell’s? Why was I seeing images of them?”

The Alpha let his eyes wonder over to Dean, who was still mostly protected behind Cas’ wings. “Because they are holding me captive and you can free me. You know their compound.”

“And you didn’t think that, I don’t know, saying that would be a bit easier than a bunch of visions being crammed into my head?”

The Alpha raised his eyebrow and smirked. “Not all creatures have as much control over psychic connections as angel’s do. If your friend here leaves your head it’ll get rather turbulent again.”

Dean cringed at the thought, but Cas paused and looked at him over his shoulder. “I’m not going anywhere, Dean.”

“I know,” he said, and he really meant that. He could feel the angel’s intentions radiate through him and he knew he was going to protect him with all he had. Cas’ control over the situation was absolute and he was sure Castiel could kick the Alpha out if he really wanted to. Thankfully he didn’t, because now Dean had some questions. Dean looked back towards the Alpha who was focused on Cas again. “The Campbells are holding you captive?”

“Yes, in the basement of a house not far from here.”

“Yeah, I know the place. What do they want with you?” Dean continued. The Alpha was almost too fascinated with Cas to look at Dean, but he eventually let his gaze wonder back to him.

“Interrogation. They have this ludicrous belief that I know the location of purgatory.”

“Purgatory? That’s real?”

Castiel glanced over his shoulder at Dean and nodded. “Yes, it is. Though why the Campbell’s want to know its location is baffling.” Cas looked back at the Alpha. “Why do they want to know this?”

“They don’t care. Samuel is just doing as he is told.”

“Who is giving the orders?” Cas demanded.

“Your guess is as good as mine.” The Alpha eagerly turned his attention back to Dean and grinned. “You do know what Purgatory is for, don’t you child?” Castiel possessively moved closer to Dean when the Alpha addressed him like that, but the vampire continued speaking uninterrupted. “It’s for us monsters. It’s where you’ll go when you die for the final time. It’s where I’ll go when my time comes.”

Castiel demanded the Alpha's attention again.  “You will not touch Dean’s mind ever again. I will be watching,” Castiel said. “Now go.”

The Alpha let the slightest bit of fear spread across his face before he contorted his expression into a scowl and vanished. Dean immediately felt a huge weight lifted from his mind and the only foreign presence left was Castiel’s comforting grace. Then he felt the first signs of consciousness begin to seep in and the world around him started to fade.

The first sensation Dean felt when he regained consciousness was a reassuring hand on the back of his neck. When he opened his eyes he saw Castiel sitting in the passenger seat looking at him with concern. “Are you feeling well?”

“Yeah, thanks,” Dean stammered as he sat up straight in his seat. He didn’t feel as nauseous as he did the first time he got visions and he assumed Castiel had to be responsible for that. He was still overwhelmed by all the information, though, and didn’t really know where to go from there. Dean decided to go with his gut and start with the topic that was bothering him the most. “What he said back there, about purgatory. Is that true?”

Cas let his hand fall to Dean’s shoulder, then let it slide down his arm to hold Dean’s hand. He squeezed it firmly and looked Dean directly in his eyes. “Yes, but I won’t let you stay there longer than necessary.”

Dean squeezed his hand, accepting it as the gesture of comfort it was meant to be. “What am I in for here? What’s purgatory like?”

“For one, it’s nothing like Hell,” Cas said. “There is no torture, but… there is pain.”

“Pain? What kind of pain?”

“Purgatory was meant to cleanse souls that could potentially still enter Heaven. The primary way to cleanse a soul is with holy fire. It will burn away your sins if you let it.”

“You can’t cross holy fire, Cas. You won’t be able to just come get me.”

“No, but I’ll be there to help pull you out once you have been cleansed.”

“There’s no way around it is there?”

“Not if you want to enter Heaven,” Cas said, stroking his thumb over the back of Dean’s hand. “Hopefully this is a scenario we don’t encounter for many hundreds, if not thousands of years.”

If Dean’s heart were still functioning it would have skipped a beat. This was night number four as a vampire and he hadn’t once thought about the whole immortality thing. And now not only was he thinking about it, but he was thinking about the inevitable ending to it all. It would definitely take some time to get use to the idea of living for so long. He hadn’t even fully accepted his new senses yet so how was he supposed to even think about living ‘forever’?

“Dean,” Cas said, snapping the hunter out of his train of thought. “I’ll be here for you as much as I can for however many years you continue to walk the Earth. As long as I exist you will not be alone here.”

Dean couldn’t find the right words to respond to that. He was incredibly grateful and honored, but he still had nagging doubts about what Cas was doing for him. He decided to shift the topic because he couldn’t quite articulate a proper response for that one. It was just too overwhelming. “What the fuck at the Campbell’s doing? Kidnapping Alphas? Interrogating them?”

“I honestly don’t know.”

“Well can you look into it?”

“I’m at war, Dean,” Cas snapped. At the sudden change of mood they released each other’s hands. Castiel immediately regretted his tone, knowing that Dean wasn’t quite aware of the full extent of the war in Heaven. “I just mean that I don’t have much time to look into the matter. I only barely have time to meet your needs. I can’t get involved in whatever it is your family is doing with Purgatory.”

“They are family by blood only. I don’t know these people. I don’t know what they are up to and I wouldn’t really care if it wasn’t sketchy as hell.” For a moment Cas tried to figure out what Dean meant by that, but he quickly remembered that ‘hell’ was not always used literally. Especially by Dean, even though the hunter had firsthand knowledge of the place. “And like it or not, I’m involved now.”

“The Alpha will not contact you again. I will make sure of it.”

That was only vaguely reassuring to Dean. Even if he wasn’t going to be getting a psychic teleplay of what was happening, Sam was still with the Campbell’s. There was no way he was going to let Sam participate in whatever stupid thing Samuel was involved in. It was a particularly bad idea to let it continue while he was missing his soul, since his brother had absolutely no judgment in his current condition.

Dean glanced at his watch and sighed with frustration. “Cas, I’m not going to make it to Bobby’s before sunrise.” He felt guilty even had to ask, but stopping for the day was going to slow everything down. “Do you mind…”

“Of course.” Castiel flew them with the Impala directly to Bobby’s junkyard. Dean chuckled and Cas quirked his eyebrow. “What’s so funny?”

“It’s not really funny. Well, it is. It’s just… you’re ridiculous sometimes Cas.” The angel frowned. “I mean that in a good way. I’d be so incredibly screwed if it weren’t for you…”

Dean stopped when Castiel looked distracted again. The angel’s feathers flared for a moment, matching the increasingly frustrated look on his face. The wings were almost entirely solid now, and they looked incredibly weird passing through the car seat like nothing was there. For a moment Dean just sat patiently and waited for his little conversation to end, enjoying the uninterrupted visual examination of the wings.

Then Cas came back to reality and met Dean’s eyes. “I do need to return now.”

“Yeah, I figured.”

“We will speak again soon.”

Castiel disappeared, leaving Dean to sit alone in his Impala in Bobby’s junkyard.


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dean makes it to Bobby’s house and sets to work finding out a way to retrieve Sam’s soul. Meanwhile, Crowley appears and begins to drill Dean for information.

When Dean entered Bobby’s home he immediately detected the older hunter’s heartbeat from somewhere deep in the house. He drifted towards the sound through the dimly lit rooms until he came across Bobby at his desk sprawled over a pile of books fast asleep. When Dean accidently stepped on a squeaky floorboard Bobby woke with a start and grabbed his shotgun from beside the desk. He aimed it at the intruder’s head and froze.

“Whoa,” Dean said as he held his hands up in a defensive gesture. “Good to see you too Bobby.”

He stared at Dean, wide eyed and obviously alarmed by his physical appearance. Moments passed while neither of them dared to move an inch. Eventually Bobby lowered the gun and returned it to its place leaning against his desk, but Dean could tell he wasn’t entirely comfortable with the circumstances. “Wasn’t expecting you till almost sun up.”

“Yeah, I got a ride on Angel Air,” Dean said as he stuck his hand back into his pockets. “Anyway, I’ve got a whole new pile of shit to sort through in addition to Sam’s soul thing,” Dean paused at the unusual cadence of Bobby’s heart. “You ok?”

“Yeah, I’m fine,” he said, but the pounding in his chest told a different story.

“You sound like you’re about the have a heart attack, man.”

Bobby sighed and Dean had to sympathize with his inability to cope with the situation. Dean wasn’t dealing with it very well either, but at least he’d had a few days to build up some acceptance. This was Bobby’s first experience with it off the phone and he didn't have much time to get use to the idea of seeing him in person. “It’s weird seeing you so… pale.”

“Yeah, I’m dead Bobby. We both need to get use to that.” He tried to shrug off the awkwardness. “Anyway, I need you to listen to me here. The Campbell’s are doing something really fucking sketchy and I need to get Sam’s soul back and get him the hell away from it, ok? You with me?”

Bobby couldn’t stop staring at him, noticing all the small changes in his appearance. He wasn’t only pale, but his eyes had a hauntingly hollow quality that unnerved him. It was still undeniably Dean, but not completely correct. But Dean was right. He was just going to have to get over it. They had too much stuff on their plate to get hung up on it. “What are they doing that’s so ‘sketchy?’”

“Well, for one they kidnapped the Alpha vampire.”

“The hell they do that for?”

“Looking for Purgatory, apparently.”

“Purgatory? What do they want with that?”

“According to the Alpha, they’re working for somebody. But I’ll be damned if I know who that is. And I doubt their going to just come out and tell me. Especially now.”

Bobby got up from his chair and immediately began looking through his vast collection of books. The sooner they got Sam’s soul back the sooner they could extract him from the Campbell’s and back out of the whole Alpha mess.

“How do you know all this, anyway?”

“It kind of… came to me in a vision?”

Bobby paused his search and skeptically looked at Dean. “A vision?”

“Yeah, I don’t know. I’ve been a vampire for all of four days, Bobby, and I don’t know jack shit about this. Then Cas popped in and scared the shit out of him. It was like a damn psychic creature convention in my skull. Good times,” Dean said with a fake smile.

Bobby turned back to his bookshelf and pulled out a copy of Dante’s _Divine Comedy_ , which he promptly handed to Dean. The vampire froze when he realized what it was that he was holding. It was basically the guidebook to the afterlife, Purgatory included. He opened it up and immediately flipped to a brutally vivid picture of Purgatory that caused his body to go rigid. Human souls burned in the holy fire, obviously agonized by the process, as an angel hovered over them in the idyllic white clouds that represented Heaven. Dean knew there was a surprising lack of fluffy white clouds upstairs, but the approximation of Purgatory seemed accurate to Cas’ description. The very thought brought back terrible memories of Hell.

Bobby was holding out a couple of other books, but Dean was too engrossed in the image in front of him to notice. “Dean?”

He looked up from the picture at Bobby. “Oh yeah, one more thing, I get to go to Purgatory. I’ve been to Heaven and Hell, so why not?” He slammed the book shut and threw it across the room. Dean hadn’t expected the book to actually dent the wall, not quite used to his enhanced strength. “Uh, sorry about that…”

Bobby rolled his eyes and was about to respond when a familiar voice cut through their conversation. “Well well well, Dean, you’ve got yourself into quite a little situation here.” Dean and Bobby turned to see Crowley standing in the doorway. “A vampire now, huh?”

“What the fuck are you doing here,” Dean growled. Crowley had a thick dark haze around him, which caused Dean to be confused at first. Then it slowly dawned on him that he was seeing the demon equivalent of Castiel’s angelic glow. From now on he’d be able to recognize demons on sight and he could definitely see an upside to his condition, as disgusted as he was with it as a whole.

Dean could also smell the stench of sulfur from across the room and it made him almost nauseous. And hey, one more fun fact: demons have heartbeats! That made sense considering they were possessing a living human, but it was still an interesting fact that he wouldn’t have even thought about before.

“Just paying Bobby here a little conjugal visit.”

“Last I checked you let me out of our little agreement,” Bobby said, setting his stack of books down on the desk. “And I got to keep my legs in the divorce.”

Crowley smirked and looked at Dean. “Ok, I admit it, I’m here because of you. I just can’t resist a hunter turned vampire.”

“I’m still a hunter. And you’re still a demon, so as far as I’m concerned you should get the fuck out of here before I kill you.”

“Don’t be so hasty Dean, I just wanted to glimpse the sideshow, is all. How’s it been for you so far, by the way?”

“Peachy. Now go away.”

“Have any visions?”

Dean took a few steps toward the demon, sensing that something was off about the trajectory of this conversation. “And what’s it to you?”

“Like I said, just came for the sideshow.” Dean suddenly grabbed Crowley by the lapels of his jacket and tried to slam him against the wall, but the demon teleported to the other side of the room before he had the chance to finish the job. “Now Dean, you need to get a hold of that anger management thing.”

“Fuck you,” Dean spat as he turned to face the demon again.

Both Dean and Bobby were suddenly forced back against the walls by Crowley’s telekinetic force. It was a lot stronger than Dean remembered and he wished one of his new found powers was the ability to actually resist it. Unfortunately he was stuck in the demon’s hold. Crowley casually walked across the room towards Dean, winking at Bobby as he passed by him. When he stood directly in front of the vampire he squeezed his psychic hold a little tighter. If Dean were human he’d be struggling to breathe, but as it was he was simply uncomfortable.

“Dean, it’ll be easier for the both of us if you just answer the questions. I can still kill you, you know. And we both know what you’re in for. So I’ll ask again, have you had any visions?”

Dean hesitated, thinking that maybe he should just get the whole Purgatory thing over and done with as soon as possible. But he actually needed to stick around to save Sam. If he died who else would take up the cause? He liked to think that Bobby would, but the older hunter had a lot of responsibilities to other hunters and couldn’t sacrifice himself so easily. And Cas… he was at war.

Before he could finish mulling over the possibilities he heard Bobby begin to gasp for air. “Oh yeah, and I can kill Bobby too, of course.”

“Yeah, I’ve had visions,” Dean shouted, his instinct to preserve Bobby’s life kicking into gear. The man had gone crippled and died already for him and Dean wasn’t going to force another terrible thing on him. Dean found the constricting sensation in his chest ease slightly. “Twice, but I won’t be getting any more.”

“And how do you know that?”

“Because of Cas,” Dean said.

“Your angel pal is still sticking around? That certainly makes things more interesting… But enough of that, what did these two vision entail exactly?”

“I don’t know, ok? The Alpha sucks at the whole ‘psychic visions’ thing.”

“Snippets, then.”

“Why the fuck are you so interested?” When Bobby cried out in pain Dean flinched. “Alright! I’ll tell you, but it was a jumbled mess. There was a cemetery and a bald guy and these fucking creepy twins. I don’t know who any of those people were. It seemed like a recruitment drive or something. That’s what I got out of it anyway.”

“Ok, and the second one?”

“Same thing,” Dean said, voice as steady as it could be given the situation. “Guess he didn’t think I’d get it the first time.”

Crowley looked him up and down. “You wouldn’t be lying to me, would you Dean?”

“I’m telling the truth,” Dean growled, gums tickling with the urge to release his teeth and tear Crowley apart. Dean was too pissed to care about the gruesome imagery flashing before his eyes. He just wanted to kill the bastard and he didn’t care how.

“Fine,” Crowley said before snapping his fingers and releasing them. Before either of them could react the demon disappeared.

Bobby immediately clutched his chest and gasped for air. “What the hell was that?”

“I don’t know,” Dean said, rushing to the Bobby’s side. He put a hand on his shoulder to steady him, but he could hear that Bobby’s heart rate was far more rapid than it should be. “Calm down, Bobby, you’re going to have a heart attack.”

Bobby took a seat at his desk and began to regain control of his breathing. “Good thinking not telling him about visions with the Campbell’s.”

“Yeah, I definitely don’t want him involved with anything having to do with Sam. As far as I’m concerned, that whole incident is need-to-know only.”

“I agree,” Bobby said as he opened up the book in front of him. “Now we need to focus on what’s important here. Whatever game their playing, we ain’t part of it. We need to work on Sam’s soul.”

Dean was glad that Bobby appeared to be as determined as he was. Maybe he could count on the hunter to carry the torch if he died. He hoped it didn’t come to that though. He just honestly wasn’t done with earth yet, even if the rest of his experience was going to be dramatically different.

Together they hit the books, but Dean was careful to avoid any of the ones involving Purgatory because he could only handle one issue at a time. Instead he stuck to books about Hell, which was surprisingly easier for him to think about considering he’d already been there. His knowledge of Lucifer’s cage was minimal, however, and there were very few sources out there with new information. But he read on, hoping and waiting for that one bit of information that would solve everything.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [This](http://www.turnbacktogod.com/wp-content/uploads/2008/09/purgatory-scene-02.jpg) is the picture I was trying to describe. Sorry for the weird religious source. If only they knew that I was using their website as a tool to write a story about gay angel/vampire love. O_O


	6. Chapter 6

About three days into their study session Dean could tell his condition was headed south. Bobby started to smell like a hamburger to him and the pounding of his heart was almost deafening. He was surprised that he made it almost four days without feeling the urge to feed. It was a marked improvement over the first twenty-four hours where he needed to consume blood multiple times, most of it from Cas.

Over the past few days he even started to become accustom to his new senses and felt less shame over using them to his advantage in small ways. The sounds didn’t give him nearly as much of a headache as they did at first and he actually found it helpful. Not having to turn a light on when wandering around the house at night was also beneficial, especially when Bobby was asleep. But man, it did feel kind of creepy.

When the urges first started to arise he closed himself up in his guest room. Bobby didn’t ask and Dean didn’t really feel like explaining. Then Dean began to pray, hoping Cas could pull himself away from the war long enough to help him. “Cas, I…” he stopped, not wanting to articulate the next part. ‘I need to feed,’ sounded too corny, but it certainly got the message across. Then he thought of a better way to put it. “I’m probably going to eat Bobby if you don’t get down here.”

Castiel appeared in front of him a few seconds later. Dean could tell something was wrong immediately as his eyes looked weary in a way that no angel’s should. The guy looked exhausted. “Cas? You ok?”

“I’m fine,” he replied, though Dean didn’t entirely buy the act. He wanted to question him further, but Cas quickly changed the topic. “You need to feed.”

Cas began to roll up his sleeve, but Dean reached out and stopped him. At this point the vampire was acting completely on instinct and his eyes were drawn to the pounding vein in Castiel’s throat. Eventually Cas seemed to understand what was happening and tilted his head to the side to oblige him. Dean released his teeth and used one hand to take hold of Cas’ neck for a better angle as he buried his other hand deep within the angel’s trench coat. He pulled Cas firmly up against him.

When he sank his teeth into the bulging vein he was rewarded with a hot gush of blood that sent waves of excitement through his body. Castiel made a startled noise at the initial pain, but then he wrapped his arms around Dean and held him close. Dean had instincts now that were stronger than his rational mind and Castiel was more than willing to let him express them in the safety of his arms. He understood what Dean was going through probably better than the hunter did himself.

Dean began to grind up against Cas as he fed, feeling the warmth spread all throughout him from both the blood and Cas’ body heat. Considering he didn’t have a heartbeat, he was surprised to find himself turned on from the friction. He didn’t think he’d ever get an erection again, but there he was dry humping an angel. A few days ago he would have been horrified with his actions, but he’d gotten to a certain level of acceptance to let his instincts just take over when the conditions were right. And at the moment they were incredibly right.

To Dean’s surprise Cas was turned on from his actions as well. Not only was the angel sporting a hard on, but he was actually beginning to whimper into Dean’s ear as their friction increased. Castiel’s grip on him tightened and Dean let his fingers wander under Cas’ waistband. When he felt the angel’s hot skin against his own cold fingers Dean moaned into his neck. Castiel responded by returning the friction and letting out a moan of his own. And God, Dean was ridiculously turned on from it all.

He released Cas’ neck and partially sheathed his teeth. When he pulled back he met Cas’ half lidded eyes and he was stunned at how lost in pleasure he looked. Dean was pretty sure he didn’t look much better, though. They simultaneously leaned in for a kiss and Castiel let his tongue gently glide over Dean’s sharp teeth. It only produced small droplets of blood, but Dean eagerly drank it up as Cas gave in to the hungry blood tinged kiss. Dean had really and truly lost control of himself, but he didn’t care. As long as Castiel let him do this, he would.

Then Cas broke the kiss and Dean retracted his teeth in panic. “I’m sorry!”

“Dean,” Cas said, taking the hunter’s face in his hands. “Do not apologize. You did nothing wrong.” Dean didn’t entirely believe him on that point, but Castiel’s expression was more than a little reassuring. “It’s just… you called me away from the battlefield. I can only spend time away if it is absolutely necessary.”

“Feeding me is ‘absolutely necessary?’”

“Yes.”

“I don’t think I’ll ever understand your priorities, Cas.” He wiped his mouth with his sleeve. Now that he was fed the revulsion for the act began to creep up on him again. When he gave into his instincts his shame evaporated, but when he regained control it bounced back with a vengeance.

“You are one of my greatest allies,” Cas said as he ran his thumb across Dean’s bottom lip. The blood smeared across his face was gone instantly and he felt a little bit of his shame disappear with the act. “I can’t let you succumb to your urges and kill again. It’s important to me. You are important to me.”

Dean smiled at his words, but his happiness was bogged down by Castiel’s obvious distress. The angel looked so incredibly exhausted and he wished he could cure his needs as easily as Cas cured his. But Dean wasn’t entirely sure what his ‘needs’ were. Castiel had kept most of the details of the war away from him and as far as he knew angels didn’t have the need to sleep or eat or, well, anything else really. But he wanted to help.

“This war, it’s pretty bad huh?” The look on the angel’s face said it all, really. He didn’t need a verbal answer. “Can I help?”

“I do not mean to belittle you, but you are no match for an angel.”

“Well, obviously. But in some other way?”

“Just… keep praying to me. That’s all I need from you.”

“That won’t, I don’t know, distract you?”

“It sooths me, Dean. It helps remind me what I’m fighting for.”

Dean wanted to argue against that again, but he learned from their previous disagreements that it was a losing battle. The angel thought he still represented the good of humanity and nothing Dean said was going to change his mind. Instead he kissed him, a clean kiss free of blood. This kiss was all about appreciating Castiel instead of satisfying some primal need. It was tender and loving in a way Dean didn’t think he was capable. When Cas broke the kiss this time Dean didn’t apologize.

“I need to go now, Dean,” he whispered.

“I know,” he said. The Castiel disappeared from his arms.  
-

When Dean went back downstairs Bobby was still hunched over a huge stack of books. They had several impossible ideas for how to retrieve Sam’s soul, but none of them really seemed all that realistic. Then again, ‘realistic’ was a term Dean rarely used to describe his life so he figured they might as well give them a shot anyway.

“What’re we down to now?”

“There are only two names left on the list of creatures that can get into Lucifer’s cage: God and Death. And I don’t think either of them are gonna lend us a hand here.”

Dean was pretty sure Bobby was right, but he wasn’t even close to giving up on either of them yet. He just had to figure out a way to do it. Impossible odds seemed like the normal state of affairs for him, though, so he was ready for the challenge. But at that moment his mind was trying to focus on ten different things at once and he knew his head wasn’t entirely in the game.

“I’m going to go for a walk, clear my head, get some fresh air.”

“’Fresh air,’” Bobby repeated. It dawned on Dean that he didn’t have the need to breathe, but he hoped the other two reasons were enough. When Bobby nodded his head, Dean took it as a sign of approval.

As he meandered through Bobby’s junkyard his mind wandered through the various subjects floating around in his head. His body was still warm from his encounter with Castiel and he had to stop and wonder how the hell he’d gotten to this point. If he wasn’t a vampire would he have ever been uninhibited enough to do that? Would they have ever gotten into that situation otherwise? His instincts were all consuming now. But maybe that was a good thing.

And then there was Purgatory. It was the topic he’d been avoiding. He would inevitably go there and, hey, at least it wasn’t Hell. But now there was a big fuss about the place and he had to wonder what that meant for him. He was serious when he said he wanted no part of the mess that the Campbell’s were getting into, but he couldn’t help feeling like he needed to be involved. Purgatory was no longer some imaginary place. It was just as real as Heaven or Hell and Dean had seat reserved for him there.

Dean gradually began to detect the scent of sulfur, much like the odor Crowley emitted when he’d surprisingly popped into the room. Instead of being alarmed, Dean was incredibly annoyed. How long was the demons stink going to stick around? Crowley had been gone for days. Then the smell got stronger than it had been just moments ago and Dean covered his nose to block the awful stench. This couldn’t be remnants of what Crowley left behind…

Before Dean could scan his environment he was jumped by two foul demons who quickly threw a bag over his head. Dean struggled, but even his supernatural strength was no match for two demons on a mission. His hands were tied around his back and before he could call for help he was beaten unconscious by two vile smelling demons.


	7. Chapter 7

As Dean regained consciousness he realized his hands and feet were chained to the chair he was sitting in and that damn bag was still over his head. His new strength wasn’t doing anything to free him and he felt completely helpless. Worse yet, he could still smell the awful stench of demons and he knew he was being watched by the bastards. When the bag was finally lifted off his head he got a look at his demonic captors. “Evil bitch. Long time no see.”

Meg was standing in front of him with two male demons close behind her. “Heya cupcake. Nice little mess you got yourself tangled up in here.”

Dean smirked at her. “Hmm, yeah.  Suppose so.  You stink, by the way.”

“Aw, poor boy needs to learn how to talk to a lady.” Meg leaned in close and whispered into his ear. “You don’t smell too hot yourself. You still look hot, however…” She nibbled his earlobe, causing him to jerk away and momentarily unsheathe his teeth. He wanted nothing more to destroy her in that moment, but he was sadly stuck exactly where he was. She giggled at his response and straddled his lap.

“Ok, enough foreplay. What the fuck do you want with me?” He forced his teeth back into place and glared at her as she stood up straight.

Meg’s face shifted from the flirtatious smirk she’d been sporting to a serious and desperate grimace. “Where’s Crowley?”

“How the fuck should I know?”

“From what I hear, your grandpappy is his little lapdog. You gotta know where his majesty is held up.”

“Wait, Crowley is behind this shit with Purgatory?”

“Don’t act so surprised. You locked Lucifer up tight and everyone scrambled for the reigns of Hell. Bastard made a power grab before the cage was even locked up.”

“You’re telling me there’s a civil war in Hell too?”

“I wouldn’t describe it as ‘civil.’”

“You know what the fuck I mean.”

“It’s not so much of a war. More like an extermination…”

Dean raised his eyebrows, slowly realizing what she was actually saying. “So I guess Crowley isn’t too fond of Lucifer loyalists, is he?” She just stared at him, trying her best to keep up a good poker face. He knew Meg would never willingly admit a weakness like this, but it was obvious. Crowley was in charge and she was completely screwed. “Why should I care?”

“Crowley has some ugly plans in store for Purgatory. I somehow doubt you want to experience that… So tell me where Crowley is and you can probably avoid a fate worse than Hell.”

“I don’t know. Ok? And I can’t exactly call them up. ‘Hey, it’s your long lost cousin Dean. I’m a vampire now. Where you at?’”

“You must know something!” Meg was extremely desperate, no doubt about it.

Dean weighed the options. The future destination of his soul was somewhat concerning, but Sam’s soul was still his first priority. If Crowley had made a power grab and is ‘in charge’ downstairs he might have the strength to get Sam’s soul back. Of course Meg didn’t have a heart, though, so she wouldn’t think like that. “I do know something. Unchain me and I’ll consider the deal.”

Meg hesitated, but eventually nodded to one of her henchmen to unlock the chains holding Dean’s hands and feet. When Dean was free he stood up from the chair he’d been bound to, forcing Meg to take a step back. He got directly up in Meg’s face and growled at her. “You let me get one thing out of Crowley first and you have a deal.”

“What’s that?”

“Does it matter?”

“Not really.” Meg looked back at her companions for a moment before meeting Dean’s eyes again. “Fine. We have a deal?” There was a hint of weakness in her voice that made Dean happy. He actually felt like he had the upper hand here.

Dean exhaled and considered his remaining options. There wasn’t much left he could do. “Yeah.”

Meg smiled and clapped her hands together. “Good. Hearts and puppies all around!”

“But, I have one more condition if we’re going to work together.”

Her smiled quickly disappeared. “And what’s that?”

“I’m calling Cas.”

Meg frowned and looked like she’d just been kicked in the gut. “You’ve got to be kidding.”

“Not in the slightest.”

“Why would you do that?”

“You want to find Crowley? He’s your guy. I don’t have shit about where he is. Cas can find him.”

Meg crossed her arms and sighed. “Fine, but only ‘cause that boy toy of yours is a fine piece of angel food cake.” She bit her bottom lip and giggled like a school girl. Dean really wanted to hurt her. Badly.

Instead he closed his eyes and prayed. “Cas, I kinda need your help down here. It’s urgent… I’m surrounded by demons and…”

Castiel appeared in front of him instantly and the three demons quickly backed away. Cas began to reach out to exorcise them, but Dean grabbed his hand and forced him to stop. “Wait!” Cas looked at him wide eyed and confused. “We’re working with them.”

“Why would we work with such abominations?”

“Careful, honey,” Meg interrupted. “Your boyfriend here is bordering on abomination himself.”

Castiel’s eyes flared with righteous fury as he stared the demon down. “If you value your continued existence, you should think twice before speaking of Dean in such a way.”

Dean put his hands on either side of the angel’s face and forced his attention back to him. “Whoa, Cas, calm down.” Castiel tore his eyes away from the demons to look at him. “I need your help, ok? Forget about them. Pretend they aren’t here for a minute.”

Cas’ face lost its anger when he managed to focus on the hunter in front of him. “What do you need, Dean?”

“I need to find Crowley. He’s the one pulling the strings on the whole Purgatory thing. He might…” He lowered his voice, not exactly wanting to give away the game plan to the demons. They could probably still hear him, but he just felt more comfortable speaking in a hushed tone about the topic. “He might be able to get Sam’s soul back.”

“Dean…”

“I know, I know, angel war, but...” Dean couldn’t really finish that sentence. There was just too much weighing on getting Crowley. Both he and Sam’s soul was on the line. “I need you here.”

Cas seemed to understand the situation well enough and reluctantly agreed. “Fine,” he said with a sigh. “I will be back momentarily.”

Cas disappeared and Dean turned to see Meg smirking at him with the most obnoxious grin ever. “What?!”

“An angel and a vampire sitting in a tree. K-I-”

“Shut up,” he growled, more than a little tempted to tear her apart. Damn, his instincts were hard to fight when the person in front of him was so obnoxious.

Castiel reappeared a moment later with a bowl of dry ingredients that Dean couldn’t recognize. He set the bowl down in the middle of the room and lit its contents on fire. Everyone in the room waited for the angel to say something. Anything. But he stood there quietly for almost a minute. “It’s not working. Crowley is hidden from me.”

Dean controlled his frustration and tried to think of another way. They needed to find Crowley and if Crowley was hidden they’d have to find someone that was around him instead. “You can find any human without these rib tattoos, right?”

Cas nodded. “Who should I find?”

Dean paused and thought about it. “Samuel Campbell. My grandfather.”

Cas nodded again, then his eyes went blank and he stood completely still in the middle of the room. Dean wasn’t entirely sure what he was witnessing, but after several seconds of silence the angel’s eyes filled with life again and he looked back to Dean. “I’ve found him. And I believe Crowley is near him, though I can’t be sure.”

“Good enough,” Dean said. It was the best lead they had.  
-

They arrived outside a large prison like structure and Dean could instantly hear dozens of heartbeats coming from inside the building. Some of them had the cadence of human hearts while others beat at a rhythm he couldn’t even begin to recognize. Worse yet he smelled vampires nearby, and how he knew they were vampires he wasn’t sure. It wasn’t a sickening smell, but rather a smell of a human without the warmth of life. He quickly decided not to let the idea linger for long.

Cas opened up the side door for them and the five creatures began to explore the halls of the prison. As they worked their way down the dark corridors Dean felt sick. There were dozens of monsters locked up with clear signs of torture. Some of them called out as they passed and one particular female vampire tried to reach through the bars directly toward Dean. He stopped as she whimpered, “help me, please.” Dean was conflicted beyond belief. He didn’t know any of these creatures. For all he knew they could be like him, an unwilling creature of the night who didn’t want to be evil. Or they could be horrific serial killers. He just didn’t know anymore.

Castiel gripped Dean’s elbow, gently guiding him away from the cell. Neither of them had to say anything. They knew they had to keep moving if they were going to find Crowley. Dean continued walking past cell after cell, horrified at the level of brutality that’d taken place in the building. Not only was the air thick with the smells of the monsters around him, but there was the powerful scent of blood coming from all direction. He was so incredibly thankful that he’d fed within the past day, because he’d probably be driven mad.

When they’d exited the cell block the angel froze in the middle of the hallway. “Wait.”

Then Dean sensed something that’d he’d never detected before. There was an odor of sulfur mixed with singed fur and Dean was completely confused about what that could mean. “What the hell is that?” Then he heard the familiar growl and he didn’t need to be told what was headed their way.

“Dammit, we woke the guards” Meg said. “Run.”

They dashed down the hallway, but the two demons that were bringing up the rear weren’t fast enough to escape the Hellhound’s claws. Cas, Dean, and Meg quickly barricaded themselves in a storage room as they heard the two demons crying out in pain on the other side of the door. Dean grabbed the plastic bag of rock salt from his jacket pocket and quickly lined the doors with it. They were safe… for the moment.

“Dammit, it was a trap.”

“Good deduction skills, big boy,” Meg said with her trademark smirk. She took one look at the blood splattered on the windows in the door and she knew what she had to do. “I’ll be pulling for you from Cleveland.”

“What?” Once again Dean fought the urge to kill her right then and there. Really, why the hell not at this point?

“Look, I didn’t know this was going to happen. Bright side? When they chew up my meatsuit it’ll buy you a few seconds.” She smirked again. “Seacrest out.” Meg opened up her mouth and stretched her arms out. Nothing happened. She waited. And waited. And waited.

When it was clear she wasn’t going anywhere Castiel spoke. “It’s a spell I think. From Crowley. Within these walls you are locked inside your body.”

Dean laughed. “Karma’s a bitch, bitch.”

Meg looked horrified. After a few seconds of looking around the room to create a backup plan she gave up and resorted to the last option available. She reached into her belt and pulled out the demon killing knife. The demon examined it for a moment before handing it over to Dean. “This is your best bet against Crowley. I know how Hellhounds work. I can fight them.”

Then she turned to Cas and licked her lips. In an instant she reached her hands into Castiel’s coat and pulled him in for a kiss that was way more passionate than was necessary. Dean instantly unsheathed his teeth while he grabbed her and flung her back against the wall. “Hands off the angel you piece of shit!”

When she slammed into the wall he noticed she had Cas’ angel sword and Dean quickly stepped in front of him in a protective stance. Dean was pretty sure the angel could take care of himself, but once more he found himself giving into his instincts.  Dean didn’t even think twice about stepping between Castiel and the object that could kill him. He was not going to let that happen. Not now. Not ever.

“Don’t worry, sugar muffin, I ain’t gonna hurt your lover boy. I’m going to use it against the Hellhounds.”

“Will that work?” Dean let his teeth slide back into their slots and his stance relaxed slightly, though he still kept himself in front of his angel.

“Only one way to find out,” she said as she adjusted the sword in her hand. “Run.”

Dean looked at Cas. The angel nodded and that was all the confirmation Dean needed. Together they ran down the hallway as Meg stood by the eroding salt line ready to strike the Hellhounds dead. Dean wasn’t even sure if he could see a Hellhound, but he didn’t really want to stick around to find out. When he heard the doors behind them break apart he didn’t even think about looking back.  
-

Dean and Cas continued exploring the building without their former demon companions. Most of the rooms on the second floor were vacant outside the cell block and they decided to head to the first floor to continue their search. When they began to descend down a flight of stairs the hunter was blinded by the bright white light of Castiel’s grace. He knew instantly that the angel had been banished and he released his teeth again in response to whatever threat he was about to face. When the room dimmed enough for it to be tolerable he opened his eyes to see Samuel with his bloodied hand in the center of a sigil.

“You bastard.” Dean was suddenly apprehended by two demons. “Damn you, Samuel.”

“Yes,” Crowley said as he rounded the corner. “I have to say, he’s the best purchase I’ve made since Dick Cheney.”

Dean let his teeth retract, obviously outnumbered and completely useless in a fight. Fucking Crowley. He really hated this guy. “Hiya, Crowley. How’s tricks?

“Above your pay grade. Been working. Big things. Alas, you’ll be too dead to participate.”

“Really?”

“Shame I have to do away with you. I found you vastly amusing.” He turned and exited the room as the demons dragged Dean away. Needless to say, Dean was really sick of getting manhandled by demons.


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The exciting conclusion of  Caged  Heat with Dean as a vampire.  Up next, Appointment in  Samarra.

Dean was thrown into a vacant storage room that smelled overwhelmingly of blood. For an instant a wave of hunger washed over him, but when he detected rotting flesh he got nauseous and just wanted to get out of there. At least rotting corpses were still gross in his book. He quickly examined the room and realized it was filled with bodies that had been ripped to shreds by something ferocious. Clearly this was not a good place to be.

Then two horrible looking creatures were shoved into the room with him. He had no idea what they were at first, but the rotten flesh, sharp teeth, and hungry look in their eyes seemed to indicate that they were ghouls. And ew, ghouls were gross when you could see through their human disguise.

“Sick, dude,” he said as the ghouls charged at him.

Dean snapped his teeth out ready for a fight. Both ghouls slammed into him at the same time, sending him flailing backwards onto the concrete floor. One of the ghouls managed to bite his arm and tear out a large chunk of his skin, but he quickly swung his arm with such force that the ghoul’s head snapped backwards. Without thinking he grabbed its head with his free hand and tore it the rest of the way off. His strength shocked him for a second, but then he remembered the other ghoul in the room and got over it.

The second ghoul scrambled away from him as he dropped the head to the floor. Dean was familiar with brutality, but he had to blame this particularly gruesome battle on his instincts again. And the other ghoul had to be aware that that was the case because he was frantically running towards the door for his life. Dean was faster than him though, and he gave the second ghoul the same treatment as the first. Really, what were Crowley’s demons thinking? If he were a normal human it would have been a challenging situation, but he was a hunter and a vampire.

To his surprise his wound was almost all the way healed. With one less thing to worry about, he continued with his mission. He paused in the hallway and inhaled deeply. Dean could smell the strong aroma of sulfur coming from his right, but that didn’t necessarily mean it was Crowley. He decided to follow the scent anyway, hoping it’d at least lead him to a guard or something else useful. Then Dean heard Meg crying out in pain and he knew it had to be her that he was tracking.

Following the sound led him to a torture room with not only Meg, but his obviously possessed cousin Christian. He never liked Christian, but even this was entirely unexpected. Meg was strapped down to a table with large thick leather straps. The demon inside Christian was obviously and expert because Dean hadn’t seen that kind of work since Alistair. When his thought wandered back to his time in Hell he forcefully shoved those nightmares aside and tried to focus on what was important. He was alone and Meg was the only thing close to an ally that he had in the whole building. Dean was disgusted with the thought that she was his best hope, but it was an unfortunate truth.

He took out the demon knife and silently crossed the room towards them. When Meg spotted Dean she began to laugh and he was tempted to tell her to shut up, but that’d be even more damaging to his attempt at being stealth.

“What’s so funny,” Christian asked. When Dean plunged the knife into his back demon let out a muddled scream.

“Dean Winchester is behind you, meatsack,” Meg said with a laugh.

Dean dropped Christian’s lifeless body to the floor and set to work freeing Meg. “Don’t think this means we’re friends,” he said as he unhitched the last latch.

“Don’t worry, Buttercup. I know the only thing that gets ya hot and bothered is that angel of yours.”

Dean couldn’t think of a witty retort and had to settle for rolling his eyes instead. Meg threw her clothing back on quickly as Dean scanned the room for a solution. He spotted the alarm on the wall and formulated a plan on the fly.  
-

Crowley was interrogating a Djinn when the alarm went off. His first instinct was to run to the interrogation room, knowing it was the most vulnerable place to keep a prisoner during any sort of attack. When entered the room and took in the bloody scene around him he realized something had gone terribly wrong. What he didn’t notice was the vampire standing next to the alarm on the wall. That is, until the vampire shut it off and turned toward the him. Before Crowley could try to charge him Dean pointed to the Devil’s trap on the ceiling.

Crowley sighed and rolled his eyes. “So? To what do I owe this reach around?”  
Then Meg entered the room, and for once Dean appreciated her cocky smirk. “Crowley.”  
“Whore,” he replied.

“Okay, you know what,” she said as she clutched her fist together. Crowley cried out and fell to his knees. “The best torturers never get their hands dirty. Dean wants a word with you.”

Crowley looked at the hunter and smiled that incredibly insincere smile of his. “What can I do for you, Dean?”

“Sam’s soul. Get it back.”

“No.”

Dean looked back to his demon companion. “Meg?”

She smiled and repeated her psychic torture on Crowley. If there was one thing he could give Meg props for, it was her ability to torture. Though Dean tried not to think about it too much, they did have the same teacher in Hell. It sickened him, but it was yet another unavoidable truth.

“I can’t,” Crowley gasped.

“Can’t or won’t?” Dean demanded.

“I said ‘can’t’. I meant ‘can’t’, you blood sucking lunatic. I was lucky to get this much of your brother out. Going back in there for the sloppy bits? No way. I’m good, but those two in there? Forget it.”

Dean didn’t want to give up, but Crowley had a point. The demon stood no chance against Michael and Lucifer and, if anything, they’d be needlessly giving the devil a way out of his cage. This option was a dead end. Either way, Crowley was dying today. He pulled the knife from his belt and handed it to Meg. “Fine he’s all yours.”

Meg approached the edge of the devil’s trap and looked back at Dean. “You’ll let me back out, right?” He nodded and she turned her attention back towards Crowley. Then she stepped into the circle with the knife drawn. “This is for Lucifer, you pompous little –“

Crowley grabbed her immediately and pulled her to the floor. He took the knife from her hand and threw it onto the ceiling to break the devil’s trap. “That’s better. You don’t know torture, you little insect.”

“Leave them alone,” a familiar voice said from across the room.

Dean smiled when he saw his angel standing there, beautiful and powerful. “Cas…”

Castiel met his eyes only momentarily before turning back to Crowley. But the assurance in Cas’ eyes was enough for Dean to gain some confidence in that moment. Castiel’s wings were spread wide in an offensive gesture and his eyes blazed with a righteous fury that sent chills down Dean’s spine. He was so incredibly grateful that the angel was on his side.

“Castiel, you the cavalry now? You protecting your little pet here?”

“Put the knife down,” the angel demanded.

“You that bossy in Heaven? Hear you’re losing out to Raphael. The whole affair makes Vietnam look like a roller derby.” Just then Crowley noticed the large burlap sack in the angel’s hand. “Hey, what’s in the gift bag?”

Cas took a skull out and held it up. “You are.”

“Not possible.”

“You didn’t hide your bones as well as you should have.”

Crowley clapped his hands sarcastically, trying to convey confidence when really he was terrified out of his mind. “Cookie for you.”

“Can you restore Sam’s soul or not?”

“If I could help out in any other –“

“Answer him!” Dean shouted.

Crowley looked back at the vampire, unable to find a wisecrack witty enough to get him out of the situation. He had to settle for simplicity. “I can’t.”

Dean and Cas looked at each other. When Dean nodded Cas lit the bones on fire and Crowley began to burn. The demon screamed and Dean stepped back, his skin prickling at the increasing heat the demon was releasing. He even had to close his eyes, unable to process something as bright as raw fire. It hurt and as much as he’d loved to see the bastard destroyed, he just couldn’t handle it. Then there was nothing, but ash drifting through the air.

When the room dimmed Dean glanced about the room and realized Meg was long gone. “She’s smart. I was going to kill her anyway.”  
-

Castiel flew Dean back to the edge of Bobby’s junkyard. The hunter was eager to get back inside and let Bobby know he was alright, but Cas clutched his sleeve and halted him before he could walk towards the door. “Dean, we need to talk.”

“Just the words every man wants to hear!” The sarcasm was lost on Castiel and Dean knew it had to be pretty serious judging by the expression on his face. “What is it?”

“You need to know that Sam may not survive having his soul returned to his body.”

“What?”

“Sam’s soul has been locked in the cage with Michael and Lucifer for over a year. And they have nothing to do, but take their frustrations out on him. You understand?” Dean just stood there staring at him, half of him not wanting to believe it and the other half not entirely understanding Cas’ point. “If we try to shove that mutilated thing down Sam’s gullet, we have no idea what will happen. It could be catastrophic.”

“You mean he dies.”

“I mean he doesn’t. Paralysis, insanity, psychic pain so profound that he’s locked inside himself for the rest of his life.”

“But you’re saying you don’t know anything for sure. I mean he could be fine?”

“He could be, yes.”

“Well, ok then,” Dean said as he turned around and started walking towards the house.

“But I sincerely doubt it.”

The sadness in the angel’s voice made Dean pause and turn back towards him. The look on Cas’ face was just as hopeless and Dean felt like he’d just got kicked in the gut. “Well, if he’s not fine, then you fix him.”

“Dean, I wouldn’t know where to begin.”

“Then you figure it out, Cas! Come on. He needs his soul!” He took a few steps until he was standing directly in front of the angel. “Look, we get it back and if there are complications we fix those too.”

“If we fail Sam will suffer horrifically.”

“He is suffering horrifically!” Dean clutched Cas by the lapels of his trench coat, unsure of exactly what he was trying to accomplish with the gesture. Castiel wasn’t threatened by it in the slightest, though, and simply maintained their steady eye contact. “That thing is not Sam. The soul that’s stuck in the cage? That’s Sam! And it is suffering.”

“Dean…” Castiel put his hand on the hunter’s cheek. It was then that Dean realized his teeth were out and he honestly didn’t remember when that happened. It seemed they were also reacting on an instinct that Dean didn’t even really understand. But if Cas’s gentle stroke on his cheek meant anything, he wasn’t fazed by it. “This is why I need you.”

“What?” And ok, seriously, what?

“Your soul is so pure, so precious… so Righteous. Even in the body of a monster you show more humanity than any person I’ve ever met.” Castiel let his thumb wander over Dean’s bottom lip, gently gliding along his sharp teeth. “The importance of the soul should never be discounted. But returning Sam’s to his body may not have the results that you hope for.”

“I need to do it anyway,” Dean said through gritted teeth.

“I know,” Cas said as he planted a tender kiss on Dean’s lips. Then he let his forehead rest against the hunter’s and they stood silently for a minute among the stacks of cars in Bobby’s junkyard. Somewhere along the line Dean’s teeth had retracted, but he honestly didn’t care anymore. There was more to worry about. “Please keep praying.”

“I will,” Dean said. “Of course I will.”

When Castiel disappeared Dean took another minute for himself. Life was far too complicating, but dammit, he had Cas. And more importantly, Cas had him. Praying felt like such a small favor compared to the lengths the angel had gone for him. But it was a favor that Dean was more than willing to give.


	9. Chapter 9

They had two choices for getting Sam’s soul back: God or Death. To Dean’s surprise, Bobby had already prayed to God and, predictably, there no answer. That left only Death, but honestly they had no idea how to reach him or even if he’d give a damn. The guy wasn’t exactly altruistic and the only leverage they had over him was that damn ring they had buried in Bobby’s yard. It was weak, but it was all they had. For the next week they hit the books looking up anything and everything on him, but the whole plan felt like an incredible long shot.

Then Dean started to feel hungry again…

Dean had recognized the first symptoms long before they got dire and was able to safely separate himself from Bobby before he was even remotely tempted to hurt him. He took a couple of books and locked himself up in his room. He really had to stop and wonder how being a vampire became second nature in just a little under two weeks. It went from a ‘curse’ to a ‘condition.’ If he didn’t have Cas in his life, though, things would be very different.

“Cas, uh, this isn’t urgent, but… I’m going to need you soon.”

Dean intentionally left the prayer short. Despite growing into his new circumstances, he was still uncomfortable with the jargon around it. Castiel seemed so matter of fact about ‘feeding,’ but using that word still sounded horrifically cheesy and kind of gross. He preferred to think of it as taking care of a problem and doing what was necessary to keep himself under control. During the act, though, all shame went out the window. He didn’t care what it was called then.

Within a few minutes Dean fell asleep with some dusty book open face down on his chest. His pattern of sleep seemed to be a day’s worth of rest every two or three days, which meant he could usually get a lot more work done than usual. According to Castiel, Sam wasn’t sleeping at all, though, and it creeped him out to think that, as a vampire, he had such a human quality that his brother lacked. It only furthered his point that Sam wasn’t human.

Dean awoke to the sound of wings and he felt the angel sit on the edge of the bed next to him. When he opened his eyes he was stunned to see them draped over his legs and dropping off the opposite side of the bed. The wings were hard to ignore now days, but they only ever moved from their folded up position when Castiel was about to take flight. But there they were fanned out just inches above him.

“Dean?”

He quickly realized he probably had a ridiculous expression on his face and he immediately directed his attention to Cas’ eyes. “Uh… I didn’t mean to stare. It’s just…”

“It’s just what?”

“I don’t know, just took me by surprise. Not entirely use to them, especially when, you know, they're all flat against your back.” He closed the book that was still on his chest and set it on the nightstand. However, he was still transfixed by the wings and couldn’t help, but let his eyes wander back to them.

“I can’t lay them flat if I am sitting here. They would not be able to pass through you.”

“Really?”

“Yes.”

“Heh, the upside to being a vampire,” he said, once again speaking without thinking about it. “I mean, not that I’d try to touch them… unless you wanted me too… I mean, fuck… I…”

“Dean,” Cas said, hoping to break Dean out of the mild panic attack he appeared to be having. “You prayed because you needed something.”

“Yeah, uh, right.”

Dean sat up against the headboard, careful to avoid touching the wings as he did so. He just wasn’t sure what the protocol was and didn’t want to create any sort of awkwardness. Castiel, however, took care of the required awkwardness of the day by climbing up onto the bed and straddling him. His wings were draped on either side of Dean, curtaining the rest of the room off from them as they fell through the mattress.

At first, Dean wasn’t sure what the make of it, but when Cas loosened his tie even more and popped the top two buttons of his shirt he started to understand what was happening. His teeth came out the moment he saw the bulging vein in Cas’ throat, but instead of lunging he let his fingers glide over Cas’ exposed skin just below his neck. Dean could feel the warmth of his skin against his cold fingertips and could hear his heartbeat speeding up as their physical contact increased.

Then Cas was leaning forward and kissing him. And dammit, Dean was hard instantly. Seriously, how does that work without a heartbeat? But hey, that was hardly important to him at the moment. What was important was the taste of Castiel and feel of his weight on his lap pressing against his erection. The kiss was brief, however, and when they parted their lips were tinged with blood. He had tried not to injure him as it somehow seemed wrong to see such a beautiful creature like that, but it’d happened anyway.

When Cas turned his head to give Dean better access his guilt was quickly forgotten. Without hesitation the vampire sunk his teeth into the angel’s throat. Castiel buried one hand in Dean’s hair while the other gripped Dean’s shoulder tight as though he were pulling him from perdition for a second time. The gush of blood was just as miraculous and satisfying as their prior experiences, but it somehow felt just a little bit different. Dean wasn’t sure if it was their intimate position or just the fact that his body had finally fully adjusted to the change, but there was something far more animalistic and primal this time. They were both clinging to each other as though if they let go the world would collapse.

Dean suddenly grabbed Cas’ wrists and broke the kiss. The angel’s eyes went wide, but Dean knew that if Cas didn’t want this to happen, it wouldn’t. He pushed Cas backwards and pinned his wrists against the mattress on either side of his head. The wings fully disappeared into the bed, but he could see them out of the corners of his eyes spread out wide across the floor. They were trembling and flaring with each breath Cas made.

Dean partially retracted his teeth and captured Castiel’s mouth in another hungry kiss. His hands released Cas’ wrists and desperately reached for the angel’s belt and zipper. In the process he popped the button off the angel’s pants and may have even ripped some of the cloth, but he didn’t stop to examine the damage that had been done. Instead, he pulled Cas pants off with such force that the angel’s shoes got tangled in the garment and discarded on the floor along with it.

When Dean climbed back on top of Castiel he paused and snapped his teeth back in. It was a moment of clarity amidst the frantic animalistic instincts that were consuming him. He kept telling himself that if Cas wanted to stop he could easily fight back, so there was no reason to hold back. Absolutely none. But the urges were overwhelming even for him and he was actually scared of it all. His unnecessary breathing became disjointed and frantic and he was on the verge of pulling back.

Castiel sensed his sudden unease and lifted up slightly off the bed to kiss him. Meanwhile his hands ventured down to Dean’s jeans and he fumbled with the button and zipper. Cas had only ever used his own zipper a couple of times during his brief stint as a human, but he managed to work the mechanism down easily and push Dean's pants down as far as he could reach. Dean helped push them even further down until he was free of them, aroused and dripping with pre-cum.

Dean suddenly realized that he didn’t have any lube nearby. This turn of events wasn’t something he planned and all of his toiletries were in the bathroom down the hall. But he was far too desperate to stop the process so he settled for slicking up his fingers with as much saliva as he could produce. With their kiss broken Cas began to whisper Dean’s name over and over again in a desperate plea for him to continue. Dean responded by inserting his first digit in one smooth motion. It was quicker than he’d intended, but Cas reacted favorably to the intrusion by gasping and suddenly flaring of his wing.

Dean broke the kiss and trailed kisses across Cas’ cheek, across his jaw, and down to his neck. The wound was already healed, but there was still a large amount of blood on his skin where the injury had been. Dean licked at the blood as he continued to work Cas loose with his finger.  Soon he added a second. Then a third. He relished ever little movement Cas made beneath him and every whimper that came out of him.

When he felt that Castiel was ready to move on he sat up intending to prepare himself to enter him, but instead he froze. Cas’ wings had come up from their position on the floor and were hovering on either side of them, once again cutting him off from the rest of the room. It was just him and Cas and the mattress below them. The wings fluttered as Dean stared at them and he looked back down to meet the angel’s eyes.

“Dean…” he said as he reached up and touched his cheek.

Dean eventually felt the courage to continue.   He thought it was rather funny that he was the hesitant one in this scenerio, but there was a lot of new elements to this he just had to take a moment sometimes to take it in.  He reached down to smear the pre-cum across his swollen head, but he knew he’d need more lubrication.  He unceremoniously spit in his hand and spread it across the rest of his cock, stroking a few times in the process. Castiel watched him do this, taking in every little motion and filing it away for later use. His knowledge about sex was limited and he wanted to pay attention to the details as best he could. He hoped this wouldn’t be his only experience, but he was willing to let Dean be the one to decide that. And if he knew Dean, he’d be perfectly ok with that.

He looked back up into Dean’s eyes and was instantly struck by how dark they were. He’d never seen someone in such a state of arousal before and he was taken aback by the pure lust struck expression on his face. Castiel wondered if he looked like that too. Sometimes he still had trouble picturing what he looked like in his vessel even though it had been entirely his since his first resurrection. When he imagined his own lust laden face he blushed.   He was terribly curious about what he looked like just then.

Then Dean pushed Cas’ legs apart and positioned himself at his entrance. When Dean pushed into him Castiel cried out and knocked his head back. Dean barely managed to keep his eyes open to watch the angel losing himself beneath him. Cas didn’t have as much will power in that department, though, and squeezed his eyes shut as Dean buried himself inside him. It was almost too much. _Almost._

When Dean bottomed out Cas screamed his name. Dean paused and ran his hand through Cas’ hair reassuringly. “You alright?”

The angel opened his eyes momentarily and nodded. “Y-yes. “

Castiel lifted his head off the mattress and kissed Dean gently on the lips again, another plea for him to continue. He wrapped his arms around Dean and then did the same with his wings. Dean shuddered at the contact, unable to believe how soft and warm they felt against his cold hard skin.  Dean pulled out slightly and slammed back into him. Cas’ grip on him tightened, both with his arms and wings, and Dean paused to gauge his reaction. Cas’ eyes were closed again and his head was tilted back exposing his bloodied neck to him. Dean leaned down and licked the remaining mess as he pulled out and pushed in again.

Together they set a rhythm that was fast, but even and steady. Dean hadn’t felt so human since that night back in Limestone and Cas, well, he’d never felt as human as he did in that moment. And yet, there they were cocooned in Castiel’s wings with blood stained lips and only one heartbeat between the two of them. They were both breathing heavily even though neither of them had the need. At this point they were both running on instincts that neither of them understood and nothing else mattered, but being able to give into them.

Castiel came first screaming Dean's name as he dug his nails deep into Dean’s skin. Dean came just a moment later and they both froze as their orgasms reverberated through their bodies. When they were both completely spent Dean collapsed onto the angel in a heap of worn out limbs. They were both again panting heavily again, tapping into muscle memories that their human bodies had long ago stored.

It didn’t take long for Dean to fall asleep wrapped securely in Castiel’s wings. And the angel fell asleep just a few minutes later, the first time he’d had the urge to do so since before the apocalypse.


	10. Chapter 10

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In a last ditch effort to get Sam’s soul back, Dean concocts a plan to summon Death.

Dean was sitting on a pier dipping his feet into the cool lake water below him. The sun was warm on his skin and he took in a deep breath of the warm summer air. In the distances he could hear cicadas buzzing and the occasional chirping of a bird, but beyond that there was only silence. It was the most idyllic place he could imagine.

When Castiel showed up beside him he got the sinking feeling that something wasn’t quite right. First of all, he could see Cas’ wings and the realization that he was, in fact, a vampire now hit him like a ton of bricks. So the warm sunlight on his skin could only mean…

“I’m dreaming aren’t I?”

“Yes.”

“What’s with the dream walking?”

“I need to return to Heaven. I didn’t want to leave without telling you, but I did not want to wake you.”

“Well, that’s…” weird, slightly creepy, utterly bizarre, “… kind of sweet, actually.”

“Don’t hesitate to pray,” he said as he kissed the hunter gently on the forehead.  
-

When Dean woke up a couple hours later he was lying face down on bed sheets that were still warm from Castiel’s body heat. The angel had even made sure to pull up the sheets over him. The alternative was waking up cold and alone and that was just not fun at all.  He was glad at least understood how rude it was to skip out on the person you just slept with. Not that Dean hadn't done that before, but... this was different.

Dean ventured downstairs and joined Bobby in the living room. The older hunter had a dozen books open on the coffee table and he looked like he was in desperate need of a good night’s rest. When he spotted Dean coming through the door he turned a book around to give him a better view.

“This incantation right here will summon your reaper,” he said as he pointed to the page.

“’My reaper,’” Dean repeated. “So Tessa is, like, assigned to me?”

“Yep, lucky her,” he said with an eye roll.

“Ok, but I can’t see her unless I’m dead.” Bobby narrowed his eyes at him and then Dean realized how ridiculous that statement was. “Oh, right… Ok, so we get Tessa here, then what?”

“Ask to speak to Death.”

“Think that’ll work?”

“I don’t know. Got a better idea?”

“Not exactly.”

It was a crazy plan, but it was the best chance they had. But before they even tried to summon Death to Bobby’s house, Dean wanted to get Sam the hell away from the Campbell’s. He knew it was going to be an overwhelming experience for his brother and he wanted to be the one to help him through it. As far as he was concerned, the Campbell’s had no right being his brother’s caretaker. At least not his real brother. Not the one with a soul.  
-

“Your plan, it’s incredibly ill-advised,” Cas said as he leaned against the wall of the panic room.

“Yeah, but it’s all we’ve got. You can’t bust into the cage, right?”

“No, but…”

“Then we’re doing this.”

“What do you need me for, then?”

“I need you to get Sam. Or whatever that soulless thing is that’s wearing Sam’s face. I need him here.”

“Dean, I can’t find him. He’s…”

“I know, rib markings, I know that, but you can call him on the phone and ask where he is.”

“He knows I’m standing with you, Dean. I doubt he’ll even pick up the phone.”

“Try.” Cas could tell by the look on Dean’s face that he wasn’t going to budge.

He pulled out his phone and for the few seconds it took for Sam to answer he glared at Dean. “Hi, Sam. Where are you? Uh… it’s urgent…. Yes, I am aware your brother is a vampire.” Cas shrugged at Dean and looked incredibly confused by Sam's insistence on the subject. Dean held back a laugh at the pitiful look on his face. Poor guy was never very good at the art of conversation. “You need to tell me where you are.” Cas was obviously getting impatient with whatever bullshit Sam was giving him over the phone. “Tell me where you are Sam! NOW! I will not ask again!”

Dean grinned like a fool when Cas went all Righteous Angel of the Lord on someone and, strangely, was even a little turned on by it. However, this was not exactly an appropriate moment for that so Dean put his head back into the game. Get Sam back. Get his soul back. Put the two together.

“I’ll be right there,” the angel said. Castiel disappeared a second later.

Dean looked back at Bobby, who was leaning against the door to the panic room. “You ready for this?”

“No,” Bobby said gruffly.

“Yeah, me neither.”

When Castiel reappeared with Sam the mood dramatically shifted. “What the hell Cas !” Sam was already shoving Cas off of him and stumbling away. After a few short steps he bumped into the bed in the middle of the panic room and nearly fell over on top of it. When he regained his balance he spotted Dean and pulled out a knife. Cas grabbed his hand and squeeze until he dropped the weapon on the floor. “OW! Cas! He’s a vampire!”

“You’ve made that abundantly clear, Sam,” Cas said. “But he has a soul. You do not.”

“And what, that makes you take his side?”

“Mostly,” the angel said as he crossed the room and stood beside Dean. “Among other things.”

Sam laughed a shallow, soulless laugh and rubbed his sore hand. “Right. ‘Profound bond.’ Whatever. You’re on the wrong side of this fight, Cas.”

Before Castiel could respond Dean was crossing the room towards his brother. “Ok, we get it, you don’t like me anymore. I’m crushed,” he said as he put his hand over his heart mockingly. “But I’m getting back your soul whether you like it or not.”

“No offense, but I’m not going to let a vampire dictate my future.”

“What about a human? Or an angel?” He stood directly in front of Sam, inches away from him. “I’m pretty sure of the four things standing in this room your judgment sucks the most. Doesn’t matter what you are. Without a soul your decision making skills are complete crap!”

The room grew uncomfortably silent as Sam and Dean stared at each other. All Cas and Bobby could do in that moment was stand by and watch as the two brothers struggled through their silent battle of wills. The silence was deafening, but Sam took it upon himself to cut through it. “I’m not letting you touch me, Dean.”

That was that, then. Dean overpowered Sam and shoved him back against the hard metal wall. Castiel was in front of Sam instantly and tapped two fingers to his temple. Once again Cas didn’t bother trying to break Sam’s fall. As long as Sam was soulless, he didn’t really care too much about his physical well-being. Dean was right. The Sam they knew was in the pit with Michael and Lucifer. This wasn’t him.   This was nothing, but an empty vessel.

After they placed Sam on the bed they went upstairs. Bobby had laid out everything for the incantation, which wasn’t much more than a few pieces of incense and some burning sage.  The only thing left to do was the cite the incantation.

“Thanks for everything, Cas,” Dean said. The angel nodded and Dean stared at him awkwardly for a minute. “You don’t have to be here for the next part. I know you’ve got shit to do.”

“I would like to stay. You are summoning Death, Dean. I will not let you do that alone.”

“Bobby’ll be here.  I'll be fine,” Dean said with a smirk.

“I do not mean to disparage Bobby, but there is little he can do in this situation.”

Bobby laughed. “No offense taken. I can’t even see the guy.”

Dean reached out and took Castiel’s hand. He wasn’t sure if Bobby was aware of the changed circumstances in their relationship, but at that moment he didn’t really care. Bobby was a smart man. He’d figure it out. “And I don’t mean to ‘disparage’ you, Cas, but Death is one of the few things out there that’s more powerful than you. I don’t think there’s much you can do either.”

“You are right,” Cas said with a sigh. “I am no match for Death, but your soul is my responsibility. I would like to be present as you face a potential threat.” He was taken back slightly by the ‘responsibility’ part, but when Cas added a “please” at the end, he couldn’t resist his request.

“Fine. Stay, but you don’t have to.”

Dean and Bobby looked at each other and nodded in agreement. Now was the time to do it. Dean took his position in the middle of Bobby’s living room. His Latin had improved incredibly in the past few years and he was able to rattle off the syllables as though he were fluent. He wasn’, thought. He didn’t understand 99% of what he was saying, so it was even more surprising was that he had memorized the incantation perfectly.

As soon as he uttered the last syllable he heard a familiar voice from the doorway. “Dean? What the hell?”

“Tessa, long time no see.” Dean turned and greeted his reaper with a smile.

Bobby could only see Dean, but he knew that it was happening. He took a seat in a chair in the corner of the room and prepared for one of the strangest encounters he’d ever had in his life. Castiel, however, flexed his wings and demanded the reapers attention. She looked at him for a moment, but Dean was the one that summoned her and she only really wanted to speak to him. Tessa didn’t care much for angels or demons anyway and she’d prefer to avoid dealing with them if possible.

“I was in the Sudan. What’s with yanking me… why are you a vampire?”

“Long story. Look, I need a favor.”

“You’re kidding me.”

“Tell your boss I need to talk to him.”

“No.” She crossed her arms.

“Please?”

“Where do you get the nerve?”

“Desperate times,” Dean said with a shrug.

“He calls us. We don’t call him.”

“You make an exception.”

“I can’t.”

“Can’t or won’t?”

“Both.”

“Alright Tessa, thank you very much,” a familiar and altogether frightening voice said from the hallway. When Death emerged Dean felt a chill run down his spine and his first instinct was the get the hell out of there. This was not a creature to be trifled with, but he had a mission and he had to stay. “Hello, Dean.”

Castiel fanned out his wings and took a step towards Dean. Death casually walked by Castiel and scoffed. “You brought your guard dog, how lovely.” He spotted Bobby sitting awkwardly in the corner. “And an audience of sorts.  What a fabulous little party.” When his eyes finally settled on Dean his instinct to run got even stronger. “I’m busy, talk fast.”

“I have something of yours.”

“You mean my ring? I recall loaning you that temporarily.”

“If you want it back…”

“Excuse me,” Death interrupted. “You assume that I don’t know where you’ve hidden it. Now that we’ve established that you have hubris, but no leverage what is it that you want?”

Dean swallowed hard and jumped into the situation head first. “Lucifer’s cage. You are one of the few people that can jailbreak it.”

“I am.”

“Sam’s soul is stuck in that box.”

“I’ve heard.”

“And my other brother, Adam, is in there too. Michael rode him in.”

“Dean, quit shuffling and deal.”

“I want you to get them both out.”

“Pick one.”

Dean paused and raised his eyebrows, confused. “What?”

“Sam’s soul or Adam’s. As a rule I don’t bring people back. I might make an exception once, but not twice.”

“Sam’s,” Dean said without hesitation. He felt horrible for making the decision so easily. Adam had done nothing to deserve his fate, but it was the only answer he had. “His soul has been in there a year and I understand that it’s… damaged.”

“Try filleted. It’s a raw nerve.”

“Well, is there any way that you could, I don’t know, hack the Hell part off?”

“Dean Dean Dean… what do you think the soul is? Some pie you can slice? The soul can be bludgeoned and tortured, but never broken, not even by me.”

“There’s got to be something…”

“Maybe. I can’t erase Sam’s Hell, but I can put it behind a wall, if you will.”

“A wall?”

“In his mind. A dam to hold back the tide. Nasty, those memories. You don’t want to know what they’ll do to him. Believe me.”

“Ok, a wall, sounds good.”

“But it’s not permanent,” Tessa chimed in.

“She’s right. Nothing lasts forever,"  Death said.  "Well, I do.”

“Ok, so that’s the choice. Sam with no soul or Sam with some drywall that, if and when it collapses he’s… done.”

“Yeah.”

Dean exhaled. “Do it.”

“I never said I’d do it.”

“Then what the hell we been talking about,” he snapped.

“Your prize. If you win the wager.”

“Great,” Dean said as he rolled his eyes. “What’s the bet?”

“Don’t roll your eyes, Dean. It’s impolite.”

Castiel had stepped closer to Dean during the conversation and was now just inches away from him. Death glanced at him momentarily, which made his wings twitch. There wasn’t much in the world that frightened Cas, but Death was definitely one of them. Sometimes he wondered if Dean realized just how powerful the creature actually was. If he did, he might not cop such an attitude. Then again, Dean had been copping Cas an attitude since the moment they met in the barn and angels were pretty damn powerful too. Maybe that was just Dean being Dean.

“Be me for a day, Dean.”

“Are you serious?"

“No, I'm being incredibly sarcastic,” Death said with not the slightest hint of emotion in his face. Dean would laugh if he wasn’t scared out of his mind. “Go get the ring and put it on. Take the ring off before the 24 hours are up, and you lose. No soul for Sam. Clear?”

Dean nodded, but Cas interrupted him. “Dean, I don’t think this is-“

“Quiet your guard dog, Dean,” Death said. Castiel froze when Death looked him in the eye. “You are not invited on this little adventure, angel. Sit this one out or the deal is off.”

Death and Tessa disappeared and Dean knew exactly what he had to do. “Bobby, I need a shovel.”


	11. Chapter 11

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dean plays Death for a day in an attempt to earn back Sam’s soul. Unfortunately, there’s a catch.

After he dug the ring up from Bobby’s yard he slid it on. The second the ring was comfortably on his finger he was transported to some non-descript dark alley that just screamed trouble. It was poorly lit and dirty and was asking for crime. He could almost predict what his first assignment was going to be. _Almost._

When he turned around he saw Tessa casually leaning against the dingy brick wall. “Wow. They'll just let any slack-jawed haircut be Death these days.”

“Well, you're all charm today, aren't you?”

“Let's be clear so that we get through this with a minimum of screw-up. I don't like this. And right now, I'm not crazy about you, either.”

“This is your boss' idea, not mine.”

“True. But you have a long history of throwing a wrench in everything, so let's just stick to the rules. Deal?”

Dean raised his eyebrows. “Ok, and the rules are?”

“For the next 24 hours, you kill everyone whose number's up.”

“Well, how am I supposed to know who to...” He trailed off and gestured with his hands, not wanting to actually say the word out loud.

“Kill?” Of course a reaper had no problem with the word.

“Yeah.”

“I have a list.”

“Let me see.”

“No,” she said as she folded her arms defiantly. “You touch them, they die, I reap them. Are we clear?”

“Yeah… I guess.”

“Remove the ring, you lose. Slack off, you lose. Got it?”

“Yeah.”

“Don't mess this up. It's not my job to be your damn babysitter.” She pushed herself up off the wall and started walking deeper into the alleyway. Dean followed close behind, scanning the area for any sign of trouble. “Just so you know, when people die, they might have questions for you. Well, you know, not you, but Death.”

“You mean like, ‘how did Betty White outlast me?’”

“’What's it all mean?’ is popular.”

“And am I just gonna magically know?”

“No,” she said with a laugh.

“Then what the hell am I supposed to say? Give me something.”

“Suck it up. Comes with the gig.” She stopped at the intersection of two alleyways. “Your first job will be here any second.”

Dean instantly smelled another vampire and his eyes went wide. “Wait, I’m not… I’m not reaping a vampire victim, am I?”

“Just wait. You’ll see.”

“Fuck this,” he was tempted to pull the ring off right then, but the thought of his brother suffering in Hell kept him from doing so.

“Want to take it off?” Tessa said as she watched him fiddle with the piece of jewelry. Dean just growled in response. This was going to suck horribly. He could tell that much already.

When a young couple came running around the corner giggling and groping at each other he knew instantly which one was the vampire. Not only could he see the blood pumping underneath the woman’s skin, but the man actually made eye contact with him and Tessa momentarily before he resumed his predatory behavior. The asshole looked like trouble even if he weren’t a vampire due to the tattoos up his arm and tattered dark clothing. This man was not someone you’d want to follow into a dark alley on any occasion.

Suddenly the woman pulled a knife from the back of her jeans and stabbed the vampire in the throat. She kicked the injured creature to the ground and tore the knife from him in one abrupt motion. The creature reached for the wound in a desperate attempt to stop the bleeding.

“What the fuck,” Dean said, completely taken by surprise. “A hunter? Seriously?”

“Touch him,” Tessa instructed.

“Wait, he’s suffering, right?”

“Yes, touch him” she said forcefully.

“Give me a minute.”

The woman was about to set to work decapitating the vampire as Dean stood by and watched the creature writhe in pain. It was technically already dead, but as long as Dean didn’t touch him his soul seemed to be trapped inside its body. As far as Dean was concerned the asshole deserved a little bit of pain at the hands of the woman he was going to try to kill. Then the creature made eye contact with Dean and seemed to be pleading with him to get the job done. Seconds before the woman finished the job he’d finally determined that the creature had suffered enough. He bent down and touched the vampire.

“The fuck was that about, asshole?” The newly ejected soul was glaring at Dean with contempt from across the room. “Shoulda known it was my time when a reaper showed up smelling like a vampire. That shit ain’t normal, man. But I didn’t realize you’d be such a dickwad about it.”

“He’s not a reaper,” Tessa interjected. “He’s just a substitute for Death today. I’m your reaper.”

Meanwhile the woman bent over and tore a tooth out of the vampire's lifeless body. The soul tried not to look at the activity, but the desecration of the corpse obviously disturbed him. He took his eyes away from it long enough to stare at Dean. “Substitute for Death? Yeah, well, he’s a lousy substitute.”

“Have fun in Purgatory,” Dean snapped.

Tessa took the soul and guided him away from Dean. The hunter added a new tooth to her already sizeable collection and Dean stared at her as she prepared to clear the scene. He’d known hunters like her before. They’d focus on one species alone and let their entire lives revolve around it. Typically they’d focus on vampires since they were so common in the past few years. To Dean this death had been a good thing. He only wished he could have been the one to do it.  
-

The second task as Death started similarly to the first. A male vampire lured an unsuspecting young woman into an apartment that was only slightly classier than the dark alleyway. There were empty beer bottles and dirty laundry everywhere and the room smelled like mold and death. He wondered just how many people had died in this bachelor pad from hell. The smell was faint, so it’d probably been weeks since there was a body there, but it didn’t look like it’d be much longer before another one was added to the list.

Dean watched as the gothy looking jerk pressed the equally gothy looking girl into the couch. This girl, however, was not a hunter and as soon as the vampire released his teeth her fate was sealed. She struggled against him as he covered her mouth to block her screams and brutally bit into her neck. Dean watched helplessly from across the room thinking about how this was the last thing he wanted to see. This is what he was afraid he was going to see the first time and he hoped he’d dodged a bullet.

“Why?”

Dean turned to the woman’s soul and found himself at a loss for words. “I… I don’t know.”

Tessa stepped forward and took the woman’s hand. “It was your time.”

“But I’m only twenty. I’m in school. I… My mom was coming to visit this weekend…”

“I know, honey,” Tessa said with an apologetic smile. “But it was your time.”

“Where… where am I going? Am I going to Heaven?”

“I wouldn’t want to ruin the surprise.”

Of course that line was never comforting to anyone, but it was all Tessa had to offer. She led the girl away and into whatever fate awaited her soul while Dean watched the vampire casually wipe the blood off of his face. He even had the audacity to lick his lips as he did so.

“How can you not care,” Dean said.

The vampire paused and turned toward him. “What, are you new on the job or something?”

“You can see her soul getting reaped and you don’t care?”

“It’s not that I don’t care! It’s that I can’t care. She dies or I starve to death. It’s necessary.”

Tessa returned and grabbed Dean’s arm. “We don’t usually talk with them, Dean. Leave him alone.”

“No! He just murdered that girl and he doesn’t even give a shit! The least he deserves is to get yelled at. I should kill him myself.”

The vampire looked down at Dean’s ring that he was fiddling with again. “What, is this some sort of training exercise? How does this reaper thing work anyway? You guys get a new guy and have to show him-”

“Shut up,” Dean growled.

“His name isn’t on the list, Dean.”

Tessa took his hand and tried to lead Dean away from the grizzly scene. That was no easy task, though, as he refused to take his eyes off the other vampire. He wanted to destroy it, but he wanted to save his brother more, so he reluctantly followed Tessa to their next task.  
-

The third location they zapped into was a quiet suburban living room. The environment itself was enough to put Dean on edge. It was far too Stepford for him. “What the fuck is this?”

Just then a teenage girl who was very clearly recently turned barged through the front door. Her boots thudded on the hardwood floor as she marched herself across the living room. She rushed right through Dean as though he weren’t even there.

“What, she can’t see us?”

“She’s newly turned. As her body adjusts we’ll become more visible to her. You didn’t see the reaper during your first kill, did you?”

Dean shook his head and watched the girl run up the stairs. Dean and Tessa followed close behind. Her first stop was a little girl’s room, who Dean could only assume was her sister. The walls were covered with Disney posters and the roof had glowing moons and stars all over it. The bedding was pink and the bedside lamp was fluffy and sparkly. His stomach dropped when he realized the poor kid couldn’t be older than eight or nine years old.

“Jessie?” The little girl blinked groggily as she sat up in bed, her blonde hair a hanging messily out of her long braid. “What going-“

“Come on Becca,” the vampire said. “Time to go.”

“She’s gonna kill the little girl,” Dean asked.

“You’ll see,” Tessa replied.

Becca grabbed her little sister by the wrist and yanked her from the bed. Becca was confused, but followed her sister willingly. They passed right through him and Tessa again as they crossed the room and the little girl shivered in response to the contact. But she didn’t have a moment to stop and adjust as the older girl was pulling her down the hallway right after that.

Dean turned to Tessa. “No, you’re telling me now! What’s going to happen?”

“Are you going to interfere?”

Dean didn’t bother providing an answer. Instead he followed the two girls as the moved down the hall towards their parents’ room. When they barged in both of the adults sat up in bed and turned on the lights.

“What’s going on,” the mother asked when she saw her two daughters standing at the foot of the bed. Jessie shoved Becca onto the bed with her parents and started to yell.

“You’ll regret how bad you treated me!”

Becca screamed when her sister unleashed her teeth. She tightened her grip onher mother as her father moved between them and held his hands up in a defensive gesture. “Hold on! Jessie!”

“I found a better family! You don’t even know!”

“I’m sorry,” Dean said as he turned towards Tessa. “I ain’t listening to some homicidal teenage hissy fit.” Dean tore the ring off and shoved it into his pocket. He then grabbed the vampire by the wrists and turned her around to face him. “You’re coming with me.” He slung the screaming teenager over his shoulder and charged out of the parent’s room. “She’s not your daughter anymore,” he shouted over his shoulder at them.    He knew that couldn't be too terrible comforting, but it was better than nothing.    Maybe.

Dean wasn’t sure where he was taking her and with the constant screaming he wasn’t going to get far. He needed to kill her. She was definitely one of the bad guys regardless of whether or not she was a vampire. The girl had murder on her mind and she needed to be stopped somehow. Then he realized how fucking stupid he was being and he unceremoniously dropped her on the couch. He slipped the ring back on and touched her.

Jessie’s soul was immediately next to him crying. “Why?!”

“Because you were about to murder your family! You deserved a far more gruesome death, honestly.”

“But they were mean to me!”

“Yeah, not letting you stay out past 8:00pm on a school night it totally worthy of being murdered!”

The girl began to cry, but Dean didn't have any sympathy for her.   She was a monster, even as a human.  Nothing the parents could have done would have justified the murder of the entire family.   The little girl hadn't been old enough to even fathom a crime worthy of such brutality.  She was a kid.   An innocent.  Tessa appeared and tried to lead the girl’s soul from the room.

"Have fun in Purgatory!” he shouted as the girl was escorted from the room.  
-

Dean sat on the family’s porch watching as police officers and paramedics rushed into the home. Tessa took a seat beside him on the stoop.

“Well, I lost.”

“Sorry about your brother.”

“Yeah, well, I’ll just figure something else out…”

Dean tensed when he hear a call coming over the radio. “Two car accident on Walnut Avenue. Four, possibly five persons involved. One fatality…”

“The ambulance that’s here was supposed to be the first one the scene,” Tessa said. “Only one person would have died. Now three of them will. One of them is a teenager. He was going to go on and do great things, live for another sixty years, have two children and five grandchildren. He was going to be an English professor, write a book…”

“Ok, ok, I get it. Who was going to die here tonight?”

“It was always going to be Jessie. She was going to attack Becca and her father was going to defend the family by killing her. The whole series of events would have last for more than ten minutes. It was going to be a long and bloody battle, but she was always going to be the one to die tonight.”

“I saved that little girl from having to see her father kill her sister. That’s something.”

“But there are dominos falling all over the place now, Dean. You removed two souls from the equation. You don’t know how far that’ll reach. You’ve disturbed the natural order of things.”

“I take it that can’t be fixed.”

“No, not by us. It’s out of our hands now.”

Dean stood up from the stoop and watched as the paramedics exited the house and rushed to their ambulance. They weren’t going to make it to the scene in time and it was his fault. “Just take me back to Bobby’s…”  
-

Dean quickly explained the situation to Bobby, leaving out the horrible details of that final death, and immediately went to the kitchen to retrieve a couple of beers. Of course Bobby had more questions, but there was no reason they couldn’t continue the conversation over some alcohol. The situation certainly called for it. When he rounded the corner he came to a grinding halt. There was Death sitting at the kitchen table. “Hello, Dean.”

“Look... I think you know that I flunked. So there. Oh, and by the way, I, uh...I sucked at being you. Really screwed up the whole natural order thing. But I'm sure you knew about that, too.”

“So, if you could go back, would you simply let that scene play out? No fuss, no stomping your feet?”

“Knowing what I know now, yeah.”

“I'm surprised to hear that. Surprised and glad.”

“Yeah, well, don't get excited. I would have saved those people in the car accident, okay? That's it.”

“I think it's a little more than that. Today, you got a hard look behind the curtain. Wrecking the natural order's not quite such fun when you are aware of the consequences, is it?” Death studied his face for a moment and then leaned forward against the table. “This is hard for you, Dean. You throw away your life because you've come to assume that it'll bounce right back into your lap. But the human soul is not a rubber ball. It's vulnerable, impermanent, but stronger than you know. And more valuable than you can imagine. So... I think you've learned something today.”

“Want to know what I think? I think you knew that I wouldn't last a day.”

“I have no idea what you're talking about,” Death said as he stood up from the table.

“I lost. Fine. But at least have the balls to admit that it was rigged from the jump,” Dean said.

Death walked up to him and stood an away well within his personal space. “Most people speak to me with more respect.”

Dean felt a very rare surge of fear paralyze him and he found himself stumbling for the right words. “I didn't mean --

“We're done here,” Death said as he walked towards the door. “It's been lovely. But now I'm going to go to hell to get your brother's soul.”

“Why would you do that for me?”

“I wouldn't do it for you,” Death said as he stopped and turned in the doorway. “You and your brother keep coming back. You're an affront to the balance of the universe, and you cause disruption on a global scale.”

“I apologize for that,” Dean said.

“But you have use. Right now, you're digging at something. The intrepid Detective. I want you to keep digging, Dean.”

“So you're just gonna be cryptic, or...”

“It's about the souls. You'll understand when you need to,” he said as he turned and prepared to leave.

“Wait… with Sam... Is this wall thing really gonna work?”

“Call it 75%.”

Death disappeared and he heard Sam start to scream from down in the basement. Dean shouted for Bobby and rushed to the panic room just in time to see Death cornering his brother in the panic room. Death was holding Sam’s bright and glowing soul in his hand as he approached his brother. Then reached out and crammed it into his Sam’s chest. Death disappeared and Sam fell unconscious onto the panic room floor… again.


	12. Chapter 12

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sam has his soul back, but is lying unconscious in Bobby’s panic room. Castiel tries to provide some comfort for Dean. When Sam wakes up they have to skirt the line between telling him what he needs to know and avoiding scratching the wall that Death has put up. Unfortunately he needs to know that Dean is now a vampire.

Dean stood outside the panic room idly running his fingers over the handprint mark on his shoulder through the fabric of his t-shirt. It was a nervous gestured he’d developed over the past few years as a way of reminding himself that Castiel was out there somewhere. He wasn’t sure how the habit developed, but by the time he’d noticed it, it’d become an automatic reaction to tense situations that he had no control over. At that moment Cas was inside the panic room giving his brother an angel cavity search, which didn’t really look like a pleasant experience. He only hoped Sam’s unconsciousness would help block out most of the pain. But then there was the matter of what Cas would find.

When Castiel emerged from the room he let go of the mark and approached him. “Well?”

“His soul is in place,” he said as he rolled down his sleeve and buttoned the cuff.

“Is he ever gonna wake up?”

“I'm not a human doctor, Dean,” Cas sighed.

“Could you take a guess?”

“Ok,” he said as he looked up into Dean’s pitifully worried eyes. It broke his heart to see Dean in such pain, but he respected him enough to tell the truth about his brother’s circumstances. “Probably not.”

“Oh, well, don't sugarcoat it,” Dean said with grunt.

“I'm sorry, Dean, but I warned you about what could happen if you put his soul back inside him.”

“Yeah, you warned me, but this is better than having his soul tortured in Hell forever. At least he has a shot up here.”

“I’m sorry, Dean,” he said. Cas could tell he was trying his best to hold back tears. He hadn’t meant to be so abrasive, but it was the truth. Dean deserved the truth even if it hurt. Castiel took the hunter in his arms and pulled him close. He draped his wings around him, curtaining him off from the room and closing them off into a world of nothing but each other. Dean wrapped his own arms around Cas, unintentionally resting his hand against one of the angel’s wings in the process. He jerked his hand away at the contact and found a less feathery place on his back to place his hand.

“Why do you do that,” Cas whispered softly into his ear.

“Do what?” Dean knew damn well what he meant, but he didn’t want to talk about it. He hoped Cas would drop the subject.

“Act so afraid of my wings.”

Dean pulled back from the embrace slightly and looked at the feathery appendages that were hovering just inches away from them. “I’m not afraid of them. I just… uh, don’t want to… taint them or whatever.”

“Dean, I held you with them as we had sex.”

“Uh,” Bobby muttered from the stairwell. Cas moved one wing aside so that they could see him standing awkwardly halfway down the stairs. He looked horribly uncomfortable. “I’m gonna just be upstairs… if you need anything.” He turned and fled the area. Dean laughed, but when Cas moved his wings around them again he froze.

“You couldn’t ‘taint’ them Dean. I’ve told you many times it is not what you are, but who you are that’s important…”

“So a vampire touching your wings is no big deal?”

“The _Righteous Man_ touching my wings is an _honor_.”

Dean was stunned at that statement and struggled to find the right words. He really had no idea what to say to that. “You still think of me that way,” he finally stammered out.

“Always,” Cas said as he pulled him into a kiss. Dean hesitantly let his hand rest on his back right where the wings disappeared into the trench coat. It was a bizarre sensation feeling both objects as solid matter, yet feeling them pass right through each other on two different planes of existence. He wanted to someday see where they met the vessel, but right now was not the time. Right now he was overwhelmed with the thoughts of his brother lying lifeless in the next room.

Dean pulled away from the kiss and looked down at the floor. He was crying now and Cas gently brushed his thumb across his cheek to clear away the tears that he’d accidently let escape from his eyes. Dean squeezed them shut in an attempt to hold back any others that might try to get away. Cas knew the hunter well enough to know this wasn’t a proud moment for him. He hated being emotionally vulnerable and seemed to try to avoid it whenever possible. But it was here and they had to deal with it.

“Dean?” He opened his eyes and reluctantly looked up from the floor. “Would you like to go upstairs and get some whiskey?”  
-

Bobby had already pulled a bottle of Jack Daniel’s out of the cabinet and had started to drink away his own problems. When Dean spotted the bottle he immediately picked it up and drank straight from it. When he’d consumed over half of its contents he sat down and handed the bottle to Cas, who held up his hands to decline the offer. Dean just kept holding it out staring at him and eventually the angel gave in and took the bottle from him. To everyone’s surprise the reluctant drinker finished off the rest of the alcohol in one long drag.

Bobby had only had five or six shots, but he was well on his way to being plastered while Dean and Cas were barely even buzzed. This was one of Dean’s least favorite parts of being a supernatural creature. Alcohol just wasn’t as effective anymore and he knew he was going to be spending way more money on it than he ever had before. And he’d probably never get as absolutely smashed as he was when the apocalypse was approaching. Those were the days.

“So,” Bobby began. “How long you two been screwin’?”

Dean nearly choked, completely blindsided by the question. “Since yesterday. What’s it to you?”

“Really? Thought for sure you two were together long before the apocalypse.”

Dean blinked a few times, unsure of what to make of Bobby’s drunken rambling. “What?”

“Yeah, angels don’t just fall from Heaven for nothing.”

“I rebelled against Heaven because Dean was right,” Cas interjected. “Not because of my feelings toward him as a person.”

“But you loved him back then, didn’t ya?”

Cas didn’t say anything to that. He just looked over to Dean for a moment before meeting Bobby’s eyes again. Dean could sense his hesitation when talking about his feelings that he probably didn’t even really understand all that well and decided to jump in to save him from the struggle. “Bobby, why you suddenly Oprah-ing it up? Didn’t know you to be a chick-flicky drunk.”

“Well, why the hell not? You and Sam are the closest thing I’ve got to a family. And Sam’s unconscious and hooked up to an IV in the basement so you’re all I got. I deserve to know who the in-laws are… I don’t want to hear the details, but if I’ve got an angel as a son-in-law, well, I have a right to know.”

Neither one of them were very good at talking about this shit, but it was a relief that it was at least out in the open. It was an unexpected moment, but certainly welcomed. They hadn’t even really verbalized their feelings towards one another yet. Instead they’d just let their instincts take over and it’d somehow led to this. What ‘this’ was they hadn’t bothered to name or even really talk about. Apparently all it took to get it out there was getting Bobby really drunk and letting him ramble for a couple of minutes.

Their thoughts were interrupted, however, when Dean heard Sam’s feet hit the floor down in the panic room. Castiel’s own supernatural senses seemed to have picked up the same thing as he was staring wide eyed at Dean. The two of them got up and ran downstairs with Bobby running close behind.

When they got to the bottom of the stairs Sam was just opening the door to the panic room and stepping out into the cluttered basement. He was holding his sides as though he’d been violently dropped to the floor repeatedly over the span of a few days and he looked like he was about to topple over at any second. Once he spotted his three friends stumbling down the stairs he smiled, but suddenly grimaced when a spark of pain ran through his side.

“Dean,” Sam mumbled. “What happened?”

“Sam!” Dean ran across the room and bear hugged his brother. Sam was still unsteady on his feet, but he managed to grip the doorframe to keep from falling over. After a moment Dean released his brother from the hug and reluctantly stepped aside to let Bobby have a turn at the extraordinary unmanly display of affection. Machismo be damned, Sam was back!

“Good to see you,” the older hunter said as he pulled Sam in for a hug. And damn, Bobby’s grip was tight. Sam grunted in pain as the hunter squeezed a fresh bruise on his arm.

Castiel remained in the center of the room watching the boys hug it out, but when Sam let Bobby go and started walking towards him he knew he was going to get pulled into one too. Sam’s long arms wrapped around him and he hugged the angel as if his life depended on it. Physical displays of friendship were a completely foreign concept to Castiel. The only person he’d embraced was Dean and he knew enough about human culture to understand that a hug between a lover and a friend were completely different things. He’d seen Bobby slap Sam on the back a couple of times, so he awkwardly mimicked the action and hoped it adequately conveyed his feelings. Apparently it did, because Sam returned the slaps on the back and laughed.

“Did you do this?” Sam asked when he released the angel from the hug.

“No, I couldn’t,” he said regretfully. “I would have if it were possible.”

“Who did?” Castiel let his eyes wander over to Dean, unsure of how much he wanted to actually tell his brother. Sam looked at Dean then, trying to figure out the awkward unspoken exchange between the two. His first thought was that he sold his soul again, but there was no way Cas would have let him do that. “What’d you do, Dean?”

“Uh… well… me and Death—“

“Death?! The horseman?”

“I had leverage. It's done.”

“You sure?”

“It's over. Slate's wiped.”

“Dean,” Cas interrupted. He was staring off towards the ceiling, obviously distracted by something on Angel Radio. The three other men in the room stopped and watched Cas as he listened, hoping to catch some hint of what was happening in his expression. Castiel face made stoic and moving, however, and they simply had to wait it out.

When the message had finished he turned toward Dean. “I have to go.” Dean nodded and Cas disappeared instantly.

“What’s he gotta get back to so quickly?” Sam said as he leaned against the wall to regain some of his balance.

“Cas kind of got promoted after the apocalypse.”

“What? How?”

“I think he’s kind of in charge up there now. Or something. But it’s a long and complicated story. Let’s worry about you for a minute. How are you feeling?”

“Uh, I’m starving actually.”  
-

Sam had gorged on the biggest sandwich Bobby’s kitchen could provide. When he’d finished Dean set three beers on the table and took a seat alongside his brother and Bobby. They all popped off the tops of their beers and took long well deserved drinks. Bobby was already smashed, but what was one more beer? Dean, however, was still pathetically buzzed with no sign of going much further.

“So, Sam,” Dean said as he set his half empty bottle down on the table.

“Yeah?”

“What's the last thing you remember?”

Sam thought about it for a moment, scrunching his face as though the recall of memories were painful. “The field… and then I fell.”

“Okay. And then?”

“I woke up in the panic room.”

“That's it,” Bobby asked. “You really don't remember—“

“Let's be glad,” Dean interrupted. “Who wants to remember all that hell?”

“Well, how long was I gone?”

Dean took another sip of his beer, nervous about skirting the line between telling him what he needed to know and scratching that wall. “About a year and a half.”

“What? I was downstairs… I don't remember anything.”

“Think of it as a blessing, then. Because you probably don’t want to remember it. Believe me.”

“Well, is there anything else I should know?”

“Well…” Dean hesitated. “I’m kind of… um, there was this incident…”

“Dean, what happened?”

Dean stopped, swiftly finished his drink, and looked Sam in the eye. “I’m kind of a vampire now, alright?”

“What?!” Sam stared at his brother. Dean had felt cold when he’d hugged him down in the basement, but he attributed to be disoriented after being resurrected. All of his senses were off. But this? This was entirely unexpected.

“Look, I’m still your brother, ok? I’m still a hunter…”

“Dean! How did it happen?”

“Come on Sam, you know how it works…”

“Yeah, but how’d it happen to _you_ Dean?”

“It just… it just did, ok? I wasn’t fast enough. It got me.”

“Is it dead? The one that did it to you?”

“I think so.” Dean honestly had no idea. The last he’d heard the Campbell’s had wiped out that nest. He couldn’t be sure though and, ironically enough, Sam would have probably known better than him. But that would definitely be scratching the wall and he wasn’t going to go there.

“How could you not know?”

“It wasn’t my hunt. I lost track of it after it happened.”

Sam took a long sip of his beer and slammed the empty bottle on the table. He was half angry and half confused and all together disturbed by the information. “Anything else?”

Bobby set his own beer down and laughed. “On a lighter note, remember that conversation we had back in Carthage? You know, the bet we had?”

Sam took a moment to remember. “You mean,” he pointed to Dean. Bobby nodded and Sam turned to his brother. “Really? You and Cas?”

“What the hell? Why is everyone so interested in my sex life? Christ!”

Sam playfully punched his brother in the shoulder, but he soon learned that punching a vampire was like hitting a brick wall. “Ow.”

Dean laughed. “Bitch.”

“Jerk.” Sam wasn’t entirely comfortable with his newly vamped brother, but at least he could tell that it really was him in there. He just hoped it’d be a very long time before he had to see his second set of teeth because he could tell that it was going to be an overwhelming experience. He didn’t even want to think about it.

Bobby stood up from the table. “Ok, don’t get me wrong. I’m happy you’re back Sam, but I have a case I need to get back to. You two… just talk for a while.” He finished off his drink and left the room.

For a minute or so the brothers just sat there in silence, occasionally meeting each other’s eyes and uncomfortably looking away. It was a horribly awkward reunion. They were both incredibly happy to be back together, but the situation was obviously very different now. And neither of them were quite sure how different things were going to be from here on out.

“Ok Sammy,” Dean said, slicing through the silence like a knife. “You get five questions about the whole vampire thing. Just five. The rest you just have to figure out, ok?”

Sam leaned his elbows against the table and awkwardly folded and unfolded his hands over and over again. “Ok, first of all, how long?”

“Just about two weeks.”

“Wow, that soon?”

“Yeah. That’s two questions. Three to go.”

“No, that was one.”

“Two,” Dean said, glaring his brother down. Ah hell, he might as well throw him a bone. “Ok, fine, four more.”

“Have you, uh, drunk blood?”

“Part of the territory, Sam.”

“From who?”

Dean sighed. He _really_ needed some effective alcohol. Sobriety was a pain in the ass. “The first guy was a stranger. It was, uh, an accident. Since then it’s been Cas.”

“Angel blood?”

“Yeah. One more question.”

“Two more.”

He rolled his eyes. “Fine, whatever. Two more. Cheater.”

Sam thought long and hard about his last two questions. He had a million of them, but he had to narrow it down. “What’s it like?”

“Awful. Next question.”

“Oh, come on, give me more than that. What do we actually know? Are we right? Can you… uh…”

“Hear your heartbeat? See in the dark? Smell blood from across the room? Yes, yes, and yes. Can’t eat, but I can drink. Can still fuck too, surprisingly. Thank God for small favors.”

“Did not need the mental image of you and Cas in my head, thanks.”

Dean smirked. “One more question.”

Sam sat silently again, running through the long list of things he wanted to ask. “How’d it happen?”

“You already asked that.”

“And you avoided it. I want a play by play. Where were you? Whose case was it?”

“I was working with a group of hunters…”

“Who?”

“Not important. You wouldn’t know them. We were in Illinois and I was helping track down a nest. Well, we found them and one of them overpowered me. He let his blood drip into my mouth and that was that. The rest is history. I got the fuck away from that case after that.”

Sam looked anywhere, but at Dean as he let that information sink in. When he felt he had a grasp on the situation he sighed and stood up from the table, ready to leave this topic alone for the rest of the day. “I need to take a nap. I know I’ve been asleep for a while, but I’m basically one giant bruise. I just gotta lay down.”

“Sam,” Dean said as his brother reached the door. When Sam turned around to look at him he made sure to hold eye contact with him. “I’m gonna give you a freebie. I know you didn’t ask this, but you need to know. That first person I… drank from. I killed him. It was an accident, but it happened. And you should know that. It’s only fair.”

Sam’s heart was racing. But he needed to know it. He had to know. He couldn’t keep a secret like that from his brother. Not if he wanted to hunt with him. Hunting only worked if you trusted your partner and there was no way Sam would ever trust him if he kept that a secret.

“Ok,” was all he said as he turned and finally left the room.


	13. Chapter 13

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> As Bobby and the newly souled Sam sleep, Dean takes a walk in an attempt to test out his abilities at night. Unfortunately things do not go as planned (when do they ever?).

As Sam and Bobby slept, Dean took a late night stroll through Sioux Falls hoping to navigate around town with his new senses. His ability to see in the dark was almost taken for granted now, but his sense of smell and his hearing were still far too unfamiliar to be reliable. He’d found both overwhelming when he was hungry, but the rest of the time they just seemed to be slightly enhanced and sitting idly in the background. Dean wondered if he could actually control them and since he finally had an opportunity to experiment without an impending crisis looming over his head he just had to take it.

When he passed an apartment building all the heartbeats in the area bled together into one low rumble. This was the natural state of his hearing now, but when the first pangs of bloodlust arrived they became deafening. In order to test the waters he approached one particular unit and tried to concentration on only the persons inside of it. He focused his mind on the loudest heartbeats and attempted to tune the rest out.

After a minute or so he could tell that there were three distinct heartbeats inside the apartment, one of them just a few inches away on the other side of the wall he was standing next to. He couldn’t tell where the other people were, but he knew they were a little further away. Ten feet. Maybe twenty. Hearing was definitely something he was going to need practice with, but he felt incredibly creepy lurking around in the shadows at 3:30am in a residential area listening to peoples heartbeats so he continued on.

Next up on his docket was his sense of smell. He already knew what humans smelled like. Demons too, unfortunately. And angels? Well, Cas smelled human, but there were traces of something he’d never encountered before. It was like some ancient spice, not unlike the holy oil Cas had brought back from Jerusalem, but there was something extraordinary powerful behind it. Dean wanted to say he smelled like electricity, but that would be ridiculous. How can you ‘smell’ electricity? Yet it was the only thing he could think of when trying to analyze it. He smelled powerful and dangerous and intoxicating.

As he approached the main business district of Sioux Falls he began to pick up a scent that was somewhat familiar to him, but he couldn’t identify it right off the bat. It was almost human, but not quite. He paused in the middle of the street and tried to concentrate on it. If his memory served him right, this was the scent of another vampire and Dean had to wonder what the hell it was doing South Dakota of all places. Unfortunately, his sense of smell wasn’t as easy to control. He couldn’t really pick up a trail like a bloodhound could, nor could he tell how old the smell was. For all he knew it could have been days or weeks or months since there was a vampire here.

When he passed by a closed up diner he noticed that the scent got stronger. At that same time he detected a heartbeat that was racing faster than normal and he quickly put two and two together. The diner seemed like the most likely place for the person and potential vampire, but he couldn’t see anyone from the front windows. As he maneuvered around the back of the building the scent got even more powerful and he felt like just maybe he could actually track the damn thing. Then Dean spotted the back door propped open with a metal trash can. Bingo.

It only took him one step into the kitchen to spot the young couple making out against the counter. The woman was wearing a t-shirt with the diner’s name on it while the man was douched up in some red silk button up and black pants. Really? What a tool. The woman spotted Dean first and when the man turned around Dean knew instantly that he was the vampire. There wasn’t any movement in his veins. He was frozen in time just like Dean was. Thankfully, it didn’t look like he’d attacked yet and thank God for that because Dean really couldn’t handle the smell of blood right now. He’d been concentrating too much on heartbeats for one night. He simply wouldn’t have been able to stand a second temptation.

“Sorry, I don’t share,” the vampire said with a smirk.

“I wouldn’t even share a pencil with you, buddy,” Dean said, stepping fully inside the small kitchen.

The vampire looked Dean up and down and scoffed. “Get lost, man. I was here first.”

Dean suddenly pulled a knife out of his waistband and closed the small gap between them. He pressed the blade against the creature’s throat and slammed him against the opposite wall. The girl screamed and backed away towards the door, but she remained in the room watching the scene play out before her.

“Whoa, hey, man, you can have her.” He threw his hands in the air and started laughing nervously.

“Lady, get the fuck out of here,” Dean said without breaking eye contact with the other vampire.

“But… but…” The woman was stuttering hopelessly and Dean really didn’t have time for this shit. He snapped out his second set of teeth and glared at the woman until she ran out of the kitchen screaming.

When the girl was safely out of the building he focused his attention on the pathetic monster in front of him. “Whoa, dude, what are you doing,” the other vampire choked out.

“Why are you in Sioux Falls,” Dean demanded.

“What?”

“Why here? This isn’t exactly a vampire hotspot.” Out of the corner of his eye he saw a reaper that thankfully wasn’t Tessa. He knew that probably meant he was going to end up killing the guy, which wasn’t exactly an unexpected outcome given the situation. It still felt like an unfair advantage though.

“I’m just passing through town. I’m not staying I swear. Not trying to get in your space-”

“Why are you passing through, exactly?”

“Because it’s what he wanted.”

“’He,’” Dean repeated.

“Yeah, the guy from our visions.” Dean could only deduce that he was talking about the Alpha. But even if it wasn’t, weird psychic dreams weren’t something you just ignore.

“Tell me everything!” Dean slammed him back into the wall again, laughing internally as the vampires head left a dent in the plaster. This guy really was a complete tool and Dean was actually enjoying this. Probably a little too much. As a matter of fact, his teeth were still out and that totally wasn’t a conscious decision on his part.

“He told us to head out this way. Think he was asking for help, but then they just stopped. Just, like, out of nowhere. I don’t know where to go next.”

He wondered if the visions abrupt halt meant that the Alpha had died. It made sense that he’d call for help using anything he could. He’d tried it with him first until Cas threatened him. He never thought there would be a downside to kicking the Alpha out of his head, but now he was painfully out of the loop. He had no idea what was going on, but hey, at least his head was off limits… except to Cas, of course.

“Did he tell you anything else?”

“What, you didn’t get them?”

“No. Answer my-“

“Why not?”

“Because my angel threatened to kick his ass if he did, now answer my question.”

“Angel?”

Dean slammed him roughly against the wall again, sending bits of plaster and wood shattering in every direction. The kitchen now had a nice person shaped dent in the wall. “Answer the damn question!”

“N-no. Just head east. I was coming from Oregon. Don’t really know where he is exactly. Somewhere east of here, I think.”

Dean had decided the vampire had worn out its usefulness, but he’d give the pathetic thing one last benefit of the doubt. “Tell me something, you were gonna kill that woman, right?” The vampire nodded. “Thought so,” he said as he stabbed the knife into his neck.

The smell of blood permeated the air immediately and Dean shivered as the scent reached his nostrils. He kicked the body to the floor and made swift work of decapitating the creature. Dean was sick of decapitations nowadays and ended the job as quickly as he could. Then reaper touched the body and ejected the soul.

“Oh my god,” the soul whispered. “I’m… I’m…”

“Dead,” the reaper said.

“Have fun in Purgatory,” Dean said with a wave.

The reaper glared at Dean with a mix of astonishment and anger. Dean was pretty sure he was going to have a reputation among reapers pretty soon, because he really couldn’t resist one last minute snipe. He especially couldn’t resist letting these monsters know where they were headed and if Tessa’s reaction were any indication that was kind of a faux pas. But honestly, Dean did not care. The reaper wisely led the soul away from the scene in an attempt to stop the looming confrontation.

Then Dean began to feel the early stages of hunger creep up on him. The blood smelled human, and he wondered if that meant the vampire had recently fed. The other decapitated vampire he encountered didn’t smell like that. But maybe his senses were just off because he was playing Death for a day. Everything felt just a little bit different then. Without thinking he lifted the knife and licked the blood off the blade. His teeth snapped out and suddenly he was overcome with the whole experience. All he could think about was blood.

“Shit!” He quickly crammed the knife back into its sheath and stumbled out of the building. His senses were overwhelming him again and he couldn’t even hope to control them. There were suddenly heartbeats all around him and the smell of blood was dominating his nostrils and the hunger... the hunger…

He tried to get back to Bobby’s, but he barely traveled a block before realizing he wasn’t going to make it. Dean ducked into an alley and prayed. “Cas! Cas please… I need you… I…”

He heard Cas’ wings first and his heartbeat just a second later. The smell of his blood pumping through his veins was more than a little intoxicating and Dean charged at him as soon as he saw him. He slammed Cas back into the wall so hard pieces of brick crumbled off and fell to the ground. He tore the vein open and let the hot blood wash over his tongue. It was just as incredible as it always was and Dean let himself get lost in the sensations. It was all consuming.

They each held onto each other as though they’d fall apart otherwise. Dean understood why he needed this. It was a necessity. But he wasn’t quite sure why Cas needed it. But the angel was enveloping him in both his arms and his wings as he fed and Dean decided just to enjoy the contact. Dean’s ability to think was hindered as he drank, so he let the questions drift away and be replace by raw need. The blood was the most important thing in the world at that moment.

At one point Dean heard sirens, but after a brief flutter of wings the noises vanished and were replaced with the sound of two new human hearts. He assumed Cas must have flown them back to Bobby’s and he his mind automatically returned to the thought of blood. That was the important part. When Castiel prematurely pushed Dean away he snapped his teeth back in immediately.

“Cas?” He pulled back and finally got a good look at Castiel’s face. He looked incredibly exhausted. Angel’s shouldn’t get tired and they certainly shouldn’t look like they were about to pass out. “What’s wrong?”

“I just don’t have the energy to give you more. I’m sorry.”

“What? Why not?”

“I’m still at war, Dean,” Cas snapped. Dean flinched at the tone in his voice. Cas had been on edge every time they’d met since the apocalypse and Dean could only imagine why. ‘War.’ Cas was tight lipped about his war and Dean really couldn’t do much to help anyway. But still, he felt completely useless being left in the dark.

“It’s not going well up there, is it,” Dean said in a hushed tone.

Castiel couldn’t look Dean in the eyes. “No… it isn’t.”

Dean knew there was nothing he could do, but he really wished Cas would be more forward with his answers. It felt like the angel was taking on the burden of war all on his own when he should realize Dean was there to help him in any way that he could. He didn’t really feel like the occasional prayer was enough. Not when the angel showed up looking like he was going to collapse at any second. But he trusted Cas enough to let the subject drop. He hated it, but it felt like the right response.

When he finally bothered to look around he realized he was, in fact, back at Bobby’s. Castiel had made them land directly in the guestroom that had slowly become ‘his room.’ When he looked back at Cas he noticed the angel was staring at some random spot on the floor. His eyes were glossy and he looked like he was having trouble standing up.

“You need a break, Cas.”

“I cannot afford one.”

“You can’t afford not to,” Dean said as he took Castiel’s face in his hands. His beautiful blue eyes abandoned the spot on the floor in favor of looking at Dean. He was amazed at how calming just a look was. He was immediately more at ease, but the burden of war still weighed heavily on his shoulders.

Then Dean was kissing him tenderly and meaningfully. He lifted his own hands to gently rest on Dean’s arms, but the hunter was very clearly in control of the situation. Dean tilted Cas’ head for better access and explored his mouth with a fervor that rendered Castiel pliant in his arms. He was so pliant, in fact, that Dean actually became worried. He’d never experienced the angel feeling so weak and vulnerable. It was sort of alarming.

Dean pulled back from the kiss and looked at the angel’s face. “You need some sleep, Cas.”

“Angels don’t sleep, Dean.”

“Yeah, yeah, whatever. Humor me.”

Cas sighed as Dean led him over to the bed. The hunter kicked off his shoes and lay down on his back. Castiel followed suit, toeing off his own shoes and crawling onto the bed beside Dean. Castiel latched himself onto Dean’s side, draping one arm over his stomach and allowing one of his legs to tangle in between the hunter’s. One of Cas’ wings fell right through the mattress while the other one gently blanketed over them both. Dean appreciated the warmth it provided, once again feeling almost human thanks to some very non-human circumstances. The softness of the feathers was much preferred to Bobby’s scratchy sheets, too, and Dean felt so extraordinarily lucky to be experiencing them.

A few seconds later Dean heard what almost sounded like a snore coming from the angel. Clearly Cas was lying when he said he didn’t need sleep, because he was out like a light. He didn’t even stir when Dean ran his fingers through his hair and kissed him gently on the forehead. It only took about a minute to Dean to fall asleep too. It was the best night of sleep either of them had ever had.


	14. Chapter 14

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sam wants to take on a case, but Dean already has one of his own. Unfortunately, Sam can’t tag along for this one since it involves the Campbell’s. When Dean is injured on the case he finds himself with only one choice; pray to Castiel.

When Dean finally woke up in the middle of the afternoon he found himself cold and alone in his bed. He hadn’t actually expected Cas to be there, but he hoped that someday he’d be able to wake up next to him. Just once at least. Dean vaguely remembered Cas visiting him in his dreams, but it’d been so many hours ago he only had the most vague recollection of it. Either way, he couldn’t really fault the guy. What was it he said? Oh yeah, ‘I’m at war, Dean.’ And really, how can you argue with that? At least he got him to take a nap.

When Dean went downstairs he saw Sam sitting at the coffee table with newspaper articles spread out in front of him. As Dean entered the room Sam made a small sound of acknowledgement, but was otherwise completely absorbed in whatever it was he was reading. Whatever it was, it had Sam’s heart pumping away furiously. He was certainly excited about it and Dean was instantly intrigued.

“What have you go there,” Dean said as he took a seat on the couch next to his brother.

“New case.”

“Dude, you just got vertical.”

“Yeah, because you totally waited around when you got back from Hell.”

“That was different. I had an angel pushing me back into the game. Also, I remembered it. You don’t. You deserve a break.”

“Dude, if anything, you remembering it means you deserved a break more,” Sam said as he finally tore his eyes away from the newspaper clippings in front of him.

Dean glared at his brother. He had a point. But still, fuck him. “Fine, but you’re on your own. I already have a case.”

“What? Why didn’t you tell me? If you’re already working on something-“

“You can’t be involved in it, Sammy.”

“Why the hell not?”

“Exactly.”

“What?”

“Look, you just have to trust me, alright?”

Sam looked at his brother for a moment, examining his eyes for any hint of what was really going on. Of course he trusted him. Nothing would change that. Not even his status as a vampire. As far as he was concerned, Dean was the more trustworthy of either of them. His eyes were steady, honest, and completely serious. “Fine. Whatever. Maybe I’ll get Bobby to come with me.”

“Sounds good. Grumpy needs to get out of this house.”  
-

The Campbell’s compound was only a few hours away from Bobby’s. He parked his car a few miles up the road and walked the rest of the way in, knowing that the sound of his engine would kill any attempt at a stealth approach. His car was far too recognizable and there was really no reason for some other random person in an Impala to be cruising around out in the middle of nowhere.

Thankfully, Dean was able to see the guard at the door long before the guard could ever see him, so he stopped and tried to evaluate the situation before proceeding. There was only one guard outside armed with a shotgun that Dean could only assume was filled with salt rounds. They’d hurt like a bitch, but ultimately he’d be ok. Still, getting around the guard was a much better option. He made his way around to the back of the house before approaching within human eye sight.

When he was about fifty yards away from the building he picked up the scent of a vampire, but he wasn’t able to tell how old the smell was or even where it was coming from. This was the best confirmation he had, though, so he continued on. Even if it hadn’t been the Alpha, there had been a vampire (besides him, of course) ridiculously close to their compound. That alone was enough reason to continue.

It took Dean about ten seconds to pick the lock on the back door, which surprised him since the Campbell’s were supposedly a pretty skilled family of hunters. Maybe they figured the salt lines and devil’s traps were enough. Demons tended to be the main opponent during the apocalypse, so it made sense in a way. But both of those were useless against a vampire and he had no problem getting inside.

He made his way quietly through darkened house with ease. The room he’d broken into was a storage room filled with tons of rock salt and bullet casings. He heard four heartbeats in the house, but none of them were immediately nearby. Dean cautiously stepped out of the storage room into the hallway and tiptoed towards the stairs leading to the basement at the opposite end of the house.

As he was making his way through the kitchen Dean heard the click of a gun and froze in his tracks. Apparently he hadn’t honed his hearing skills well enough, because he did not hear that person approach until it was too late. Now their heart was beating furiously and there was no way not to hear it.

“Hands in the air.”

He could recognize the voice, even if he’d only met her a couple of times. “Gwen, good to see you again,” he said as he raised his hands up and slowly turned around.

“What are you doing here,” she demanded. “You have your brother. You’ve got no reason to be here.”

“Well, not exactly.” Since Gwen hadn’t yet called for help or shot him he assumed it was safe to test the boundaries. “You know Samuel partnered with a demon, right?”

“I know,” Gwen said reluctantly. She almost sounded a little choked up admitting that.

“And you know that’s not right, right?”

“And teaming up with a vampire is?”

“Well, yeah. I still have a soul. A human soul. Demons had all their humanity ripped from them in Hell. There’s a huge difference.”

Gwen had lowered her gun slightly, but she still had it aimed at him. “Why are you here?”

“The Alpha vampire. Are you guys holding him here?”

“We were. But not anymore.”

“Where is he?”

“Dead, I think. I don’t know. They don’t let me get involved in that stuff really.”

He felt pretty bad for Gwen, then. She was his cousin, after all, and she was raised as a hunter just like he was. But now here she was with her ‘family’ that had very questionable morality and motivations all of a sudden. Grandpa mysteriously back from the dead working with demons? Cousin back from the dead acting like a complete asshole? Other cousin is a vampire? It had to suck being her at that moment.

“Ok, that’s all I came here for. I needed to know he was dead, ok?”

Gwen lowered her gun all the way and gestured to the door. “Get the fuck out of here before someone else catches you.”

Dean nodded and started to make his way to the door.  He paused in the entryway and  looked back at Gwen. “You should probably know that Alpha sent out a little psychic message to a ton of vampires and a lot of them are headed here. I only beat them because I’ve been here before. Just… be prepared for that. I’d get the fuck out of here if I was you.”

He pushed his way through the door and tried to retrace his steps through the house. Left down the hall. Then a right into the back supply room. Then…

A gun went off and Dean felt an intense pain in his back and chest. He’d been shot dozens of times before, but this one felt different. The pain was indescribably hot and brutally sharp and hiss vision started to blur.  If he were human it would have been fatal.  Dean clutched his chest and turned to see who his assailant was. “Samuel…”

“Dean, what are you doing here? You know we can’t just let monsters stomp through the house like this. Especially ones that kidnap our family members…”

“Sam is with his family,” he said as the muscles in his chest started to constrict and spasm. “What the hell did you shoot me with?!”

“Bullets coated in Dead Man’s Blood. Figured you might try to come back for whatever reason. Took you longer than I thought.”

Dean fell to his knees. He could feel the poison spreading through his body and as Samuel approached and cocked his gun he knew he only had one choice. He squeezed his eyes shut. “Cas! I  fucking need you now!”

Just as he felt the barrel of the gun press up against the top of his head he heard the angel arrive next to him. The gun went off, but it’d been pushed aside quick enough that the bullet went straight through the floor instead of the top of his head. Dean collapsed onto the floor and lost track of the commotion around him. He couldn’t even lift his head to look. He’d heard Gwen enter the room just as Samuel started to curse and yell at Cas. The gun went off again and he heard a body hit the floor. He thought perhaps someone had been shot, but when he heard a second body fall he prayed that it was just Cas working his sleep mojo on them...

The room went silent and Cas was at his side immediately. He picked up the hunter and flew him home to Bobby’s. Dean wanted to argue that he left the Impala back there, but the pain in his chest was far too intense to formulate a coherent sentence. He could feel his blood seeping into places it didn’t belong; his lungs, his chest cavity, his esophagus. Thankfully he didn’t have to breathe, but it was a struggle to stop what was such a natural activity.  Every involuntary breath pushed more blood up his throat towards his mouth.

As Cas set Dean down on the couch, the hunter realized he only heard the angel’s heartbeat in the house. That must have meant that Sam and Bobby had already headed out to that case in Portland. Too bad, because Sam was a miracle worker with bullet wounds and he could have really used his help. A bit of blood spilled from his mouth onto Bobby’s upholstery and he coughed in an attempt to clear his throat. He could feel the blood seeping through the back of his jacket too. Bobby’s couch was as good as gone. “C-cas…”

“Don’t talk, Dean, just think at me.”

_Heal me…_

“I can’t heal a vampire. Not with my grace. What else can I do?” Cas’ eyes were not only completely exhausted, but completely panicked as well. He’d never seen the angel look so completely shattered. Well, except for that brief stint into the future, but that was different. That Cas was burying his pain in drugs and alcohol whereas this Cas was wearing it plainly on his face. And that almost hurt more than his bullet wound.

_The first aid kit in Bobby’s kitchen. Just to the right of the stove…_

Castiel disappeared and reappeared with the kit almost instantly. He knelt down next to him, wings fanning out behind him across Bobby’s living room straight through the furniture. “What do I do? How do I use this?”

_You have to open it first, Cas…_

“Of course,” he said as he tore the lid off his hinges.

_Could have just undone the clip in the front Cas…_

“I’ll apologize to Bobby later. What do I do?” He held out the open box and stared at the contents. His only knowledge of human first aid was a Bandaid, but that didn’t seem to be the best thing to use for a bullet wound. When Dean ripped open his shirt to get a better look at it Cas was positive that the tiny piece of rubber and cotton was completely inadequate. The wound was large and oozing blood and all Dean was thinking was _shit, shit, shit…_ “Dean!”

_The bullet went through me. We just need to patch me up. I have no idea what to do about the Dead Man’s Blood though…_

“It isn’t fatal, but you will be weak,” he said as he rifled through the box of medical supplies. Gauze seemed appropriate. It was a giant piece of cotton. A Bandaid on a larger scale. Perfect.

_How long?_

“I don’t know,” he said as he ripped open the tiny paper packet.

_Wait, we need to sanitize the wound…_

“From what?”

_Fuck, ok, just patch me up. You might have to stitch me up if the gauze doesn’t stop the bleeding. Use the clear medical tape to hold it in place._

Castiel placed the gauze over the open wound, hoping it’d be enough since he honestly had no idea how to stitch. Dean helped him hold it in place as he struggled to tear off a piece of tape. The first attempt ended with a tangled piece that was sticking to itself and extremely useless. Cas tossed it aside. His second attempt at tearing off a piece of tape was more successful, though just as frustrating, and he secured the large swath of cotton to Dean’s wound. He put another piece of tape on just to be sure it’d stay in place.

Dean grabbed his hand once he’d finished. The desperation in Dean’s grip was obvious. He was in an incredible amount of pain. _I’m going to have to roll over and you’ll have to do the same on my back. If I’m still bleeding out a lot when you do that we’ll need to grab a needle and thread from Bobby’s study…_

Dean rolled over onto his stomach, resting his head on his folded arms, and was immediately struck with how much the wound had already healed. The Dead Man’s Blood was definitely slowing down the process, though, and he was still in an incredible amount of pain. When he’d been bitten by the ghoul he was healed entirely in just under an hour. He hadn’t even noticed the pain after a couple of minutes and had forgotten about it by the time they’d killed Crowley. This was still pretty horrific, though, and every movement hurt.

Cas ripped the shirt like he’d seen Dean do and set to work on the entrance wound. The blood was a lot more pronounced on his back since gravity had forced it all out of the wound facing downward. But the wound itself wasn’t leaking as much blood as it was at first. He quickly cleaned off the skin around it and pressed a fresh piece of gauze firmly against it. Once he’d secured it with tape he ran his hand up Dean’s back hoping that, if nothing else, his touch could sooth him. When Dean let out a soft moan he knew it’d worked.

 _Thanks, Cas…_ The angel leaned over and kissed the handprint on Dean’s bare shoulder. The hunter shivered under the soft touch and slowly opened his eyes. Castiel was looking at him with all intensity he had when they’d first met, but his eyes were horribly sad and ragged. _I wish I could heal you too…_

“I’m not injured, Dean…”

“That’s not what I mean,” he said through his blood filled mouth.

“Don’t talk. You need to heal.”

Dean wanted to argue, but he was just too tired. He could already feel sleep creeping up on him and he knew he was going to lose that battle anyway. Castiel would just have to ask him for help, because every offer he’d made so far had been rejected. Maybe Cas really didn’t need anything from him, but it hurt to feel so useless. After all Cas had done for him already, all Dean could do was pray and ask for more and more and more.   He just wanted to give him something in return.

Then Dean drifted off to sleep and Cas fanned one wing over him to keep him warm. He couldn’t stay long, but he knew Dean appreciated any amount of warmth, even if it were fleeting.

 


	15. Chapter 15

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dean is on research duty as he’s recovering from his injuries, but he gets lost in his thoughts about Castiel. He makes it his own personal mission to help Cas, even if the angel is too stubborn to allow him to.

Two days later Dean woke up to the sound of his cellphone buzzing across the coffee table. He fumbled with the phone in a desperate attempt to get it to his ear. When he finally managed to answer the damn thing he could only make some non-committed grunt into the receiver, hoping that it conveyed ‘hello’ to whoever was on the other end of the line. It wasn’t until Sam began to talk that he knew who was ‘conversing’ with. “Hey, so we’re in Portland, Oregon…”

Dean got distracted from the conversation immediately, though, as he vaguely remembered something Cas had said to him in a dream. It was something important. The dream started coming back to him bit by bit, but something his brother said snapped him back to reality. “Dragons?”

“Yeah,” Sam said, sounding completely unenthusiastic with the idea. “Dragons,” he repeated. Dean could practically hear his eyes rolling over the phone. Vampires, demons, angels… why not dragons? What the hell? “Well, how’s _your_ case?”

“Got shot,” he said as he got up off Bobby’s blood soaked couch. _The fridge._ Something was waiting for him in the fridge. He was starting to remember.

“What?!”

“It’s ok. I’m patched up. It’s fine.”

“You got shot?”

“In the chest. Bullets covered in Dead Man’s Blood for extra ‘fuck you’ flavor.”

“Jesus, Dean, I really wish you’d tell me about this case…”

“But I can’t.”

“I know, but you got shot, Dean. You better have a damn good reason for keeping it from me, that’s all.”

“Oh, I do. Believe me.”

When Dean opened the fridge he saw a tall glass of blood sitting on the bottom shelf. He could tell it was Cas’ blood just by the smell alone, though he did have a vague memory of being told about it in his dream. He put it up to his nose and inhaled the salty fragrance deep into his lungs. It was so intoxicating that Dean’s teeth unsheathed automatically and hunger shot through his entire body. Dean hesitantly took a sip, but he could tell that it was going to have to be heated up to be even remotely tolerable. The fact that he had enough willpower to pop it into a microwave was a blessing. He’d come a long way from that first horrible night.

“How’s Cas?” Sam’s voice cut into him like a knife. It didn’t surprise him that Sam was concerned for Cas. He was part of the family one way or another. But he hated being the bearer of bad news.

“He’s tired. Sam.”

“That’s… not good.”

“Definitely not.”

“What the hell’s going on upstairs?”

“I don’t have a fucking clue. He won’t tell me a God damned thing. I really wish he would.”

There was another awkward silence as they both realized the conversation had come to a natural end far earlier than either of them wanted it to. They both had more important things to be getting to anyway. Still, it was nice to talk again. He missed Sam more than he could ever put into words and he only wished he could be there with him fighting dragons of all things. Dragons! Seriously?

“I guess I should get to looking in that sewer now,” Sam said. “I’m not looking forward to this part.”

“Have fun with your dragon thing. See you when you get back.”

Dean hung up just as the microwave beeped. The first drink had him humming in with pleasure. It was hot, how it should be, and salty and satisfying in a deep and very primal way. Thank God for Cas, he thought, because he wouldn’t have known what to do had he woken up in pain without something to eat. The desperation could have escalated beyond his control if it weren’t Cas’ forethought on the matter. Of course, he had to wonder just how bad it was upstairs if Cas was anticipating not being able to get away from the battlefield for a few days.

When he’d finished his drink Dean discarded his bloody and shredded shirt into the trashcan considering it a complete and total loss. His chest still ached and the Dead Man’s Blood was making him feel completely exhausted. Otherwise he was feeling pretty decent all things considered. He hesitantly peeled the gauze off the wound on his chest and was pleasantly surprised to see it was almost healed. There was a small indentation where the hole was, but if he hadn’t known what had been there a few hours ago he could have easily mistaken it for a really nasty scar.

His fingers gravitated to the mark on his shoulder again. He was worried about Castiel. So incredibly worried. Dean’s imagination had taken him to some terrifying places and he wondered if the reality of the situation was more or less frightening than his nightmares. He wondered what happens to angels when they die. Do they cease to exist? Do they go to purgatory? Hell? Or did they ever get to return to Heaven in some form? If Cas died, would Dean ever see him again? Would God resurrect him for a third time? Too many questions. Not enough answers. The only thing he knew for sure was that Cas would be there for him for as long as he could, even when it was really against his best interest.

Dean closed his eyes and prayed. “Cas, thanks…” He paused, knowing there was way too much to thank him for. Thanks for keeping me alive, keeping me sane, and being there for me. Thanks for saving my life repeatedly and pulling me from Hell and holding me together when the world is coming apart at the seams. There was only one way to say everything he felt succinctly. “Thanks for everything. You better stay safe up there. Or else.”

Then Dean prayed _for_ Castiel. God had never answered his prayers before, but He had interfered before and if there was anything out there that could keep Castiel safe it was Him. He wasn’t sure how much good it’d do, but it was all he could think of in such a desperate moment. “God, please. After all Cas has been through, just please let him survive this. Please… Just let him survive…”

After taking an excessively long and hot shower, Dean decided it was a well-deserved day off. He’d been shot, he didn’t have a case, and he had way too much on his mind to do anything useful. Dean popped open a beer and settled onto Bobby’s couch, the one that wasn’t covered in blood, and prepared himself for some quality trashy TV. If memory served him right, there was a Doctor Sexy marathon on during the day on some obscure channel. Was it TNT? TBS? USA? He flipped around until he found it and settled in on the couch for twelve straight hours of Doctor Sexy being sexy. Unfortunately around hour four his body decided he needed more sleep and he passed out again.

His phone started ringing again and he jerked awake. He managed to check the screen before answering this time, but only barely. “Hey, Bobby, what’s up?”

“I need you to do some research on ‘the Mother.’”

“’The Mother.’ Whose ‘Mother?’” Dean sat up and shut off the television.

“Well… yours, kind of.”

“Excuse me?”

“She’s called the ‘Mother of All Monster’ according to one of the dragons we talked to.”

“You talked to a dragon?”

“Yeah. They aren’t always big bat looking things, apparently. Anyway, the research…”

“Yeah, no problem. I’ll get on it. But one thing first…”

“What’s that?”

“This bitch is not my mother.”

“Fair enough.”

Dean hung up and headed directly to Bobby’s study. He was never really a fan of research, but he was the only one at home so it was entirely his responsibility at the moment. He was pretty sure there was nothing in the Bible about her even though he wasn’t exactly all that familiar with the book. He thought that was particularly odd considering his recent history, but he just never bothered to sit down and actually read it. Still, it was the first thing he reached for nowadays whenever anything seemed atypical. It was followed quickly by an encyclopedia on monsters and various old leather bound books that might have something vaguely useful within their pages. Roman monsters, Nordic monsters, Japanese monsters, whatever. He’d have to strike gold with one of them eventually. Hopefully.

Hours later he had come to the conclusion that he had no idea who this bitch was. There was a woman in Greek mythology called Echidna who was sometimes referred to as the “Mother of All,” and she was known for creating dragons, so that seemed to fit. However, according to most texts she really only responsible for a handful of creatures. The ‘All’ part seemed to be exaggerated at best and most sources doubted the authenticity of the legend anyway. Then the Judeo-Christian texts he’d read directly contradicted the Greek texts saying that, of all people, _Lilith_ was responsible for the creation of monsters, and he knew that had to be wrong. Whoever this ‘Mother’ bitch was, she was walking the Earth at that very moment. This was someone new.

Dean sighed and let his eyes wander across the room. This Mother stuff was giving him a giant headache and he needed to do something else for a while. His eyes eventually settled on a book about angels and he immediately got to his feet to retrieve it. When they’d first become aware of the existence of angels they’d combed every book Bobby had to find information about them. He wondered if the book would read differently now he’d gotten to know one so well. When he’d first gone through the texts he was trying desperately to poke holes into the theory that Castiel was what he said he was. He just didn’t want to believe it at the time. But now he knew better and the books might be even more useful than they were then.

Dean flipped the book open to a random page and was greeted with a traditional image of angels in long flowing white robes and glowing halos. He laughed at the contrast with to Castiel’s dirty little trench coat and sloppy tie. As far as he could tell, Cas didn’t have a halo either, but he was glowing. His skin seemed to let off a light completely unrelated to the environment around him. Then Dean looked at the wings in the painting. They were pretty accurate, but instead of ‘white’ he’d describe them as ‘light.’ They looked like pure energy, yet they felt completely solid and strong, but still soft and unbelievably warm.

Dean’s fingers had subconsciously found their way to the mark again. Cas needed him and was just too damn stubborn to admit it. He set the book down on Bobby’s desk and started flipping through the pages for some sort of information on how to ‘recharge’ an angel. The more he thought of it, the more Cas was starting to look like that version of him in 2014. His batteries were wearing out more and more every time he saw him and there had to be a way to prevent him from losing it entirely. _Angels don’t get tired_ , he reminded himself. _Angels don’t sleep._

Five hours later Dean threw the Bible through the wall…

This was useless.

“Cas! Get your fucking feathered ass down here!” When nothing happened, Dean decided he’d try a tactic his mother had used whenever she meant business. “Castiel!”

The angel appeared a couple seconds after his full name was spoken. “What is it Dean?”

He looked even more exhausted than before. “You angels are really fucking good at keeping everything about you a big secret, you know that?”

Cas sighed and put his hands in his pockets. “Yes, I’m aware. That’s intentional.”

“How the fuck am I supposed to help you if I don’t know shit about how you work?”

“What do you want to know?” Castiel’s patience was wearing thin, but he genuinely wanted Dean to ask questions if he had them. He couldn’t guarantee that he’d answer them, but he still wanted to share what he could.

“Ok, so do you remember that little jaunt Zachariah sent me on to the future?” When Cas nodded Dean continued. “You referred to your mojo as being ‘drained away.’ And I don’t know how to tell you, but you look like shit and-“

“My connection with Heaven is not damaged, which is what I believe I meant when I said that.” It was hard for Castiel to comment on the opinions of a self that he’d never experienced, but he knew the circumstances well enough to hazard a guess. That version of himself was suffering from the loss of his connection to the Host, not from having his grace physically worn out.

“Well, whatever it is then, you actually fell asleep, Cas. When do you do that?”

“When I’m tired.”

“And why the hell are you tired?”

“I am drained, but not in that way.”

“Ok, and how do we recharge you? More sleep?” Castiel looked away. “Cas, answer me. I’m down here worried about you every waking moment. If there is something, anything that can help, you have to let me know what it is. I can tell when you’re hiding something, Cas. You suck at lying.”

“There is a way to recharge my strength, but it is not something I wish to do-”

“What is it?”

“It’s very dangerous-“

“What is it?!” Dean grabbed Cas’ lapels and shook him. Of course Cas was way more powerful than him, but the aggressive behavior got his point across. He was deadly serious.

“If I touched a human soul I could gain strength.”

“Do it.” He released Castiel and spread his arms out.

“Dean…”

“What? I’ve still got a soul in here, right?”

“If I do it wrong you might, uh, explode.”

“Then don’t do it wrong.” Castiel looked away and Dean reached out to take his face in his hands to force him to make eye contact. “Look, you let me rip into your throat every couple of days just so I can keep going. The least I could do is let you reach into my chest and get frisky with my soul.”

“Dean…”

“What’s stopping you?”

“It’s… I’m ashamed of it. I shouldn’t have to do this.”

“But you do. So do it.”

Cas was reluctant, but he eventually gave in and gestured towards the couch. Dean took the hint and lay down. Then Cas removed his belt and Dean quirked his eyebrow. “Cas?”

“You will need to bite down on something.”

“Ok… this anything like an angel cavity search?”

“More painful than that. Not only will I be reaching into your chest cavity, but I will be making contact with your soul.”

“And that’s different from a cavity search because…?”

“I did not make contact with the soul when I did it to Sam or Aaron Birch. I merely detected its presence… this will be far more intense both physically and spiritually.”

“You’ve already touched my soul once…”

Cas locked eyes with Dean and for a moment neither of them could say anything. The first contact they’d had with each other was Castiel grabbing his soul and pulling it from Hell. Everything that followed was because of that moment. The evidence of that encounter was scarred plainly on Dean’s shoulder.

Finally Castiel spoke in a hushed tone. “It was the most intense experience of my life, Dean.”

“Mine too,” Dean choked out. It felt like such an inadequate response, but it was all he could force out. ‘Intense’ was an alarmingly huge understatement.

Cas placed the belt in Dean’s mouth and kissed him gently on the forehead. Then the angel placed his hand just below Dean’s ribcage and looked at him apologetically. His sorrow for the action was obvious, but Dean just nodded in encouragement before bracing himself. As soon as he pushed his hand inside Dean snapped his second set of teeth out and began screaming at the top of his lungs. The belt was completely shredded between his teeth in seconds and he knocked his head backwards against the pillow. Then Dean clutched onto Cas’ arm so tightly he drew blood, but the angel continued pushing in undeterred.

When he made contact with Dean’s soul Cas’ eyes started to glow with the same powerful energy that made up his wings. Their eyes were still locked and a sense familiarity coursed through them both in that moment. They’d done this before, though Dean only had the vaguest of recollections of his trip from Hell back to his body. He remembered the basic feeling of flying through the air and being held by the most powerful being he’d ever encountered, but he hadn’t been able to see, hear, or smell a damn thing. Despite the pain of having Cas’ hand in his chest, he felt a weird sense of security at the contact.

That sense of comfort didn’t stop him from screaming at the top of his lungs, though. The pain was insurmountable. Cas was trying to sooth him with his other hand, running his fingers up and down Dean’s bare arm, but it was only vaguely helping. When the glow in Cas’ eyes started to intensify and spill out from his body Dean squeezed his eyes shut. He was pretty sure he could see an angel’s true form now. That was what his wings were, right? But he didn’t want to chance it. Not when Cas couldn’t heal him immediately, anyway. He was in enough pain already.

Then Dean heard the high pitched scream of Castiel’s voice and instead of sounding like nails on a chalkboard it sounded… beautiful. Absolutely beautiful in every way. There was a large gust of wind and he felt Cas withdraw his hand in one abrupt motion. Dean sat up and immediately clutched onto his chest as though his guts would come spilling out. That was far more painful than that damn bullet wound and his entire body was trembling in pain.

When he opened his eyes he saw Castiel lying on his back on the floor at the other side of the room. “Cas!”

Dean ripped the shredded leather from his teeth and stumbled off the couch. He fell face first onto the floor, but he managed to scramble on his hands and knees over to his angel. When Cas let his eyelids flutter open Dean noticed his pupils were still glowing. “Cas?”

“I’m alright, Dean,” he said as he sat up. His wings emerged from the floor and spread out experimentally as though he were stretching his muscles for the first time in a long while. They were brighter than they were before, almost blinding. “Are _you_ alright?”

Dean responded by rolling over onto his back and groaning. He put his hand to chest and shut his eyes. He felt like he’d been hit by a truck, but there was also that weird sense of comfort still buzzing in his chest. It was a huge conflict, but it certainly made the physical pain easier to handle. The next thing he knew Castiel was running his fingers in little circular movements over the sore spot on Dean’s chest. It felt good, even without his magical healing powers. It was soothing and graceful and beautiful.

When Dean reopened his eyes he was completely caught up in Cas’ weird hypnotic glow. His eyes were already beautiful, but he could not look away when they were like this. The glowing tendrils of grace swirled around in his pupils in a way that made Dean’s motionless heart ache with joy. Those were _Cas’_ eyes, not Jimmy Novak’s. Ok, the eyeballs themselves once belonged to Jimmy, but that was Cas’ grace pushed right up to the very edge of his vessel. _He was looking directly at Cas._

“I’m sorry that it was so painful for you,” the angel whispered. “It was more intense than I expected for me as well.”

“Did it work?” Dean hated how hoarse he sounded.

“Yes.”

“Then that’s what’s important.”

He held Cas’ gaze for a few more seconds, but the exhaustion he felt was overwhelming. He’d already slept a ridiculous amount in the past three days, but with the amount of trauma his body had experienced it still wasn’t enough. A few seconds after his eyelids slid shut Castiel kissed him on the forehead. A moment later he felt two fingers in that same spot and Dean immediately lost consciousness.


	16. Chapter 16

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> When Sam and Bobby return from their case in Oregon, the Winchester brothers decide to do some much needed catching up. Unfortunately, Eve has other plans.

Dean heard Bobby’s car coming down the road long before it ever made it to the driveway. He decided to use his extra few minutes to stretch and wake up on his own terms for once. It took him a moment to realize he was in his bed, shoes and jeans removed, with the blanket tucked securely around him. And dammit, the blanket was warm. Cas must have placed him there, he thought, which was a nice enough gesture on its own, but the warm blanket went way beyond his expectations. He still wished he could wake up in Castiel’s arms, though, but he’d take what he could get.

When he heard the car pulling across Bobby’s lot Dean quickly threw on some clothes and hurried downstairs. He entered the living room just as Sam and Bobby were coming through the front door. They looked horribly tired and battered from a hunt well fought. Worse yet, they both smelled like they hadn’t had a shower in days and Dean cursed his preternatural senses. “You guys drive straight from Oregon?”

“Yeah,” Sam sighed as he set his backpack down next to the door. “Straight on through, only stopping twice for gas.”

“Jesus,” Dean said. Even for him that was an epic drive.

Bobby was about to set his own bag down on the couch, but quickly stopped when he saw the mess of blood all over it. “What the hell happened to my couch?”

“Uh, you know how I got shot…?”

“Yeah, and you chose just to bleed out all over my furniture?”

“Well, you’ve got four couches, Bobby. Figured one of them could take a hit while I healed up.”

“Well, I’ve only got three now. I’ve gotta burn this one,” he said as he brushed passed Dean on his way towards a supply closet down the hall. Yeah, having traces of vampire blood floating around his house was obviously ill-advised, but Dean couldn’t help feeling a little offended over it. They were acting like his blood was poison. And, well, ok, maybe it was. But still, that hurt.

Sammy checked the recliner for any blood before collapsing down onto it. He kicked off his shoes and spread his long legs out over the coffee table. “Dragons…” he sighed.

“That’s ridiculous.” Dean took a seat on the opposite side of the coffee table from his brother. “Fucking dragons.”

“I got to pull a sword from a stone,” Sam said with a smile. He suddenly looked like a kid at Disneyland.

“What, like Merlin and King Arthur and all that crap?”

“Yep. Walked up, gripped the sword, pulled it from the stone, slayed the dragon.”

“Did a choir sing,” Dean asked, slightly jealous that he didn’t get to be the hero in this little adventure.

Sam just laughed and shut his eyes for a moment. When he opened them again he sighed, knowing that they actually had important stuff to talk about. “So, there’s this ‘Mother’ person that the dragons were talking about…”

“Yeah, I didn’t figure anything out about her. Got some leads, but nothing concrete.”

“Yeah, seems pretty out there to me. Bobby’s never heard of her either really.”

When Bobby coughed loudly from the entrance to the study the brothers turned to look at him. The older hunter scowled at Dean. “Why the hell is there a hole in my wall?”

“Uh… about that,” Dean said, rubbing the back of his neck nervously. “You see, I was reading the Bible…”

Bobby threw his hands up in the air and walked across the room towards the kitchen, not really wanting to discuss the matter further. That was all the information he needed on the subject. That worked for Dean because he didn’t really want to expand on his little story anyway. For some reason it didn’t seem too crazy for Sam to picture his brother throwing a Bible through the wall. Their history with religion was complicating to say the least. He only hoped that it wasn’t a family heirloom for Bobby or something. “Dude, Bobby’s never gonna let you stay here unsupervised again.”

“’Unsupervised?’ I’m not a child Sam.”

“You broke a hole in his wall and bled all over his couch! I don’t even think an actual child would have made that much of a mess.”

Dean opened his mouth to respond, but Bobby’s voice quickly interrupted him. “Is this blood in my cup?” Bobby was standing in the entryway holding up the red tinged glass.

Dean tried to laugh it off, but Bobby’s glare demanded an answer. “Uh, sorry?”

Bobby stared at him for another few seconds before turning around and disappearing back into the kitchen. He did kind of make a mess, but he was kind of unconscious for most of the time after that. Dean rationalized that if he had been awake he would have at least repaired the hole in the wall.

“Well, I’m beat,” Sam said as he got up and started to head up stairs. “See you in a few hours.”  
-

Sam slept for a good twelve hours and when he finally managed to wander back downstairs it was just past midnight. Dean was sitting at the kitchen table downing a bottle of Jack Daniel’s and reading some newspaper clippings that Bobby had lying around. Even though it felt like morning, Sam went straight to the fridge for a beer. When he had first come back he was too stunned to really hold a proper conversation. Now that the initial shock of being resurrected, having no memories for a huge chunk of time, and having a vampire for a brother had worn off they could have some drinks and spend some time catching up.

Dean smiled when his brother joined him at the table, also looking forward to some good old fashion brotherly bonding. Sam, however, awkwardly smiled back and then got very serious. “Dean, I need to know what happened in the year and a half I was gone.”

Ok, that wasn’t the first topic Dean wanted to touch upon. He was hoping they could talk about… well, ok, there wasn’t really anything else _to_ talk about. “I don’t want to go there, Sam,” he said before taking a long drink from his bottle.

“Tough shit, I need to know.”

“No, you really don’t.”

“Dean…” When their eyes met Dean knew Sam wasn’t going to relent until he got some sort of answer. He just had to make sure the answer was a safe one. It was a difficult balancing act.

“Fine, I was with Ben and Lisa for a year, ok? Did the whole suburbia thing. Went to baseball games, had some barbeques, you know, picket-fence shit. Then I got a case.”

“How’d you get a case?”

“Sam…”

“What? Why am I not allowed to know this?”

“Because your wall will collapse,” Dean said, suddenly lowering his voice. He wasn’t sure how much he could actually talk about it before actually setting it off, but he had to say something. It was like walking a tightrope over a lake of fire.

“What?”

“Look, when Death put your soul back he put up this wall between you and the Hell part, ok? You scratch that wall it shatters. You see, _I remember Hell._ And you were there about five or six times longer than I was and in a much worse part. I don’t want you to have to go through that. I don’t want you to remember.”

They both took sips of their respective drinks, letting the information sink in with an uncomfortably long silence. Dean remembered Hell better than he’d have liked. The only part that was fuzzy was the part between Castiel grabbing onto him and him waking up in the coffin. The irony was that was the only part of the experience _he actually wanted to remember_. Maybe someday he’d ask Cas about that.

“Wait a minute… how would telling me what happened to you topside break the wall?”

“That’s scratching the wall, Sam.”

“I just… I don’t understand.”

“That’s the point. You understand and Hell comes flooding back. So just drop it.” They fell silent again. This was not the brotherly bonding either of them had hoped for, but nothing in their lives was really what they’d expected. If the past few years had taught them anything it was that life likes to throw curveballs at the Winchester brothers whenever possible.

Suddenly the room started to spin and Dean’s vision began to blur. He set the bottle down and held onto the table to steady himself, but the task was far more difficult than it should have been. Dean felt like he was going to vomit and he rested his forehead against the table as he squeezed his eyes shut in an attempt to push away the oncoming headache. It didn’t work, though, and it felt like he’d been hit in the head with a frying pan.

“Dean?” Sam put his hand on his shoulder, but Dean batted it away. The sound of blood pumping through Sam’s veins was deafening and the last thing he needed was a wrist right next to his face. But Dean was too delirious to even think about attacking. All he could think of was that he had to get as low as he could before vertigo overtook him. He could tell already that his balance wasn’t going to return for a while.

Dean slid out of his chair and sat on the hardwood surface. He lowered himself down onto his back and stared at the long florescent lights hanging from Bobby’s kitchen ceiling. He was vaguely aware of Sam kneeling down beside him, but all he could focus on was the increasingly bright light coming from those florescent bulbs. It hurt to look at them, but he wanted to stay conscious and if he closed his eyes he thought he might pass out.

Then his vision went completely white and he found himself in the familiar psychic landscape of his own head. This time his mind was projecting the living room of the home he lived in as a child in Lawrence and that made him instantly uncomfortable. Not only was his mind off limits to anyone other than Cas, but whoever was barging in was tapping into very sentimental memories that he didn’t share with anyone. Also, whoever was currently knocking around in his skull had somehow gotten past his angel’s psychic barrier and that was terrifying.

“Cas?!” he shouted. He hoped that counted as a prayer.

“He can’t get in,” someone said. It was a woman’s voice, but he didn’t recognize it. Dean turned around to see a young brunette girl standing in the doorway to the kitchen and he knew instantly that he hated her. She just sent off bad vibes. “He probably doesn’t even know I’m here. Castiel is very young.”

“Who the fuck are you?”

“After all of that research you don’t recognize your own mother?”

Dean froze. He wanted to back away, but he realized that was kind of useless when the bitch was _inside his head._ But he still tensed up as she walked towards him. When she was standing directly in his personal space Dean wanted to shove her away. Only Cas could do that. Only Cas _could be here._

“You’ve got me all wrong. I love my children. All of you…”

“I’m not your child.”

“Don’t interrupt me,” she said and she leaned in close. There was no malice in her voice. She was actually quite sweet and gentle and that was probably the most off putting part about it all. “You have much to learn.”

Dean felt Cas’ presence just at the edge of his consciousness, but the angel was unable to break into his mind. Then he heard Cas saying his name and vaguely felt him holding his hand in the real world. He tried to squeeze his hand in return, hoping to convey that he was still present even if he couldn’t snap out of the weird psychic trap. He didn’t want Cas to worry, even though he knew it was probably too late for that.

“Lady, when Cas gets a hold of you…”

“He won’t be able to do anything. And please, call me Eve.” He felt Castiel pushing at his subconscious again. He pushed and pushed, but the woman was clearly incredibly powerful. “I am not your enemy. I am your mother and I want to protect you just as much as I want to protect all of my children.”

“’Not my enemy?’ Tell me, you the one who pushed the Alpha vampire to tell his kids to multiply? To create vampires everywhere like some sort of weird monster mill?”

“I’ve asked all of my children to be fruitful. The world will be full of monsters now.”

“That sure sounds like an ‘enemy’ to me. Not sure if you know this, but I’m a hunter…”

“I know everything about you, Dean Winchester. I see everything you do, everything you think, and everything you are. We are connected in a way that you and your angel could never be. A lover’s protectiveness is nothing compared to what a mother feels for her young.” She took Dean’s face in her hands. “I will not interfere with your relationship. That is of very little importance to me. I just wish you wouldn’t interfere with my attempts at saving my family.”

“Yeah, turning the whole world into monsters? I’m not going to sit back and let that happen.”

“Dean, child…” She ran her fingers down his cheek. “I don’t wish to harm you, but if you continue hurting your siblings I will have to teach you a lesson.”

Dean suddenly regained consciousness and sat up. Both Cas and Sam were immediately assessing his condition, but he was batting their hands away before he could even think about what he was doing. He still felt incredibly dizzy and he just needed to hold still for a minute by himself. Contact with either of them just made his head hurt more for some reason.

“Dean, what happened,” Cas asked, still desperately trying to evaluate Dean’s condition while respected his apparent need for space.

“Mommy Dearest was in my head,” he whispered. The pain was slowly beginning to fade, but he still felt pretty awful.

“And? What’d she do to you?” Sam asked.

“She wanted me to stop hunting,” he said with a laugh. “Which, yeah, that’s not happening, but…”

“But?” Sam said. “But what?”

“She said she could… she said she could see everything I do and everything I think.” Dean swallowed hard, thinking back on all of the stuff she could have been listening in on. “I can’t work on this thing if she’s in my head like that. She’ll know everything we do.”

“Dean,” Sam said, taken back by the information. “There has to be a way…”

“Look, I’m like a goddamn video camera for her. I can _feel_ her now. She’s in my head watching you _right now._ ” As he said that the sound of heartbeats started to steadily increase in his head. He could hear Cas, Sam, even Bobby asleep upstairs. Then he could hear the neighbors’ heartbeats and he could tell his condition was going to head south pretty quickly. Then he felt the hunger and he turned to his angel. “Cas, you need to get me downstairs now…”

Castiel didn’t hesitate. He immediately grabbed onto him and teleported him instantly to the panic room. Using his grace, the angel locked the door shut securely from the outside trapping them both within the confines of the small iron room. He tried to guide Dean over to the bed to sit down, but he just pushed Cas’ hands off of him as he started to back away across the room. “This isn’t good Cas…”

“Dean…”

“She’s in my fucking head and there’s nothing you can do. This is a nightmare.” Castiel looked distracted again, but he pulled himself away from the angelic message to keep his attention focused on Dean. “What, Angel Radio again?”

“Yes, but…”

“But what?! You shouldn’t even be here! Now this Mother thing probably knows all about you and what you’re up to with your whole war and it’s my fault. I can’t…”

“Dean!” Cas took held onto Dean’s shoulders and gently shook him. “Stop it.”

“Stop what?”

“Stop panicking. Look,” he said as he captured Dean’s eyes with his own. “I don’t care if she can hear me right now. I won’t let you suffer Dean. I may have… pressing priorities, but I will not let you suffer. You have my word.”

When Cas kissed him Dean went rigid. It felt weird knowing someone else was watching you kiss your lover without your consent. It was especially weird when that person was watching from your own mind. He didn’t even really want to look at Cas if Eve was using his eyes. It didn’t seem right that she got to lay eyes upon him without his permission. It all felt rather perverse.

And yet Dean was oddly reassured by the kiss. Cas had a way of calming him in a way that nobody else was capable of. When Cas backed away he kept his eyes closed and deeply exhaled. “I have to go,” he whispered, obviously hating having to say those words.

“I know,” Dean said, equally as reluctant.

Castiel kissed him once on the forehead before he disappeared and Dean was left trembling in the middle of the panic room as his instincts started to take over. He only hoped that Bobby’s panic room was strong enough to confine a vampire, because this was going to be incredibly difficult.


	17. Chapter 17

**Summary for the Chapter:**

>  Dean is locked in the panic room with Eve pushing their psychic link in uncomfortable ways.    Castiel, however, has a solution.

  
Dean wasn’t going to pray. He refused, even though the hunger had long ago overtaken him and reduced him to a trembling animal on the cot in the middle of the room. Dean just didn’t want any sort of psychic connection to be taken advantage of by Eve. He wasn’t exactly sure how prayer worked exactly, but it was probably psychic somehow and he just didn’t want to chance it. As far as he was concerned Cas should stay far away from him in every way possible.

The same went for Sam and Bobby, who were currently upstairs trying to devise a way to fix the problem on their own. He wanted to tell them it was useless to try, but that would require them coming down to the basement to talk to him and he really couldn’t handle the smell of a human that close. He might break through the damn iron door if they got within speaking distance of him. He was just barely holding it together as it is and he didn’t want to add further temptation to the mix.

Eve began speaking to him within minutes of sending him those initial visions. She _tickled_ his brain, not unlike the presence of the Alpha. Her presence had been there from the moment he’d been turned, but he hadn’t been able to recognize it for what it was until she chose to use it in such a way. It had been a faint vibration in the back of his head until she pushed forward and then her presence was unmistakable. Now she was a low buzz in the background, more of an observer than a participant, but her influence on his was obvious by how violent his hunger felt.

_“It would be easier for the both of us if you just backed down from this battle.”_

“Fuck!”

_”Dean, I understand your anger, but there is no need to speak so harshly.”_

He laughed at that, hardly believing what he was hearing… or psychically receiving, or whatever the proper jargon for it was. At least he knew she could hear him if he spoke out loud. “Right, Mother of All Monster has a thing against swear words. Because, you know, creating monsters isn’t vulgar at all…”

_”Don’t fight it. It’s ok to accept what you are, my dear. I hate to see you in such pain.”_

“Fuck you.”

_”Dean, you must understand…”_

“I said, fuck you, get out of my head!”

 _“… that I hold no grudge against you for your chosen occupation. It led you to me, after all. Every year hunters kill a few of my children and I do nothing. And every year my children choose to multiply and our numbers increase, replacing those of my children whom you have eliminated. It’s balanced. But now they are being tortured,_ killed _. Even my first born are being subjected to this treatment. I can’t sit by and ignore it anymore.”_

Dean sat on the edge of the bed and put his hands on his head as though that would help gain control of his own mind. He already knew this stuff and frankly it was none of his business. Whatever Crowley and the Campbell’s were up to was their problem and as long as he got Sam out of it he was fine with whatever suicide mission they chose to go on. Sam was the only one in the whole mess he gave a damn about. He’d rather not hear about it anymore.

_”You’ll come to your senses, Dean. I know you better than you think I do.”_

For a while Eve was silent, but Dean could still feel her there. He could sense the vibration in the back of his mind and occasionally she’d step forward to perceive the world through his eyes. It was obvious when she was doing it because his entire brain would pulsate and every once in a while she’d chime in with ‘helpful’ advice.

_”There is no reason to hate yourself, child. When you accept yourself for what you are you’ll find peace.”_

At one point his thoughts absently drifted to Castiel and he chastised himself for letting it happen. He wasn’t sure if she was reading his immediate thoughts, but he wanted to keep her as far away from anything related to Cas as possible, including just thinking about him. She was still only a faint pulse, but he didn’t want to risk doing anything that could put Cas at risk. He forced his thoughts to other things, to songs he liked, concerts he would have liked to go to, his favorite brand of beer. Anything.

As the hours rolled by he began pacing the room. His hunger was stronger than anything he’d ever felt before. It was even stronger than what he’d felt on that first night and he killed someone then. There was no doubt in his mind that getting within a few feet of a living creature right then would be absolutely unbearable and someone would probably get killed in the process. His teeth were out involuntarily and it took all the strength he had not to try and break down the door now even if Bobby and Sam were all the way upstairs. He could still hear them. He could still smell them. It was getting worse.

Then he heard the familiar fluttering of wings and he whipped around to locate the suddenly adjacent beating heart. Dean charged at Castiel the moment he saw him, but the angel simply grabbed Dean by the throat and held him at arm’s length. There was no malice in the gesture. Castiel simply didn’t feel like being bit into at that moment so he held the creature at bay easily with one hand. The strength behind that grip made Dean feel completely insignificant and useless, but he was glad he was prevented from acting like a completely rabid animal at the very least.

When Castiel looked him in the eyes Dean wanted to cry. He knew he looked like a monster, snarling and hungry, but Cas just looked at him calmly as though nothing were different. There was definite concern in his eyes, but Castiel remained steady and comforting in his own weird way. “Dean.”

The angel’s voice seemed to weaken the insatiable hunger’s hold slightly, but it also caused Eve’s presence to stir in his mind and push forward. Despite being semi-dormant for several hours, she was suddenly very interested in the world through Dean’s eyes. When Castiel spoke again she was a clear and dominant presence. “I have something that can help you. But… but there are matters to discuss beforehand.”

Dean would have laughed if he wasn’t busy trying to pry Cas’ hand off his throat. Castiel was obviously strong beyond Dean’s comprehension, but his grip was relatively light compared to what he knew he was capable of. He knew damn well that if the angel wanted to he could rip his head off in the blink of an eye. If he were human Dean may have passed out from the lack of oxygen, but as it was it was only slightly uncomfortable and extremely inconvenient.

“Dean, I need you to get control of yourself.” The hunter’s eyes flared and he tried to talk, but Cas hand prevented him from making much more than a garbled choking sound. “Dean, I know it’s difficult, but I need you to be in control of your faculties for this conversation.”

Then Castiel’s wings flexed wide and Dean felt the familiar sensation of taking flight with the angel. They only traveled a few feet across the room, but now his back was pressed firmly against the wall of the panic room and it was clear that he wasn’t going anywhere any time soon. He was pinned under Cas’ superior strength. The angel placed his free hand at the base of Dean’s neck right at the shoulder and carefully released his throat with the other. Dean inhaled sharply out and habit, then growled at him.

“Dean, speak to me.”

“I need your blood Cas!” His response didn’t even sound remotely human, but he was long past caring. It was the truth. It was all he could think about. Blood. Blood. _Blood._ Eve wanted him to drink and he couldn’t fight her. He couldn’t.

“Not this time.”

“Why the fuck not?”

“What you are feeling, it’s an artificial hunger. It won’t be satisfied by any amount of blood.”

“Cas!”

“But it doesn’t have to be satisfied. I just need you in control enough to have a conversation. And then, with your permission, I will make it stop.”

Dean nodded weakly. He really couldn’t control himself, but he knew he had to try in order to make the pain go away. He trusted Cas more than words could describe and if he said they needed to talk first, well, they might as well do it. As long as Cas had him like this he really couldn’t do anything. “Y-yes,” he sputtered out, nodding his head just a little more forcefully. “Let’s talk then.”

“You need to understand that if I push Eve out of your head we will be psychically linked…”

“You’re already in my head anyway,” he snarled. He didn’t mean for it to sound so angry. He actually enjoyed their little psychic connection lately, but he just really wanted to get it over with… whatever it was.

“No, this will be different. You will be blocked off from all others, but you will also be irrevocably tied to me psychically.”

“What the fuck does that even mean, Cas?”

“You will hear me in your head much like you hear Eve now. You will feel my presence in your mind and you will hear me when I speak to others.”

“Whatever! Do it! Make it stop!”

“Dean…”

“What?”

“I’m at war!”

“Yeah, I got it the first ten times!”

“I am giving orders to thousands of soldiers at all hours of the day. And even if this war ends, I have no idea what will come next. The flow of information, it could very well drive you mad.”

Yeah, that did sound like a major headache, but it was still better than this. “Do it! I understand the consequences. For God’s sake, I get it. Just get her out of my head!”

“You will… hear things Dean. Unpleasant things.”

“DO IT!”

“Alright,” Cas said. It was then that Dean realized his grip had become nothing more than a comforting hand on his shoulder. Somehow Cas had managed to tame him, even with Eve’s stupid psychic intrusion. “There is one more matter to discuss.”

“Dammit! What?”

“Your psychic link with her, can you tell where she is right now from it?”

“What?” Dean honestly didn’t see that question coming and he’d never even considered it. “No! She’s just, like, _in my head._ I’ve got no control here, Cas. None.”

“Dean, are you sure?”

“Yes.” Even if he wasn’t sure, he didn’t want to try. He didn’t want to explore any part of it. Getting rid of Eve was important, but this wasn’t something he had any experience with and pushing that psychic boundary was just a little bit beyond his capabilities. You don’t just wake up with psychic powers and suddenly know how to use them. Especially against something that’s so much more powerful than you. “Just get rid of it now, Cas. Please.”

“Very well. I’ll return momentarily.” He disappeared and Dean fell forward slightly. He’d been so dependent on Cas for support he’d temporarily forgotten how to stand on his own two feet.

When Castiel returned on the other side of the room he was holding a bowl filled with a foul smelling dark liquid that made Dean wrinkle his nose in disgust. “I don’t have to drink that, do I?”

“No,” Cas said as he set it down on the table. He slowly dipped his fingers into the substance. “I cannot overpower Eve on my own. She is… she’s extraordinarily powerful. But this will help me gain the upper hand through physical contact. Consider it a conduit. It’ll strengthen my connection to her and theoretically give me the upper hand.”

 _“Dean, don’t let him do this…”_ Eve’s sudden desire to hop in on the conversation put Dean on edge even more than he already was. She knew what was coming and he really feared for Castiel. She was incredibly powerful and that terrified Dean to his core.

“Wait, am I about to have another monster-angel showdown in my skull?”

Cas removed his fingers from the bowl and approached Dean. “If I understand your phrasing correctly, yes, you will.”

_”You’ll be disconnected from me forever. Your family… none of us will…”_

“Can it, bitch! I want you out of my skull!”

Castiel flinched slightly, but he continued across the room until he was standing directly in front of him. “Are you sure about this Dean?”

_”Dean, this is a mistake! You don’t understand my intentions…”_

“Never been so fucking sure of anything in my entire life! Do it now Cas!”

The angel touched his fingers to Dean’s temples and the hunter immediately froze. Dean felt both of them in his head, but he was still able to remain present in the room instead of some artificial psychic landscape. He wasn’t sure if that was a blessing or a curse. Cas’ eyes were glowing with the golden hues of his grace and his wings flexed out across the room as though he were about to take flight. Castiel was beautiful and frightening at the same time.

Then he heard Castiel reciting Enochian in his head and he could _feel_ the dueling psychic entities pushing against one another. Surprisingly, he sensed Eve receding backwards towards that dormant place in the back of his mind. Once Cas cornered her there he paused and his chanting intensified. Dean still couldn’t move, but there was some sort of reassurance in his eyes that pushed Castiel forward. It was an unspoken encouragement, perhaps even verging on psychic, which was entirely appropriate given the situation at hand.

Then Cas’ eyes grew brighter, but Dean kept his eyes open, unable to move even his eyelids. When the blinding white lights of his grace exploded out of every orifice and filled the room Dean felt Eve’s presence vanish from his mind. It was replaced by the burning hot sensation of Cas’ grace both in his head and on his skin and in every fiber of his being. It filled him and soothed him and excited him in a way nothing ever had before.

When the light receded back into Cas’ vessel Dean felt like he could final move again. The heat slowly dissipated and his stiff muscles relaxed. The first thing he tried was to reach up and take hold of Cas’ arms, partly to steady himself and partly to reassure the angel that he was ok. When Cas slowly removed his hands from his face he felt a buzzing sensation left over in his skull. That must be Cas, he thought.

_“Can you hear me, Dean.”_

Dean didn’t have to see the angel’s lips to know that he hadn’t actually spoken. He could feel the voice in his head. Dean nodded. “Yes.”

_“Respond with your mind.”_

It frightened him to push that boundary, but he tried anyway. It had to be sort of like prayer, right? He concentrated on Cas’ presence in his mind and sent a single word at it. _“Yes.”_

”Good. One thing you need to know is that I won’t always sound like this.”

”What?”

“I’m using the sound that is created when I push through Jimmy’s vocal cords, but I do not use this voice when speaking to other angels. And I do not use English.”

 

Dean had to stop and think about that for a moment. He was going to hear Cas’ voice. His _true_ voice. But it was going to be happening almost all the time. He wasn’t quite sure how he felt about it, but at least Eve was gone.

_”I’m truly sorry for what you will be experiencing. I have no other choice.”_

“I agreed to it Cas.” His voice cut through the silence like a knife and only then did he realize they’d had the entire conversation through their minds. “I knew what I was signing up for…”

“But you may not understand…”

“Cas,” he said as he took the angel’s face in his hands. “Whatever happens… Whatever is about to happen to me it’s a lot better than having Eve in my head, ok? You’ve saved my life… again.”

Cas’ lips twitched into a slight smile, which was a rare occurrence for the usually stoic creature.  
“I only hope you feel that way the next time I see you.”

Castiel opened the door to the panic room with a thought and gave Dean a gentle kiss on the forehead before he disappeared. Dean was still shaken from the experience, but his hunger had subsided enough that he felt he could venture upstairs. As much as he was dreading it, Sam and Bobby had to know what had happened. He was listening the entire time and he knew Cas hadn’t conferred with them first. On the one hand, Dean was glad that Cas skipped the drama. On the other hand, that meant it was all up to him to have that discussion with them.


	18. Chapter 18

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dean tries to get used to his new psychic connection with Cas, even while taking on his first real case since Sam got his soul back.

Cas was right. The hunger had been artificial and he felt perfectly fine all things considered. He took a moment to adjust, but he quickly realized there wasn’t much to adjust to. With Eve’s presence gone he felt practically normal. The spot in the back of his mind where she had been felt vacant, but when he got to the stairs he felt Cas’ presence pulsate there and he paused. He heard a soft voice chanting Enochian, which was completely different from the high pitched screech he’d heard in the past that seemed to be Cas’ ‘true voice.’ He’d heard the sound before when Castiel had touched light fingers to his head and put him to sleep, but those sounds had been fleeting. This time it was continuous and lyrical and incredibly beautiful.

Suddenly Cas’ human voice cut through the sound. _”Dean, are you alright?”_

 _”Yeah,”_ he said, reflexively using his newfound psychic skill. He focused on the spot in the back of his mind that Cas’ voice seemed to be coming from and _sent_ his words to the angel. He wasn’t sure how he knew to do that, but he chalked it up to instinct again. _“That what it’s going to be like?”_

_“Mostly. Is it uncomfortable?”_

_“No,”_ he said, but he realized that wasn’t entirely true. _”Well, not exactly. It’s… distracting.”_

 _“I apologize,”_ Cas said, sounding incredibly regretful about the situation.

_“Chill out, we’ve been over this. I knew what I was getting into. Just… just stop worrying about me and stay safe.”_

There was silence in his mind for a moment, then Castiel presence pulsed again. _”Very well.”_

The Enochian chanting continued for another thirty seconds or so and when it finally subsided Dean continued up the stairs. If it was going to be like he would probably be ok. He wondered if knowing Enochian would make the whole process easier or harder. Now that he was essentially immortal he could probably learn the language eventually. But maybe Cas valued his privacy too much for that. It was yet another thing he’d have to talk to Cas about when the stupid angel war blew over. Now was not the time to take on any significant project.

When he entered Bobby’s living room both hunters shot up from the couch and stared at him wide eyed. Bobby quickly grabbed a rifle off the table and aimed it directly at Dean’s head, while Sam just continued to stare with a mix of horror and confusion. Dean held up his hands as a sign of surrender and froze. Obviously Cas hadn’t filled them in on the situation.

“Whoa, Bobby, it’s ok. I’m not Mommy’s little bitch anymore, ok?”

“And how can we be sure of that,” Bobby said.

“Look, Cas did this… thing. He pushed her out.” He gestured up towards his head. “This psychic thing, I don’t know how to explain it.”

“Why didn’t he do that in the first place?” Bobby lowered his gun slightly, but kept it aimed at Dean’s chest. He was clearly still unsure of the situation, which wasn’t exactly a surprise.

“Well, there’s a catch…”

“And what’s that?”

“Well, he’s in my head now, kind of. Or at least his voice is. The point is Eve is gone. She ain’t getting in here,” he said as he tapped a finger to his temple. Bobby cautiously lowered the gun to his side. “And why the gun? That’d just piss me off, not kill me. You should know that.”

“Goal ain’t to kill you, boy. It’s to slow you down.”

“So we’re good,” Sam said, taking a few steps forward towards his brother. “No more uncontrollable blood lust?”

“Well, not caused by her anyway,” Dean said. When he noticed Sam’s startled expression he desperately tried to remedy the situation. “Look, it’s manageable, ok? I’m not going to go crazy psycho killer on you in your sleep. I’d kill myself first.”

Sam and Bobby reluctantly accepted the answer. It was an uneasy situation, but they were able to cope well enough to carry on with life. For the next few days Dean and Sam played assistant to Bobby, helping to man the phones and do research for hunters out in the field. Dean wasn’t exactly thrilled with the job, but without knowing the full extent of his psychic connection it just didn’t make sense to head out on a case of their own.

Fortunately, Castiel’s presence in his mind was less intrusive than he’d suspected. He only felt him there when he spoke and it continued to be only mildly distracting. The lyrical cadence of Cas’ Enochian chanting sounded almost pleasant, but he knew he was giving orders in a war and that made it somewhat disturbing. The messages would only come every few hours, though, and they usually lasted less than a minute. Every time it’d happen he wondered what the heck was going on upstairs and hoped that Cas was safe.

A few days later the Winchester brothers headed out on their first case together since Sam’s soul was restored. There was a suspected Rugaru in Davenport, Iowa and it seemed like the perfect case to ‘get back into the game.’ Not only had they battled a Rugaru before, but Dean figured he has an edge since he technically wasn’t alive. If his theory proved correct, the creatures would have no interest in him. He was actually looking forward to using his skills on a case. He was almost excited, but he certainly wasn’t going to mention that to Sam. He figured it’d probably freak his brother out even more than he already was.

About an hour into their drive Dean heard Cas speaking again. _”Cas?”_

The angel sighed. _“What is it Dean?”_

_“Dude, did you just sigh? In my head?”_

_“Yes.”_

Dean laughed out loud and Sam looked over to his brother. “Dean?”

Dean gestured vaguely towards his temple. “I’m talkin’ to Cas.”

Sam was only slightly disturbed by that. Considering his own history with weird psychic powers, he didn’t feel like he had a right to judge it. He felt more left out than anything, so he just rolled his eyes and reclined his chair slightly. If Dean was going to have a private conversation he figured he might as well try to take a nap.

 _”I just wanted to know if you were ok,”_ Dean continued in his mind.

_“You don’t need to ask that every time, Dean.”_

Dean paused. _“Have I been doing that?_

_“Yes, Dean, and it’s very disrupting.”_

_“Oh, and I’m not distracted by this whole thing?!”_

“Dean,” Sam shouted, snapping his brother out of his little psychic spat.

“What?!”

“You’re going 90!”

“Shit!” Dean took his foot off the gas and let the car slow down to a humble 75 miles per hour. It wasn’t like Dean had never sped before, but speeding while preoccupied with a psychic lovers quarrel was probably a bad idea. “Sorry it’s just… Cas is being a dick.”

 _“Dean!”_ He could feel Cas pulsing with anger in the back of his mind, but he chose to ignore it. He was just concerned about Cas’ well-being. From his view he had every right to be.

“Maybe we should have spent a few more days at Bobby’s,” Sam said.

“No, I’m fine Sam.” Dean tried his hardest to ignore Cas for the rest of the trip. Whatever was happening upstairs seemed to have picked up in the last few hours. Cas’ messages were coming out every few minutes. He tried to keep his speed reasonable, but he was beyond frustrated. Something big was happening and he was completely clueless.

Then he heard a language that definitely wasn’t Enochian. _”Cas?”_

_“What?”_

_“What language was that?”_ Cas was quiet for a moment. _”Cas?”_

_“Gaelic.”_

Dean knew nothing about languages, but he had to hand it to himself for being able to spot something that wasn’t Enochian. He’d been hearing so much of it in just a few short days he was able to pick out specific words, even if he had no idea what they meant.

_”How many languages do you speak?”_

_“Seven hundred and forty two.”_

_“Shit!”_ Dean’s mind was blown. He knew Cas knew at least three languages and he ventured a guess that he knew a hand full more, but that was ridiculous. _”Do you know Klingon?”_

 _“No.”_ Cas sounded so serious Dean laughed out loud again.

Sam grunted. “I’m trying to sleep. Keep the laughing in your head, dude.”

“Sorry,” Dean said. “It’s just… shit, Cas knows seven hundred and forty two languages.”

Instead of nerding out about it, Sam just sighed and rolled up his jacket to use as a pillow. “That’s nice, Dean. I’m still human. I still need sleep.”

“Bitch,” Dean huffed.

“Jerk,” Sam said, giving his jacket a good punch before resting his head on it.

Dean continued listening to Cas’ messages for the next few hours. He briefly wondered if this was what it was like for Anna. This was like having Angel Radio, but he only got the one station. But hey, at least he could talk back. So maybe it was like having an Angel Walkie Talkie. But one of them was stuck in the ‘on’ position and he didn’t understand any of it. At least Anna knew what was happening, even if she didn’t know she was translating Enochian at the time.

Sam slept as Dean drove towards Iowa. Then a few minutes before sunrise Dean realized he hadn’t actually taken the whole sunlight thing into account when he set off the night before. It was a fourteen hour drive from Bobby’s to Davenport, which Dean would usually have done in one go. However they were only about halfway there when the first rays of light started to come over the horizon. Dean desperately fumbled with a pair of sunglasses and put them on the moment he knew what was happening. It was already starting to white out his vision even though the sky had barely begun to lighten up.

Twenty minutes later Dean pulled over at a motel and punched Sam in the arm to wake him up. “I’ve gotta get a room, alright?”

He didn’t bother waiting for an answer. Dean shoved open the door and practically ran to the check in desk. He got a strange look from the lady behind the counter due to the strange check-in hour, but he didn’t give a damn. He knew the sunlight couldn’t kill him, but it was too painful to voluntarily subject himself to. Even with thirty years of torture under his belt, it just wasn’t worth it. Everywhere the sun touched felt like it was literally on fire. When he got into his room he secured the curtains and settled in for a full day of absolute boredom. _This_ was the part of the gig he hated most. Even Cas couldn’t help this part of it.


	19. Chapter 19

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Cas and Dean take care of each other’s needs.

After taking a brief nap and a shower, Sam headed to a nearby library to do some research for Bobby. Since a Rugaru was a relatively simple hunt for the brothers, Bobby had asked him to put in some time on another case while he was stuck waiting for sunset. Apparently there’d been an upswing in monster activity recently and he needed an extra hand sorting out all the cases. Besides, Sam actually wanted to see the damn sunlight at some point that day anyway, so he was grateful for the excuse to get out of the motel room for a few hours.

Now Dean was left alone playing solitaire and watching some horrible local news show as he waited for the daylight hours to roll by. It was definitely not how he wanted to spend his day, but he didn’t really have a choice in the matter. Sam had taken his laptop with him and the pizza delivery menu certainly wasn’t going to provide much entertainment, so it was him and a deck of cards and some attractive news anchor named Jennifer. Even if the show was boring, at least she was hot. Thank God for small favors.

“Dean,” he heard Cas say, only his mind didn’t pulse with the words like it had before. It took him a second to realize what that meant. When he looked up from his cards he saw the angel leaning against the wall on the opposite side of the room looking completely shattered and disoriented.

“Cas?”

“I…” Castiel said as he stumbled forward.

Dean threw his cards down and caught the angel before he fell over. “Maybe you should sit down, dude.”

“Dean,” the angel whispered.

“What the fuck happened to you, man?”

Cas sat down on the edge of Dean’s bed, his wings disappearing into the mattress as they hung limply behind him. “I was weakened in battle.”

“Shit, Cas,” Dean said as he knelt on the floor in front of him. He quickly examined him for any wounds or injuries, but besides looking tired and distraught, he seemed to be in one piece. “The fuck did they do to you? You look like you’re about to pass out.”

“I just… I used up all of my energy, but,” he gulped hard and shut his eyes. “But I won.” He didn’t sound too happy about, which Dean figured was appropriate since he was fighting his brothers. As much as Dean hated most of the other angels, they were still his family and it had to hurt him to be at war with them.

After a moment Dean planted a kiss on Cas’ forehead, feeling it was the only appropriate way to express his solidarity with him at the time. Words couldn’t really convey how he felt just then. He wanted Cas to know he was there for him, that he loved him, and that he wanted him to be happy. It just seemed like the right way to say that without words. “I’m so sorry,” he said as an afterthought. At the very least he could verbalize his sympathy.

Then it dawned on Dean what Cas had actually said. “Wait, you said your energy is low, right?” When Cas nodded he continued. “Can’t you just recharge yourself,” he asked, pointing at his own chest vaguely where he thought his soul was.

“Dean, I don’t think you appreciate how dangerous that is.”

“No, I do. I could explode, blah blah blah, but dude, you’ve already exploded twice for me. How could I _not_ take the risk?” Castiel tried to resist again, but Dean cut him off before he could start. “No, look, I’m not going to stand by and watch you suffer like this when there’s a perfectly good solution sitting in my chest. You fucking pop up out of nowhere and let me rip into your throat, so I’m saying you’re going to stick your hand in my chest and feed _yourself_ now.”

Cas looked at him with disgruntled resignation. He wanted to argue more, but he knew it wasn’t going to get anywhere. Castiel knew the hunter too well. Then Dean suddenly got up and went for his duffle bag and Cas tilted his head in confusion. “What are you doing?”

“Your belt just didn’t work last time,” he said as he pulled out a block of wood and held it up triumphantly. He was actually smiling, which confused Castiel more than anything.

“Is that for you to bite down on?” Dean nodded as he took a seat next to him on the bed. “You planned for this?”

“I wasn’t sure you’d need to do it again, but I figured I’d need to be prepared just in case, you know?”

“Dean…”

“Cas, stop arguing,” he said as he took off his shirt and lay back on the bed. The removal of the shirt wasn’t necessary, but it was one less odd sensation to contend with. It reminded him of the way Cas’ wings disappeared through his trench coat. It was just _too weird_ and if he could infuse some normalcy into the act of having a soulonoscopy, well, he was going to do it.

He placed the block of wood between his teeth and waited for the angel to take the initiative. Castiel was hesitant, but eventually shifted on the bed so that he could have better access. He rested a hand just below Dean’s ribcage and held onto Dean’s mark firmly with his other hand. The angel told himself that he was merely trying to keep Dean flat against the mattress, but the truth of the matter was that he found touching the mark comforting. He sensed that it was the same for Dean and if neither one of them wanted to verbalize it then he was fine with that. Neither one of them was very good at verbalizing their feelings to begin with, so it was probably best left as an unspoken sign of trust between them.

As soon as he pushed into his chest, Dean’s teeth snapped out and dug into the wood, sending splinters deep into the vampire’s gums. Not only was he having an epically painful soulonoscopy, but now he had the taste of blood in his mouth. That certainly didn’t help the situation any. He could feel Cas hand reaching through his chest, sending waves of pain throughout his entire body and now his instincts were kicking into overdrive all because of those few droplets of blood. He just wanted it to end. Quickly.

Cas’ eyes began to glow again and his wings sprang to life behind him. He made eye contact with Dean and for several seconds they just stared at each other, knowing that at that moment they were as close to each other as they had been when Castiel pulled him from Hell. He could feel Cas’ grace inside him, caressing his soul, feeding off the energy, and soothing him on a spiritual level as his body was wracked with pain. Then Cas retracted his hand before his grace exploded out of every orifice again, not wanting to risk Dean’s life for a second longer than necessary. Besides, if Dean insisted on repeating it the least Cas could do was show some restraint.

Dean sat up immediately and clutched onto his abdomen where Cas’ hand just been. He spat the wood out and growled as the pain in his chest slowly ebbed away. Just like the torture he’d experienced in Hell, the pain hurt a little bit less the second time around. He knew what to expect and his body was coping with the repeated pain the best it could. He scolded himself for making the comparison since he was doing this voluntarily and for a just cause, but the comparison was apt. If anyone were uniquely qualified to experience an extreme amount of pain on a regular basis, it was him.

Unfortunately, the taste of blood in his mouth made the aftereffects too much to bear. Without thinking Dean jumped to his feet and slammed Castiel back into the wall so hard he left a Cas-shaped indentation in the plaster, but he was far too distracted to really care about the damage. Cas’ eyes were still glowing and he looked terrifying, but at this point Dean actually found that to be a turn on. Castiel could kill him with a touch, but he was letting him slam him against the wall and have his way with him. It was _ridiculous_. And it was _incredibly hot._

Dean pressed his body against Castiel’s, feeling the angel’s body heat spread throughout his own cold body. He didn’t think he could enjoy sex more than he already had, but Cas’ body heat was intoxicating and addictive and beautiful. Dean nuzzled Cas’ neck, gently scraping his sharp teeth over the angel’s warm skin, teasing him with his own sudden sense of self control. He wasn’t sure where the will power to not rip into his throat instantly came from, but he enjoyed being a tease so he used it to his advantage. To Dean’s surprise, Castiel bucked up into him with his hips and tilted his neck aside to encourage him forward. It wasn’t his place to question the angel’s kinks, so he responded with a slow and neat bite to his neck. He returned the thrust as the first gush of blood ran over his tongue.

For a moment both of their problems were forgotten. There was no Rugaru hunt, no war in Heaven and no Eve. There was just the two of them; an angel surging with the power of a human soul and a vampire running hot with angel blood clinging onto each other for dear life. The warmth and the friction between them were so intense Dean momentarily fooled himself into thinking he was alive again. And then there was the thrusting and Dean couldn’t stand having that much clothing between them anymore. This had to be fixed.

He yanked Castiel’s trench coat off and grabbed him by the lapels of his suit jacket. Then he threw him roughly back onto the bed and mounted him, a knee on either side of Cas’ thighs. Castiel’s wings momentarily disappeared through the mattress, but when Dean pulled him up into a sitting position by his tie they flared out wide on either side of the angel. They shivered with excitement and Dean knew Cas was just as eager as he was. Dean discarded his tie and took the jacket off with as much gusto as he did the trench coat, but when his fingers made it to Castiel’s top button on his dress shirt he paused.

It was then Dean realized he finally had the opportunity he’d been waiting for. He was going to see where the wings connected with the body for the first time. He hadn’t even asked Cas about it, so he had no idea what to expect. The wings themselves were a pretty big deal, but this was like the final mystery in angel anatomy and it felt important somehow.

He hadn’t even notice that Castiel had wrapped his fingers around his wrists until he spoke and snapped him out of his train of thought. “Dean?” He looked up at the angel, surprised by his own hesitation. “What’s wrong?”

“Nothing’s wrong. I just kind of got ahead of myself, I think.” He smiled, and only then realized his fangs were still out. Not only that, but he was pretty sure there was blood dripping down his chin too. Thankfully he was past feeling shame over that, but it still had to be quite messy and unattractive. All he knew was that he should retract his teeth before kissing Castiel because, as hot as their bloody kisses were, he just wanted to have one tender kiss to bring him back to earth. He needed to ground himself before going further because every instinct in him said that what he was about to do was a big deal.

He delivered the tender kiss as he resumed working on Castiel’s buttons. Even though the pace of the situation had slowed, Dean could hear that Cas’ heart was still racing at an impossible speed. He had no idea how badly Cas had actually wanted it before now, but the heartbeat didn’t lie in these situations. If Cas were human he probably would have suffered from a heart attack by now. But he wasn’t. Neither of them were and it was painfully obvious at that point.

When he undid the final button he ran his fingers up Castiel’s bare chest up to his shoulders. He slowly slid the shirt down his arms, savoring every inch of newly exposed skin until Cas decided to take the initiative and remove the shirt the rest of the way. Dean immediately closed his eyes. He wasn’t really sure why he did it, but it felt like an appropriate reaction. If he were honest with himself he’d admit that he was freaking out a little bit.

He let his hands rest of Cas’ lower back first, but he could already feel the bigger feathers brushing up against his arms. Then he cautiously moved his fingers up towards the shoulder blades until he met a very inhuman lumps of flesh jutting out from his back on either side of his spine. Castiel’s skin had been normal up until that point, but then it turned soft, like down feathers. He could still feel the human-like skin under them and the transition between vessel and wings felt entirely fluid and natural. It felt _beautiful_.

When Cas’ breath hitched Dean flinched and open his eyes. “Cas?”

The angel’s eyes were half lidded, but still glowing with Cas’ golden angelic light. His mouth was hanging open carelessly as though he was trying to hold back some embarrassing sound that was bubbling up to the surface. Instead of releasing that noise, he captured Dean’s mouth with his own and pulled the hunter closer. Dean’s grip on the base of his wings automatically tightened as his balance was thrown off kilter, causing Cas to moan into his mouth. The whole ordeal made the remaining layers of clothing even more unbearable for Dean, but he didn’t want to move his hands from those soft feathers. Judging by Cas’ reaction, he didn’t want his hands going anywhere either.

Cas’ own hands found their way to the front of Dean’s jeans. He undid them hastily and freed Dean’s straining erection. As soon as he made contact with it Dean moaned and thrust up into his hand. Meanwhile, Dean let his hands explore further along the lengths of the wings to explore the appendages with a new sense of control. The feathers got bigger and more firm the further he got away from their base and the skin beneath them felt entirely human. When Cas made another noise, Dean pulled back and smiled. “Is this, like, a turn on for you?”

Castiel was actually blushing and Dean let out a laugh. “It’s just… this is the first time anyone has touched my wings. It’s a new feeling.”

“First time ever? I knew you were a virgin, Cas, but your wings…”

“They are very personal. This is the first vessel I’ve ever taken, Dean. It’s not something I have experience with…”

“So it’s not just sex, but the whole wing and vessel thing is new to you?” Cas nodded and averted his eyes. The poor guy looked embarrassed and Dean attempted to infuse some confidence in him by resuming their kiss with a bit more fervor than before. Castiel didn’t skip a beat and soon they were grinding and groping at each other again like there had been no interruption. Cas wasn’t entirely confident in his actions, but he was more than willing to push himself

Dean let his fingers trace back over the sensitive down feathers again and then ran his nails along his spine down towards Cas’ waistband. To his surprise the leather belt was there again. With Cas’ weakened state he figured that was a low priority for his grace, but he supposed the angel did need to keep his pants up. It’d probably take more energy to keep them up with magic than it would have to fix the damn belt anyway, so he guessed it sort of made sense. Either way, the belt needed to go now. In seconds it’d joined Cas’ coat and shirt on the floor.

“Cas,” Dean rasped between kisses. “Get on your hands and knees.”

Cas pulled back slightly. The poor guy probably had no idea what that meant, but he had so much faith in Dean he obeyed. Dean stood up off the bed and removed his own jeans and boxers as Castiel turned himself over on the bed and posed stiffly on all fours. His wings were trembling so much Dean feared he was going to shake some feathers loose. He wondered if Cas even knew the mechanics of sex. Especially between two men.

The first thing Dean did was plant a gentle kiss on Cas’ back between the shoulder blades. The soft feathers brushed up against Dean’s stubble and Castiel moaned at the contact. The angel’s elbows gave out and he found himself bent over with Dean leaning over him pressed firmly up against his back. Dean trailed kisses down his spine, reveling in each little noise Cas made beneath him. Such a powerful creature making such helpless underneath noises did wonders to Dean’s ego and he smiled into the remaining few kisses.

He scrambled for the lube he’d kept in his duffle, thankful that it was within reach of him. He really didn’t want to lose contact with Cas just then, afraid that it’d somehow break the mood. He quickly slicked up his fingers and slid one digit in slowly. Cas tensed at first, but Dean continued to ease in slowly until the angel started to relax. When Cas had seemingly adjusted to the intrusion Dean pushed in with a little more force.

“Dean!” Cas slammed back against Dean’s hand and cried out. Dean leaned over him again and kissed the soft skin between his wings. He trailed his tongue up Cas’ spine up to his neck. There was still blood there, though the wound had long ago been healed. He licked at the remaining blood as he added a second finger. “Dean!”

Cas was writhing beneath him and his wings were flapping wildly. Dean found it odd that even though they couldn’t interact with anything in the room besides the two of them, the wings still managed to disturb the air enough to make the curtains ruffle. When Dean bit into Cas’ neck with his normal teeth they flailed even more wildly, threatening to rips the curtains from the window. “Dean!”

“Cas,” Dean whispered into his ear. “You ok?”

“I… I can’t control myself…”

Dean laughed and nuzzled his neck. “Fun isn’t it?”

“I’m not accustomed to losing control,” he said breathlessly. Castiel turned his head slightly and Dean was instantly taken in by their glow again. He subconsciously pressed his fingers deeper inside the angel forcing him to snap his eyes shut and cry out again. Apparently he’d found the sweet spot because the wings flexed as wide as they’d go and Cas went rigid beneath him.

Dean wasn’t sure when Cas’ angelic qualities became such a turn on to him, but between the eyes and the wings Dean couldn’t wait much longer to bury himself inside him. He inserted a third finger and worked him loose quickly before pulling out entirely. He grabbed the lube and slathered his own cock thoroughly before tossing the bottle aside.

Castiel’s wings had relaxed slightly, but when Dean placed himself at the angel’s entrance they trembled with anticipation again. Dean pushed in slowly, giving Cas’ body a moment to adjust with each new inch of himself. It _hurt_ going so slow, but considering how much pain they’d each been through already it seemed like a pretty minor discomfort. Besides, it’d hurt Castiel more if he went too fast right then anyway. His teeth came out at the same pace that he buried himself into Castiel and once he bottomed out they were fully unsheathed. He paused, gripped Cas’ hips tightly, and let them both adjust to the new sensations.

When he felt Castiel was ready he pulled out and slowly thrust back into him. Cas reached out and grabbed onto the headboard with one hand as he squeezed the pillow tightly with the other. The way Cas’ muscles flexed highlighted the bulging veins just beneath the skin and before Dean knew what he was doing he was sinking his teeth into the angel’s shoulder. When Dean bottomed out again the angel’s grip tightened and he inadvertently splintered the wooden headboard. However, neither of them were in a state to notice any sort of property damage. Otherwise they might have been concerned with the pool of blood on the bed. As it was, they were both completely lost in the act. And Dean was even more lost in the fact that Cas seemed to enjoy the pain. He’d never pegged the angel to be a masochist, but he certainly wasn’t going to complain about it.

Dean began to set a rhythm, using his teeth in Castiel’s shoulder as an anchor each time he pulled out and pushed back in. Cas called out his name every time Dean hit that spot inside him. Each time he thrust his teeth buried themselves deeper into the angel’s shoulder, but Cas continued to cry out with pleasure. The wings were flapping wildly now and he was pretty sure anything in the room that wasn’t weighted down was blown to the floor at that point.

Dean began pounding away frantically, unable to control himself anymore. He could feel the feathers against his chest and each time they moved against him he felt himself creeping closer and closer to completion. He reached around and grasped Castiel’s erection and began pumping him in time with his own thrusts. Castiel was crying out again and he soon felt Cas shake, tense, and come. As the hot liquid spilled over Dean’s hand he thrust in one more time and came deep inside the angel.

They were each frozen as the waves of pleasure surged through their bodies. When Dean’s post-orgasm haze began to clear he released Castiel’s shoulder and slowly pulled out of him. For a moment he sat awkwardly at the edge of the bed on his knees thinking of a way to maneuver around the wings to lay next to his angel. As if reading his mind (and that was a very real possibility), Cas rolled over onto his side letting one of his wings disappear through the mattress. He raised the other wing high above Dean and pulled him onto the bed beside him. He then blanketed his wing over the hunter and pulled him as close to him as possible.

They cuddled close to each other underneath the wing, but when Dean noticed the blood on the feathers he paused. “Cas, your wings…” Before he could finish his thought the blood was gone, including the terrible mess that they’d left on the sheets. “Thanks.”

Dean soon fell asleep cradled in Cas’ wing. He was warm, comfortable, and entirely satisfied in every way imaginable.


	20. Chapter 20

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dean and Sam continue their case, but Cas has a confession to make.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The season final aired at this time so I had to quickly make it a fix it fic.

Later that Dean woke up alone naked under the sheets. As soon as Cas’ war was over he was going to force the angel to stay longer because this was becoming a ridiculously obnoxious habit that needed to be broken. He should be able to wake up in his lover’s arms if he wanted to, dammit. And yeah, maybe that sounded a little girly, but fuck it, it was the truth. At least Cas had tucked him under the sheets before leaving and used his mojo to clean him up because a few seconds later he heard the door click and he knew his brother was back from wherever he’d been.

Sam came in and set a stack of papers down on the table, beginning to sort them into neat little piles as he started to explain whatever it was he was so damn excited about. His heart was about to beat out of his chest. “So, this Rugaru thing we’re on? It’s not an isolated incident. There’s apparently a monster outbreak all along the I-80 corridor. There are _four_ suspected Rugarus in Davenport, a bunch of ghouls in South Bend, a cluster of vampires Des Moines…”

Dean flinched at the word ‘vampire’ but Sam was too preoccupied with sorting out the paperwork to notice. Dean slowly sat up and looked around the room to find his clothes. Thankfully his boxers and jeans were within reaching distance and he slipped them on quickly as his brother’s back was turned. His shirt however, was another story. He started to scan the room for his missing piece of clothing.

Sam suddenly stopped shuffling the papers and stared at the body-shaped indentation in the wall. “What the hell happened there?”

“Oh, that,” Dean said as he spotted his t-shirt off the floor, truly impressed at how far across the room he’d flung it. “Cas dropped by.”

Sam turned around and glared at him as he scooped up his shirt and threw it on. “Dude! Tearing up Bobby’s house is one thing, but this place isn’t ours. You’ve gotta control that strength of yours.”

Dean just shrugged and took a seat at the table where the papers were piled. Sam had organized them by city going from west to east. The biggest stack was the one furthest east, so naturally that was the first one he picked up to investigate. “What’s with the murder in Sandusky?”

“So this guy, Rick, murdered his whole family with a hammer. Doesn’t remember any of it…”

“And what’s that have to do with the monster outbreak exactly?”

“He’s a truck driver. Guess where his last route was?”

“The I-80?” Sam nodded and Dean looked back at the article in his hands. “What the hell?”

“The last thing he remembers is picking up a girl at a truck stop. Next thing he knows he woke up with his entire family dead in front of him and blood on his hands.”

“Anyone talk to him yet?”

“Bobby’s heading out there after he checks out the gas station surveillance footage. If we can get this whole Rugaru situation taken care of in time we can rendezvous with him in Sandusky and see what’s up with it.”

“Sounds good,” Dean said as he grabbed a fresh set of clothing from his duffle. “Let me take a shower and we head out at sunset.”  
-

On the way to Davenport Dean heard Castiel’s true voice speaking in Gaelic again. He let the message finish before interrupting this time, though he was surprised at Cas’ sudden verbosity. He was talking for nearly a minute solid. “ _Who do you talk to in Gaelic, anyway?_ ” When Cas went several seconds without responding, Dean prodded further worried that something may have happened to him. _“Cas?”_

_“I don’t want to lie to you about this Dean.”_

_“Uh, good,”_ Dean said, suddenly very concerned with the direction the conversation was taking. “ _Then tell me the truth?”_

_“Not now Dean. It’s… it’s something I’d rather tell you in person.”_

_“Cas?”_

_“Just trust me. Please. I will tell you everything as soon as I can.”_

Dean didn’t like this, but he did trust Cas. He trusted him more than words could say and he desperately wanted to give Cas a chance to explain. It hurt him deeply that his angel, his _lover_ , would have something he’d want to keep something from him, but he wanted to give him a chance.

 _”Fine,”_ he replied. _”Fine, but you keeping something from me is a pretty big fucking deal.”_

_“I know. But can we please do this in person.”_

_“Yeah, we’ll be pulling into Davenport in about two hours.”_

_“I’ll come when I can.”_  
-

Sam had slept for most of the drive. Dean wondered if this was how life was going to be now. They’d only drive at night because that’s all Dean could do and Sam would be forced to either sleep in the Impala or be nocturnal with him. It was a less than desirable situation, but it was yet another thing Dean didn’t have a choice about. When they pulled into Davenport just before 3:00am Sam shuffled to the motel room and passed out on the bed, but Dean had different plans. He still had just under four hours until sunrise and he was going to make use of his time. A nice walk through town would both let him scope out the potential Rugarus’ location and give Cas plenty of opportunity to drop by.

_”Cas, you busy?”_

_“Um, yes.”_ There was a brief pause and when Castiel continued there was a hint of sorrow in his voice. _”It’s not that I don’t want to come. I do, but I’m on a battlefield.”_

_“What, right now?”_

_“Yes.”_

_“Jesus, Cas. Just ignore me and don’t get hurt. Come when you can.”_

Dean found his way to a cemetery that was near one of the victim’s houses and decided to take a stroll. Even before becoming a vampire he found cemeteries oddly comforting. They’d usually wind up in one at the end of a hunt where they’d perform a salt and burn. He had a lot of good memories of sharing some beers over a burning bones and celebrating a job well done, which yeah, made his life pretty fucking weird. But now with his new circumstances maybe the whole ‘hang out in a cemetery’ thing was a bit too cliché. And yet he continued to roam through the headstones until he found one with a wide enough top to be a comfortable seat.

For hours he sat there listening to the sounds of the neighborhood around him. Some unfortunate neighbors were getting up long before sunrise to head off to work while some lucky youngsters were just arriving back home after a night of partying. There were at least two hundred heartbeats within a mile radius of where he was sitting, but there wasn’t even the faintest whiff of any non-human entities. No vampires. No ghouls. Certainly no Rugarus. There were some squirrels, though, and several house pets nearby.

When the sunrise was only ten minutes away he decided he’d better head back to the motel. It was at least a fifteen minute walk away, which meant he’d already have to subject himself to five minutes of excruciating pain as he made his way back home.

_”Dean, where are you?”_

_“That’s horrible timing, Cas.”_

_“Should we meet at another time?”_

_“No, trust me, we need to get this out of the way as soon as possible. I’m in a cemetery in Davenport just off the I-80.”_

When the angel appeared in front of him Dean stood from the headstone and greeted him with a passionate kiss. Castiel froze in his hands, taken back by the warm greeting when he’d assumed he was walking into a fight. Dean’s hands buried themselves in his hair as he tilted his head for better access. When they finally parted Castiel tilted his head. “Dean?”

“What?”

“What was that for?”

“What? I was just saying hello.”

“I thought we were meeting to discuss my transgressions.”

Dean rolled his eyes at Cas’ wording. “Even more reason for me to greet you like that.” When Castiel stared at him questioningly Dean elaborated. “I mean, if you’re about to pour out your heart and soul here, I need you to know beforehand that I love you.” Cas looked away, unable to look Dean in the eyes, but Dean forced his face back towards him to make eye contact. “I love you, ok? And nothing you can say is going to change that. I’d be fucking lost without you.”

“Dean,” Cas said under his breathe, eyelids fluttering shut under the weight of Dean’s words. They made what he had to confess even more difficult to say.

Just then the first rays of sunlight started to spill over the horizon. “Fuck,” Dean muttered. “I’ve gotta get somewhere out of the sunlight, Cas.”

Dean felt the world snap around him, but instead of ending up somewhere indoors he was transported to what looked like a beach. He looked around him and realized it wasn’t just a beach, but an extremely small island in the middle of nowhere. He couldn’t see any hint of another landmass for miles and miles around them. Then Dean’s eyes met the sky and his jaw dropped.

“Oh my god…” He knew Cas was smiling at his words, but he was too enthralled by the night sky to look at him and confirm it. This was the first time he had an opportunity to look at the stars with his enhanced vision without light pollution from city lights or cars on the road. He could see the purples and greens that he’d only ever seen in long exposure photographs, but he was seeing them with the naked eye. It reminded him of the sky along the Axis Mundi, but far more calm and less nauseating. “Where the fuck are we, Cas?”

“A small island in the south Pacific. We have many more hours until sunrise. I figured we could use the extra time.”

“Why not just zap us back to the motel room.”

“I’d rather have this conversation in private.”

“Well, you can’t get much more private than this.”

“Dean,” he started, but he faltered and averted his eyes again. Dean didn’t let him look away for long though, managing to capture his gaze again with a simple swoop of his head. “Talk to me Cas.”

“I lied to you, Dean,” he started. He took in a deep breath, locking their gazes in a way that terrified the angel. He couldn’t get the words out. He couldn’t even speak. Finally, he whispered. “Crowley is alive.”

Dean felt like his world had been shattered. He had to have misheard him. He couldn’t have said that Crowley was alive. That would mean Castiel had lied, which was bad on its own, but he’d lied to his face about killing a perceived enemy. And he’d done it after they’d become… whatever it was they were now. Lovers. Partners. Dean was devastated beyond belief and he barely managed to sputter out a response. “The Gaelic… you were talking to Crowley? I thought we were on the same side here.”

“We are Dean. We are on the side of stopping the apocalypse from beginning again.”

“You _lied_ to me.”

“Dean, I had to.”

“Why? Why the _hell_ did you keep something this fucking important from me.”

“If you knew about it Crowley would have tried to eliminate you. I was trying to protect you.”

“Yeah, they’d have _‘tried.’_ I don’t doubt for a second that you could take down Crowley and his goons…”

“You over estimate my abilities.”

“Do I? You knocked Eve clear out of my skull and she’s way more powerful than Crowley.”

“The only reason I was able to do that was through intense Enochian spell work and an exploitation of our already existing bond. Without those two elements she’d still be ‘in your skull.’”

Dean didn’t really have a response to that. He was knew to the whole psychic thing and even though he wanted to know more (and really? When did that happen?) he knew that Castiel was clearly the expert in that field. “Why are you teaming up with Crowley? Last I checked he wanted me dead and wanted to fuck around with Purgatory.” Then a thought dawned on him. “Wait, are you with him on this whole Purgatory thing?”

“Dean, wait, you need to listen to me…”

“Siding with a demon, Cas? _That_ demon? Cas…”

“I said listen to me!” Cas growled and picked Dean up by the collar of his shirt. For the first time since he’d revealed himself as a vampire to Castiel he felt like the angel might actually smite him. “How could you think that?!”

“Reading my mind again?!”

“I’m in your head Dean! You gave me permission to be there!”

“Well maybe I should revoke your privileges!”

A second later Dean found himself crashing into the ocean a few hundred feet from the island. Cas was nowhere around, which Dean assumed meant that he’d been thrown, but he honestly couldn’t remember how he’d gotten there. His feeling of betrayal ran deep, but during the swim back to shore he was able to collect his thoughts well enough to re-enter the conversation with a clear head.

Castiel was sitting on the sand staring at his shoes. He looked even more devastated than Dean felt, but the angel was trying to hide it behind an angry expression that just looked far too forced. Dean sat down on the beach a couple of feet away from him and stared straight out at the ocean. “Then start talking. I’m listening…”


	21. Chapter 21

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The part in my AU season 6 where Dean and Cas TALK.

“When I returned to Heaven, Raphael gave me an ultimatum; bow to him or die. His plan was to restart the apocalypse. I and many others were adamantly opposed to this, but Raphael is far more powerful than any of us. With Gabriel dead and Lucifer and Michael locked away, he’s all that’s left of the archangels. I didn’t stand a chance so I…” Cas faltered. He looked up at the sky, wishing his father had answered his prayers after the apocalypse and wishing that he’d received a sign… some guidance… anything… It wasn’t too late for God to answer his prayers. He _could_ still be listening.

But when nothing came, he resumed his story with a waver in his voice. “I went to you, Dean, but I didn’t want you to abandon the life you had…”

“Cas, I-“

“Just listen, Dean.” When Dean looked over at Castiel they got caught in another unbreakable stare and he couldn’t help, but respect his wishes. “Just please listen to me…”

Dean closed his mouth even though his mind was racing with a million thoughts and let the angel continue with his confession. “But before Raphael could destroy me Crowley approached me with a proposition. We open Purgatory together and split the souls.”

“Cas! What the fuck…”

Cas ignored the interruption this time and turned his gaze back toward the sky. “The human soul is powerful, Dean. You’ve seen what yours alone could do to me. With the strength of thousands I could defeat Raphael and his followers and prevent the apocalypse from happening again. Free will could be preserved and the world could continue on without Armageddon.” Castiel lowered his head and closed his eyes. He heard Dean shifting on the sand nearby, but he couldn’t even bring himself to look over at him. When Dean got on his knees in front of him, Cas cautiously looked up and met Dean’s determined eyes. He looked like he was on the verge of crying, but he was strong enough to just barely hold it together, gathering all of his strength in an effort to do whatever it was he was about to do.

“Cas, now you need to listen to _me_ , ok?” When Cas gave the most subtle of nods Dean took Cas’ hands in his own and held on tight. “When Sam… when he needed power, he turned to demon blood, and do you remember how hard we fought to keep him away from it? How much we tried to get him to see what he was doing was wrong?” Castiel’s nodded slightly again and Dean continued. “When I… when I need strength I could have turned to feeding on humans, but I fought against it even when everything inside of me wanted it.”

“Dean…”

“Your turn to shut up, Cas. It’s only fair.” Cas did as he was told, but his eyes had a hint of anger behind them that should have terrified him. Dean took a deep breath. “The human soul, Cas… it’s important. It’s not currency. It’s not fuel. It’s important and even if you can use it to stop Raphael it doesn’t mean that you should.”

“Then what do you propose I do?!”

“We’ll think of something! We always do, Cas.”

“The last time you ‘thought of something’ Sam ended up in Lucifer’s cage. I don’t want to sacrifice another human for this cause…”

“No sacrifices? What are you doing with the souls, Cas? What do you call that?”

“They aren’t destroyed, Dean. I would merely feed off their energy…”

“… and what happens to them in the meantime, huh?”

“They would remain safe inside of me.”

“Cas, just think about that for a moment.” Cas went quiet, but Dean could tell his mind wasn’t exactly going to change. He was losing this battle. Dean took another deep breath and squeezed the angel’s hands even tighter. “Cas, my memory back. I want the memory of when you pulled me from Hell.”

Cas eyes went wide. “What?”

“You’ve got to be able to do that, right? You remember it, don’t you?”

“I remember it, Dean. You don’t. I shielded you from it.”

“Then give me _your_ memories.” Castiel just stared at him with a mix of shock and confusion, unable to understand why Dean was asking him this. “Come the fuck on, you can walk around in my dreams, kick out Mama Monster, shield me from remembering the first time we met and you can’t pass on a couple of your own memories?”

“That isn’t it, Dean. I’m perfectly capable of doing that, but the experience would be far too intense for you.”

“That’s the point! It’s intense. Touching a human soul is intense and I can fucking see it in your eyes, _literally see it in your eyes,_ that you are overwhelmed by it and I want to know how you can understand that and still want to cram thousands of souls into you. I want to feel what you felt when you saved me and have a fucking glimpse at what you’re up against. I fucking love you Cas and I need to understand you.”

“I didn’t feed off of your soul, Dean… not then. I just held onto you. It’s very different.”

“You ‘just’ held onto me. So that means taking a soul into you is even more intense, right?” Cas just looked down at his shoes again. That was enough confirmation for him. “I’m fucking right and you know it. Now give me the damn memories.”

When Cas looked back up at him he could actually see tears in Dean’s eyes. He couldn’t deny Dean. It was a weakness. He could argue with him for hours, but in the end he’d always give in to Dean. Maybe Uriel had been right so many years ago. His love for Dean was getting in the way of what was important, but fuck it all, it was the truth and he couldn’t even pretend that it wasn’t anymore.

Before Dean knew what was happening Cas was shoving him backwards into the sand and straddling his hips to hold him down. Castiel had his hand gripped firmly over the handprint and glaring down at him with such an intensity he wasn’t sure if he was going to get smote, fucked, or whammyed. Maybe all three at the same time, he wasn’t really sure anymore.

“Dean, I warned you this would be intense,” he said as he gently placed two fingers to his temple. “I will not take responsibility for your reaction.”  
Then Dean’s vision went dark.  
-

Dean saw the pits of Hell through angel eyes, which wasn’t all that different from his own experience in the pits. The flames burned slightly brighter and the smell of sulfur was just a little more overpowering, but the demons gruesome faces were just as jarring as they were when Dean first woke up in Perdition. A demon without a meatsuit was an ever changing humanoid form made of the blackest smoke he’d ever seen and he’d be perfectly happy to go the rest of his life without seeing it again. The clouds of smoke he’d seen whizzing through the air both before and since his time in Hell didn’t do the demon’s true forms any justice for just how wretched they were.

The most disturbing part of the whole experience was the familiarity of the hallway he was standing in. The large metal door in front of him led to the room he’d tortured souls in for a decade and in front of it were the ashes of the two demons that were assigned to guard him. He’d gotten to know those demons well over the years and he’d never once even considered their fate after he was brought back. Now he knew they’d been smote by his lover and he really couldn’t contend with the overwhelming emotions that came with it. He’d _hated_ them and Castiel had destroyed them as they stood watch over him. He knew Cas had fought through Hell for him, but seeing it was an entirely different story.

When the door metal door crumbled he saw his own soul. Though it was still shaped like his body had been but pierced with hooks and chains that had once been used to torture him and keep him suspended above the fires of hell. Now he held the scalpel and he was covered in the blood of the souls he’d taken the knife to. His eyes were hollow and sunken and his expression was blank from the years of torture. The moment his soul turned toward the door to investigate the noise his own memories halted and he became entirely dependent on Castiel’s perception of events. He remember the noise and then he remembered his coffin and the space between was a complete mystery.

Dean felt Cas determination as he rushed forward and gripped Dean’s soul as tightly as he could. Castiel’s grace burned at the point of contact, but it also pulsed with an essence that was simply _Dean._ It was beautiful and warm and inviting and he could feel Castiel changing as his soul pulsed with emotions. He wondered if this was the moment the angel started to feel emotions of his own because the mix of feelings coursing through him at that moment was stronger than anything he’d ever felt before. They couldn’t have been Dean’s and Dean’s alone. _Something_ was stirring inside Castiel and it was so intense that the angel paused to compose himself before continuing with his mission.  
When Castiel pulled him close he transformed from his human form to a small ball of glowing light that Castiel held tightly to his chest. The power of Dean’s soul was obviously overwhelming the angel, but he pushed forward through the hordes of demons and flew at an impossible speed toward Dean’s grave. The world rushed below them at a breakneck speed and even with Castiel’s enhanced perception Dean couldn’t make out a damn thing on the ground. But he felt the angel spreading his wings far and wide as he soared above the clouds, feeling the air move through his incorporeal wings for the first time on earth.

When they landed Castiel flew clear through the dirt until they’d reached Dean’s corpse. As he placed Dean’s soul back into his body he gripped him tightly on the shoulder and regenerated every last cell with every ounce of his strength. Dean’s body transformed from the months old rotting corpse to a being that was completely new and healed… and surprisingly _perfect_ in the angel’s eyes. The only blemish on his skin was the handprint, which Dean now learned was left there on purpose. When Cas removed his hand he nearly reached back down and healed him, but he felt an attachment to it. It was an attachment that no angel should have been capable of feeling, but it was there. Castiel retracted his hand and disappeared.

The memory ended then, but when Dean came back to reality Cas was panting heavily and gripping his shoulder so tightly Dean was sure he’d have been bruised if he were still human. For a moment he wondered if the experience had only been overwhelming for the angel, but when he took stock of his own condition he realized he was shaking violently beneath him. Then his stomach churned and he coughed up blood uncontrollably. It wasn’t unusual for Cas’ clothing to be tarnished with blood, but very rarely was it the result of anything other than a violent battle.

Dean pushed Castiel off of him and he rolled over to finish his retching on the sand. He was sure he’d thrown up at least a gallon of blood and it just kept coming like a dam had broken. He vaguely felt a hand on his back rubbing up and down as some sign of reassurance, but he was too preoccupied with the violent convulsions his body was currently experiencing to give it a second thought. These memories had never been meant for humans… or vampires… or anything other than an angel really. Castiel had been right to protect him from it the first time, but he had no regrets asking for the memories to be transferred. His suspicions on the effects of a human soul on an angel had been confirmed and once he was done vomiting they were going to need to talk again.

When Dean felt the convulsions slowly subsiding he rolled over onto his back and was surprised when Castiel ran his hands through Dean’s hair in an attempt to sooth him. “Thought you said you weren’t going to be responsible for this…”

“I lied,” Castiel said with a smile.

Just then the first rays of light began to fill the sky and Dean knew his time on the island was coming to an end. A few seconds later Dean felt the world around him snap again and the tropical island around him was gone.


	22. Chapter 22

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dean and Cas KEEP TALKING TO EACH OTHER.

>Once again Dean found himself _not_ back in his motel room. This time they were on desert hilltop overlooking an unfamiliar bustling city that was slowly winding down for the evening. “Where the hell are we now?”

“Jerusalem.”

“And why the hell are we in Jerusalem,” Dean asked, wiping the droplets of blood from his lips with the back of his hand. He spat out the remaining liquid in his mouth and was extremely grateful that regurgitated blood didn’t even set off the slightest bit of hunger in him. He was actually quite disgusted by it. Thank God for small favors.

“It’s familiar to me,” Cas said as he looked out over the cityscape. He’d been there so many times throughout the past few years for various artifacts and weapons that it felt like a second home on Earth to him. His first home on Earth was wherever Dean Winchester happened to be. The location part of it didn’t matter.

“That’s nice, Cas,” Dean said sarcastically as he took a seat on a nearby boulder. If he couldn’t get back to his room the least he could do is relax a little. He was still too exhausted from their little psychic adventure to stand on his own two feet. “But I mean why didn’t you take me home? Sam’s going to pitch a fit.”

“We have more to talk about.”

Dean wasn’t exactly happy with the way the conversation had ended, but honestly he just wanted to sleep. He was drained physically, mentally, and emotionally and he honestly wasn’t sure he could take much more of anything. The ride back home might even be too much. “Cas, unless you’re going to change your mind about this Purgatory business I don’t know what else I’m supposed to say to you. You _know_ how I feel.”

Just then Dean’s cell phone buzzed. Then it beeped a few times and he knew he had a ton of messages from the past few hours. Unsurprisingly, all three texts and the voicemail were from Sam. His brother was pretty pissed, but Dean didn’t really have a chance to let him know where he was going. He punched a response into the phone, but his train of thought was interrupted by the whispered Enochian in his head.

He’d gotten use to the sound, but this was the first message Castiel had sent out since things between them had gotten tense. It was a painful reminder that Cas was a part of him now even if they were mad at each other. It was also the first time he’d been present with him as he sent messages to the other angels and if he didn’t know what was happening he probably wouldn’t have known that Cas was distracted. Cas looked completely normal standing there looking out over the landscape.

Dean was just incredibly grateful the message wasn’t in Gaelic. “Why the hell do you speak to him in Gaelic anyway? He speaks English.”

“We… we use to speak in his primary language, but…”

Dean was surprised at how horribly uncomfortable he looked. His hands were in his pockets and he was staring down at the ground as though he’d find some answers buried beneath the sand. Fuck, in Jerusalem that was actually a possibility, but that probably wasn’t the case this time. Then it dawned on Dean what exactly was making Cas so uncomfortable. “It’s because of me isn’t it? You needed to be sure I didn’t know what was happening.”

“I’m sorry…” Castiel said letting out a large huff of air he’d been holding. “If I could have told you sooner I would have.”

“You could have, Cas.”

“I couldn’t and I’ve explained this to you.”

“Cas, you should have asked for help. If you would have come to me in the first place we could have figured something out and you wouldn’t be trapped in a deal with a demon. I _know_ what making a deal with a demon is like, remember? This isn’t going to work out for you. This plan… you just have to back out, Cas.”

“I can’t stop, Dean,” he said, refusing to look over at his lover. “I’m too far into this. If I stop now we lose against Raphael…”

“No, we won’t Cas. We can help! _I_ can help!”

“You can’t, Dean. They’d kill you in an instant.”

“It’s not like I’ve never tangoed with angels before Cas. Remember who ganked Zachariah?”

“This is different. Raphael is an archangel. He’ll destroy you with a… a snap of his fingers.” The last words were spoken quietly, as though even the mention of it brought back the pain from his two experiences being torn up by an archangel. Dean didn’t want to bring up those memories again. He hated seeing Castiel in this much pain already.

“Yeah, I get it Cas, but I’m not going to let you do this.” Dean got up and stood in front of Castiel to be sure he had the angel’s full attention. “I felt what’s it’s like to touch a soul. I felt how it changed you. One soul is enough to change you forever. What the hell are thousands of them going to do? Thousands of souls from _Purgatory_ to make things extra fucked up! You can’t fucking do this Cas. I’m not going to let you.”

“Dean, you can’t stop me.”

Dean paused, knowing full well that Castiel had a pretty damn good point. He couldn’t _make_ Castiel do anything. He couldn’t even threaten him because he just meant to damn much to him to do that. All Dean could do was appeal to his sense of humanity. He knew Castiel still had it in him. He wouldn’t have risked so much to keep Dean alive if he’d lost it. “If I find another way, will you abandon this deal with Crowley?”

“There is no oth-“

“ _IF_ I find a way,” he interrupted. He cupped the angel’s face in his hands. Castiel turned his gaze back down to the dirt until Dean gently ran his thumbs over his cheeks. When their eyes locked again Castiel was unable to look away. “And believe me, I will find another way,” Dean said.

Castiel exhaled again, a human quality that gave Dean hope that things could be saved. “Then yes, I would. But there is no other way, Dean. If there was I’d have found it by now.” Dean let go of Castiel and pulled out his phone. He started punching something into it again and Castiel tilted his head in confusion. “What are you doing?”

“Giving Sam and Bobby a heads up about the situation,” Dean said. When he glanced up Castiel had a look of horror on his face and Dean realized he’d worded that very poorly. “Not your deal with Crowley, Cas. I’m not going to fucking tell them that. Not now, anyway. They wouldn’t understand. We just need to prioritize this Raphael thing.”

“I’ll need to put up sigils at Bobby’s house.” It made Dean smile that Cas was actually considering this, but he knew that if they didn’t find something Cas would push forward with his deal. “If Raphael knows you are helping me you’ll become targets. I wish you wouldn’t put yourself in danger on account of me…”

“Says the guy who went to Hell and blew up twice for me,” Dean said as he punched in the last few words of his message.

“What are you going to tell them?”

Dean hit send and put the phone back in his pocket. “I told them if we don’t find a way to stop Raphael the apocalypse will start again. Seems like a legit reason to put Eve on the back burner. There are a ton of other hunters working on that case. I can skip out on this one hunt.”

“You’d be more useful against Eve.”

“Maybe, but I don’t fucking care. I’m not going to have you sacrifice yourself like that.”

“It’s a risk I’m willing to take.”

“And I’m not!”

They stared at each other for a minute, coming to an understanding with each other in the silence. Neither of them wanted to sacrifice the other, but they were each more than willing to sacrifice themselves. The only option left was to rely on each other and trust each other and hope that neither of them would get hurt in the process. And though Dean felt betrayed he still trusted Cas. He knew that the angel wouldn’t have lied unless he truly felt it was necessary and he was very obviously pained by it. Still, it would take time for Dean to heal. It felt like Cas didn’t trust _him._

“I do trust you, Dean.”

“Dammit, Cas, stop with the mind reading.”

“You’re difficult to tune out, Dean. You think… loudly.”

“Well, then you know exactly how I feel.”

Castiel lowered his eyes and spoke in a tone so soft Dean might not have heard him without his supernatural sentences. “You’re not going to like what’s going to happen next.”

Dean’s head filled Gaelic and he tensed. Cas was talking to Crowley again and Dean wished they could call off the deal right then and there. But that wasn’t the agreement so he just had to suck it up.

“Why are you still speaking in Gaelic?”

“I told you. If he knows you are aware of our arrangement he will try to kill you. I’d rather not have to divide my time any more than I already am.”

“I can take care of myself, Cas.”

“You will have an archangel after you as soon as they find out you’re helping me. I’d rather not have the King of Hell after you as well. I can only do so much.”

Dean sighed. “So basically the only people that know what’s happening so far are you and me.”

“That’s what it looks like.”

“Fuck, my whole life is one huge conspiracy anyway. I should be used to keeping secrets by now.” Dean ran his hand through his hair and looked off into the distance. He was really tired of having to hide so much from so many people. The only people who really knew him anymore were Sam, Cas, and Bobby. And now he had to keep a secret about one of them from the other two.

“Dean… there’s more I need to tell you.”

“More?”

“I pulled Sam from Perdition.”

“What? But you didn’t… I mean, you meant to bring his soul back too, right?”

“Of course, Dean,” he said, obviously saddened that he’d even think there was a possibility that he didn’t mean it. “I didn’t know what had happened until I examined him in the Panic Room. I did it for you. I didn’t mean to… I feel awful, Dean. It was an accident-“

Dean cut off his words with a kiss. Castiel was surprised by the action, unsure if Dean would ever really understand how truly sorry he was for his mistake. But Dean’s kiss made Castiel relax a little and they each hesitantly wrapped their arms around each other. Cas’ heart was about to beat out of his chest and he knew that Dean was aware of that. Castiel had never been so doubtful about himself in his entire existence. He felt like he was losing himself.

When their kiss broke Castiel took a deep breath. “Dean, do you… do you forgive me for my transgression?”

Castiel looked so dejected and scared. Dean’s first instinct was to pull his lover into a tight hug and damn he was really glad the line between instinct and action had blurred since he’d been turned because he might not have done it otherwise. “I fucking love you, Cas. You know that.”

“But do you forgive me?”

Dean tightened the embrace even more as he took a moment to think about it. “Just give me time Cas… just… please understand. I love you, ok? I’m just… not good at this stuff…”

A moment passed before Castiel spoke again. Dean really wasn’t use to such a meek voice coming from such a powerful being, but the whole ordeal seemed to have knocked the wind out of him. “I do. I’ll respect your wishes.”

They pulled apart just enough to look at each other. Castiel looked so broken, but Dean knew he didn’t look too great himself. In fact, he was pretty sure he had tears streaming down his face and blood on his lips and he really just wanted to disappear for a while. Instead, he knew he had work to do. “You should probably get me to Bobby’s. I don’t want to waste time.”

Castiel nodded and the two of them vanished from the hillside.


	23. Chapter 23

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dean tries his best to come up with another plan to stop Raphael so that Cas doesn’t have to sacrifice himself. When he meets up with his angel again they come to an agreement.

Since both Sam and Bobby were out on cases, Dean had the entire house to himself. He’d already read through every book about angel’s that Bobby had, but he still gathered them all and laid them out on Bobby’s coffee table for review. He skimmed through them looking specifically for information on archangels, even though he was pretty sure that if there was anything useful in there Bobby would have found it by now. At least it provided a great opportunity for Dean to brush up on the subject since it looked like his attention would be focused on that from now on.

Just as Dean had decided to move on to the Internet for answers Sam called. Apparently he’d met up with a couple of other hunters and taken out the Rugaru problem in Iowa, but he needed to rendezvous with Bobby in Sandusky. “Do you think Eve’s there?”

“I don’t know, but something’s there,” Sam responded. “Bobby says it’s something we’ve never seen before.”

“Fuck, Sam, I wish I could be there.”

“Yeah, well, I understand. We have two major problems on our hands right now. You’ve gotta protect Cas. I get it.”

Sam had no idea how much Dean was actually protecting him. Dean wanted to confide in Sam about what the angel was doing, but he knew Cas would be viewed in a pretty bad light by them. It wasn’t as though Sam never made any regrettable decisions in his life, but he wasn’t sure how forgiving his brother would be of Castiel in this situation. Even Dean was having a hard time coping with the information and he was in love with the guy.

“Dean?”

“What?”

“You got really quiet. You ok?”

“No, Sam, I’m not. I’m trying to figure out how to gank an archangel. I’ve trapped him in holy fire before, but I doubt I’ll get him to fall for the same trick twice. He shows up and I’m smote before I can flick my lighter.”

“Well, then try something else.”

“Like?” Now it was Sam’s turn to be quiet. “Exactly.”

“I guess you should get back to it then. You sure the sigils are going to keep you safe?”

“Yeah, Cas can’t even get in… which sucks, but you know, gotta do what you gotta do.”

When the conversation ended Dean hung up turned back to the computer. He checked all the usual reference sites online, but there wasn’t anything there that he didn’t already know. He punched in hundreds of combinations of terms in the hopes of finding something new, but it was also of no use. He was surprised at how much he already knew about angels already. Unfortunately that meant he’d have to take what he knew and build on it. But at that moment he really didn’t have any ideas. He just needed some fresh air, even if he didn’t need to actually breathe.

Dean stood at the back door of Bobby’s house and prayed to Cas. The angel arrived just a few feet away from him on the porch and immediately scanned the surroundings. “It’s safe,” Castiel said as he turned his attention back toward the hunter. Dean took a cautious step out of the door and took a seat on the steps. Castiel sat beside him and they looked out over Bobby’s junkyard together in silence.

Several minutes passed where neither of them wanted to say a word. Neither one of them had any good news, so there wasn’t much to say, but at the same time they both needed to hear the sound of the other’s voice. Finally Dean broke the silence. “You haven’t talked to Crowley in a while.”

“There hasn’t been much to say lately. We’ve, uh, reached an impasse in our mission.” The angel looked over at his hunter. “You need to feed, Dean. It’s been too long.”

“I don’t want to right now.”

“But you need to. You say you want to help me, but how will you do that if you are starved and unable to concentrate?”

“Jeez, Cas, you almost sound like you want me to succeed…”

“Of course I do,” he said, offended at the notion. “Do you think I’d ever want to oppose you and your brother and Bobby? If there was another way-“

“I need all the Holy Oil you can find.”

“Wait, Dean, that’s not a good idea.”

“Why not? It’s the only way to trap him.”

“But you won’t have time to-“

“Yeah, light it, which is exactly why it’ll be lit before we summon him here.”

“And how do you know where he’ll be summoned exactly?”

“Did you miss the part where I said I’ll need all of it you can find?”

“Dean, what do you have in mind?”

“I… don’t know yet actually. I’m making this up as I go.” He took a moment to think about his options. “If I spread everything we get out across the yard into different sections and we put ourselves in the middle, then he won’t be able to get to us and we have a hire chance of trapping him.”

“You’re suggesting I voluntarily put myself into a ring of Holy Fire?”

“Yeah, to protect you. I mean, I’ll be there with you to get you out. It’s Raphael we’re trying to trap here, not you.”

Cas looked back out over Bobby’s yard and thought about the plan. “It isn’t foolproof. I’m not sure there is enough Holy Oil in existence to cover the yard. And even if we are lucky enough to trap him, how will we kill him?”

“Sword? Molotov cocktail of Holy Oil?”

“The latter will only make him mad. The first would require us being close enough to stab him. His reflexes are too fast for me to throw the sword. He’ll just catch it and throw it back at me.”

“Well, I can cross the fire.”

“Dean, no! I’m not allowing you to do that. He’ll kill you.”

“And if we don’t kill him, he’s going to kill you. And guess what? I’m not letting that happen either.”

Cas looked back over at Dean and locked eyes with him once more. He really didn’t understand where his inability to say no to the hunter came from, but it was what it was. He sighed. “I’ll let you try your plan under one condition.”

“What’s that?”

“You feed first.”

Dean smiled and looked down to the ground. Even in a life or death situation, Cas was more concerned for Dean’s well-being than anything else. This time, though, it was also strategic. Dean had been feeling light headed all day and he could slowly feel hunger bubbling up inside of him. He didn’t say anything as he got up from the step and straddled Castiel’s lap. His intentions were obvious. He ran his hands through his angel’s hair and took a moment just to appreciate his eyes. There was eagerness there and Dean was reminded of the last time he’d fed from him. “Why does it seem like you enjoy this?”

“Am I not supposed to?”

“I’m ripping into your throat, Cas. That’s kind of a painful experience.”

“Dean, I’ve been through worse. I don’t mind the pain…”

“No, that’s not what I mean. I remember when I stabbed you in the chest you didn’t even blink. But this isn’t _’not minding.’_ This is _enjoying_ it.”

“I still don’t understand the problem.”

“Oh don’t get me wrong, there’s no ‘problem.’ I just… I think that makes you a masochist. And, I mean, that’s kind of appropriate considering what I am now, but still…”

“Then I guess I’m a masochist,” Cas said as he tilted his head to the side to give Dean better access. “Now feed before I change my mind.”

Dean kissed the angel on the lips as he ran his fingers through his hair one more time. He yanked his head to the side and sank his teeth into Castiel’s neck. As predicted, Cas moaned and instantly bucked up into him. It was silly of him to deny being a masochist because he was obviously excited over it. Dean laughed and momentarily stopped feeding. “You kinky bastard,” he whispered into the angel’s ear.

Cas put his hand on the back of Dean’s head and pushed him back towards his neck. “Just feed, Dean, we have work to do.”

Dean licked playfully at the wound and wrapped his arms around Castiel to bury his hands in the angel’s feathers. He gripped the wings as closely to the base as he could and enjoyed the surprised gasp that Cas made when he touched the sensitive skin. “Dean… you don’t… you don’t need to…”

Dean pulled back, keeping his hands on Cas’ wings, and shushed the angel through his sharp teeth. “We might die during this little plan, right?”

“Why is it that when faced with death your first thought is always sex?”

“Because I’m me, Cas. Sex is my first thought in a lot of situations actually.”

Cas reached up and touched the hunter’s face lovingly, running a thumb over his blood stained lips as he looked into his eyes. “I think this is why I love you.”

“What, because I can’t stop thinking about sex?”

“No. Well, yes, but not for the reasons you think. It’s just that in the face terrifying situations you have the ability to focus on the positive aspects of humanity. Sex, humor, love, family…”

Dean wasn’t sure what the proper response was to that so he went with the only response that he could think of. “Thank you? I think.”

Cas pulled Dean in for a kiss so fast Dean didn’t have time to pull in his teeth, but Castiel didn’t seem to mind at all. And hey, at least that made a little bit of sense now. But the kiss was brief and when Castiel pulled back Dean could tell things were going to end soon. Cas looked sad and that was never a good sign when things were heating up. “Dean, I don’t mean to…”

Dean put a finger over Cas’ lips to stop him from finishing what he was going to say. “Yeah, more important things, I get it.”

“Dean… if… _when_ we defeat Raphael I want to take you away from here.”

“Wait, what?”

“Not permanently, just, I want us to have time… for each other.”

“What, like a honeymoon?”

“I was thinking more of a vacation, but if you would like to get married first arrangements could be me made.”

At first Dean was thrown by his words, but when Cas let the slightest smirk tug at his lips Dean laughed. “Yeah, well, let’s concentrate on Raphael first. Gank the asshole, then we can start talking the Bahamas or whatever the fuck.”

“It might take me some time to find the amount of Holy Oil you need.”

“Yeah, I figured. Just be careful, alright?”

“I will.”

When Castiel disappeared he found himself kneeling alone on Bobby’s steps. It was only when he was alone that he realized just how scared he was about their plan. It was so incredibly risky, but then again there plan to go up against Lucifer had hardly any chance of working and yet it did. He just hoped nobody would have to sacrifice themselves like Sam had done that day at Stull.


	24. Chapter 24

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dean and Cas try their crazy plan to eliminate Raphael.

After many hours of searching Castiel had only managed to find nine jars of Holy Oil. They were hidden across numerous ancient tombs in Jerusalem, so there was a possibility that there was more out there, but Cas just wasn’t sure where exactly they were. As far as he was concerned this was the last of the substance on Earth and it needed to be used as carefully as possible.

Dean created a small circle in the middle of the yard, which was only big enough to hold the two of them, a table with supplies, and a small fire extinguisher. Then he created a web pattern across Bobby’s yard as far as he could reach. The sections got bigger as the separated from the small center circle and he still didn’t have enough to stretch out all across the yard. He barely had enough to close off the last section, but he managed to connect the two lines with the last few drops.

He joined Castiel in the center circle and took out his lighter. The angel visibly tensed and retracted his wings as close to his back as he could. Dean reached out and took him by the hand. “It’s ok. You aren’t going to be trapped permanently. Just until we get the bastard here, that’s all.”

“I know, but you must understand just how much I hate being in these things.”

“Well, if this is the last Holy Oil on Earth this will be the last one you are ever trapped in, right?”

“You must trust me tremendously to waste your only defense against angels like this.”

“Dude, you must trust _me_ tremendously to let me trap you in Holy Fire _voluntarily_. Especially after we’ve been fighting.” They exchanged awkward smiles. They did trust each other despite the lingering feelings of betrayal that Dean felt. He trusted Cas with his life and none of Castiel’s transgressions would change that. But he was still hurt and there was no hiding it.

Then Dean flicked his lighter and lit the oil. The fire spread across the yard and Castiel stepped closer to Dean to stay clear of the flames. He gave the angel’s hand a squeeze before he quickly rattled off the incantation. His Enochian had improved dramatically in the past few weeks and he was surprised that he didn’t even have to review the phrases first. The strangest part was that he actually understood what he was saying this time. He lit the materials in the bowl in front of him and braced himself for the archangel’s arrival.

“Castiel,” he heard an unfamiliar voice say. They both turned around and found that Raphael had appeared in one of the larger outer sections of the trap. Apparently Raphael was in a woman’s vessel now, thanks to Balthazar’s handy little rock thing destroying his previous vessel, but she was still undoubtedly the archangel. There was no missing the giant wings on his back. Dean sighed with relief, thankful that he’d at least appeared within the fire, but it was one of the larger and more difficult ones to work with.

“Raphael,” Cas growled as he met his brother’s eyes. The hunter grabbed the fire extinguisher and started to put out a path towards the archangel. Castiel followed closely behind him, which eyes glued to his brother’s every move.

The archangel glared at Dean as they made their way through the layers of fire. “Michael’s vessel has been tainted. It’ll no longer suffice.”

“Really, buddy,” Dean scoffed. “You’re still hung up on the apocalypse shit? That was over a year ago, man. They’re stuck in the cage. Get over it.”

“Just as snide as ever,” the archangel said. “Even when you are an abomination that should be destroyed on sight. You should know your place.”

“You will not speak of him in such a way,” Castiel interrupted, a tinge of righteous fury evident in his voice. “I am the one who has the upper hand here. You will watch your tongue in my presence or you will suffer the consequences.”

“What, am I supposed to believe that you will let me go once all is said and done?”

“It is doubtful, but there is still a chance… If you cooperate.”

Dean touched that spot in the back of his mind to connect with his angel. _”Cas, you aren’t really going to let him go, right?”_

_“Of course not.”_

_“Good.”_ Dean figured it was a bluff, but they hadn’t discussed it before and it unnerved him.

When they’d broken through the last layer of fire before reaching Raphael’s section Castiel materialized two angel swords at his side. He handed one to Dean and Raphael laughed at the exchange. “You would give an angel sword to a monster?”

“I said enough! You are the one at my mercy here,” Cas yelled. “Raphael, it’s over for you. Call off your followers.”

“Oh Castiel, you should know by now that I’ll never do that. You destroy me, my followers will destroy you… and your pet… and his brother and that substitute father of theirs. Then the apocalypse will begin again. It’s over for _you_ whether you care to admit it or not.”

Dean slowly made his way around the back side of the fire as Raphael and Castiel talked. Raphael only briefly glanced at him before returning his gaze back to his brother. The archangel had to be aware that he was being surrounded, but he clearly didn’t think very highly of Dean, even though he had killed an angel before. Dean touched that spot in the back of his mind again. _”He’s right in the middle of the ring. How are we going to do this?”_

_“On my count, we throw the swords. DO NOT enter the circle Dean. I will not be able to enter it to save you.”_

_“Cas-“_

_“Just don’t. I won’t lose you, Dean.”_ Castiel held Raphael’s attention as Dean took his position behind the archangel. “You won’t succeed, brother. You know I’m determined-“

“And I’m just as determined to stop you. And I’m more powerful than you. Did you forget the last time I destroyed you? Are you going for a repeat performance?”

“God brought me back, Raphael. It was His will.”

“How are you so certain of that? Why do you assume that our Father cares for you above the rest of us? He has never resurrected an angel before. Why now? Why _you_ of all the angels? The rebel. The inexperienced child. The ignorant fool who’d fall in love with a human turned monster. You’re a disgrace to our kind, Castiel.”

Dean could tell that Cas was beginning to lose his nerve in the face of Raphael’s words. As strong willed as his angel was, it hurt to have his older brother say such harsh things to him. Cas clearly had a lot of reverence for his Father and the possibility that he was disappointing him was damaging him on a profoundly deep level. Dean couldn’t let this continue. _”Cas, enough talk. We have to do this now.”_

Cas didn’t take his eyes off Raphael, but Dean felt him reaching out to him in his mind. Castiel was frustrated and angry, but he was still remarkably determined despite his self-doubt. Dean had to admire that. _“Fine… now!”_

Castiel threw his sword, but, as expected, Raphael caught it immediately. When the archangel pulled his arm back to throw it at Castiel, Dean jumped through the ring of fire and stabbed him in the back. Raphael screamed and immediately dropped his sword. Dean kicked the archangel over onto the ring of fire and yanked the sword from his back. The archangel’s grace illuminated Bobby’s junkyard and a few seconds later there were the dark outline of a pair of wings coming from his back.

The two of them stood in silence for a moment staring at the body on the ground. When they finally looked back at each other they both looked uncertain about what they were supposed to be feeling. They were relieved, sure, but the whole experience was incredibly traumatic to Castiel and Dean couldn’t bring himself to smile. This wasn’t a happy occasion. It was unfortunate, but necessary.

“Dean,” Cas said with a waver in his voice. “You did it.”

“ _We_ did it Cas. It’s over.”

“No,”Cas said suddenly. “It’s not, but… but it will be. Raphael still has followers, but with no archangels in Heaven the playing field is even.”

“But is it really?”

Cas tilted his head. “What do you mean?”

“I mean, souls give you power right?” Dean stepped over Raphael’s body and stood in front of the angel.

“But you said you didn’t want me to go after Purgatory…”

“No, definitely not. But you’ve got at least one already,” Dean said as he tapped his chest.

It took a moment for Dean’s gesture to make sense to Cas. When it did his eyes went wide. “You’d allow me to continue that even though I lied? Even though I betrayed you?”

“Cas,” Dean said as he took the angel’s face in his hands. “You were fucking desperate. Of course I’m mad that you lied, but I’d do anything to keep you alive, ok? And I’d do anything to keep you from doing something that could damage you so much. I… I forgive you.” Cas looked like he wanted to say something, but no words were coming out. He just stared at the hunter slack jawed, so Dean repeated himself. “I forgive you, Cas, ok? It doesn’t mean you were right, but I’d rather save your life than get hung up on stupid shit, ok?”

“Well, thank you. I do appreciate that, but even with a power boost I am vastly outnumbered.”

“Whatever it takes I’m here for you, ok?”

Their moment was interrupted by Dean’s cell phone. He pulled it out and glanced at the screen. “It’s Sam. I have to take this.” Cas nodded and Dean flipped open the phone. “Hey.” His face immediately dropped. “What? How…” Dean listened to Sam some more and Cas placed a comforting hand on his lover’s arm. Whatever was happening, it was affecting Dean deeply. The hunter was incredibly tense and uncomfortable about whatever he was being told. “Yeah, I’ll be right there.” Dean hung up the phone.

“What’s the matter?”

“Rufus is dead. So are the Campbell’s. All of them.”

Cas ran his hand up Dean’s arm and rested it on the handprint mark. Dean immediately relaxed at the touch. “I’m so sorry, Dean. Where do we need to go?”

Dean smiled slightly at the word ‘we’ being used without a second though. Just maybe he and Cas would be ok. “Sandusky. We need to go to Sandusky.”


	25. Chapter 25

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Cas and Dean reunite with Sam and Bobby and the four of them decide to take on Eve together.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> IMPORTANT: This is where my life kind of ran off the rails. I didn't want to leave the readers waiting so I finished it up quicker than I intended. There are 2 chapters left, but I wanted 3-4. I do apologize.

Bobby stood at the grave of his oldest hunting friend trying his best not to break his usual gruff expression. He wasn’t just a fellow hunter. He was Bobby’s best friend and the prospect of facing the rest of his life without him was an incredibly difficult thought. He would have never have been able to cope with his wife’s possession if it hadn’t been for Rufus. He’d shown him the ropes and helped him deal with it all when Bobby had lost all hope. He couldn’t count the number of times they rescued each other from dire circumstances or bailed each other out of a tight spot since then. He wasn’t sure what he would have done without him for all these years.

Sam stood close by. He shut his eyes and said a silent prayer, just like he did for every hunter they were forced to bury along the way. He promised to look after Bobby for him. He knew he had a habit of drowning himself in alcohol and he hoped that Rufus knew that he and Dean would keep an eye out for him. He prayed that Rufus would find the peace he deserved when he reached Heaven. He never was able to verbalize just how much respect he had for the man. If Bobby was the surrogate father, Rufus was the surrogate whacky, yet always reliable uncle. He only wished he could have told him all of that before it was too late.

When he opened his eyes Castiel was standing in front of him. “He heard you, Sam.”

Sam couldn’t help crying then. He’d never been to a funeral with an angel present and he really should have known it’d be different. No matter how much death was present in his life, Sam still had a hard time saying goodbye to people he was close to. Even though his own history with religion was rather turbulent, prayer was still his first reaction in such matters. And here was Castiel with all of the poise and grace that he’d long ago imagined that angels had. Since then he’d learned that most angels were complete dicks, but at that moment Castiel embodied everything Sam thought angels should be. It was incredibly comforting.

Cas walked over to Bobby and placed a gentle hand on his arm. At first Bobby remained stiff, trying his best to maintain his stern expression, but when he looked up into the angel’s eyes his mask fell. Bobby cried. He cried and he hugged Castiel and he just let the stupid emotions spill out. Bobby didn’t usually do this, but there was just something about the angel just then that made him not care about his surly persona anymore. Dammit, his friend was dead and he deserved a good cry.

Dean watched from the shade of the nearby trees. The indirect sunlight still hurt him like a bitch, but it was more tolerable than being out in the open. He didn’t want to miss Rufus’ funeral and this was the closest he could get given the time of day. He really admired how Cas was handling Sam and Bobby. He let his wings hover over them as he comforted them and Dean had to wonder if they even knew just how beautiful the whole situation looked to supernatural eyes.

 _“I love you, Cas,”_ Dean said through their connection. Cas didn’t have to respond. The slight ruffle of his wings was enough of an indicator that he heard him. _”They gonna be alright?”_

_“That isn’t up to me. But if I know them as well as I think I do, I believe they will… Given time.”_

Dean watched as Castiel exchanged a few more words with the hunters. In the blink of an eye Castiel was standing directly in front of Dean. “They’ll be heading back to the motel.”

“Good, we should head there too. Get a jump on this Eve thing.” The world snapped around them and Dean instantly felt relieved that he no longer had to contend with the uncomfortable sunlight any longer. He removed his sunglasses and took a seat on the edge of the bed. “So now what do we do?”

“Find Eve, I assume.”

Dean laughed. He’d have preferred a more detailed plan of action, but there just wasn’t one yet. They didn’t even know how to defeat her. “You know… she wouldn’t have sprung from Purgatory if Crowley wasn’t torturing her little monster babies.”

“I know. I… I truly am sorry-“

“No, Cas, I wasn’t trying to accuse you. You weren’t the one doing the torturing, right?”

“Of course not, Dean.”

“Then Crowley is the problem here, not you. You made a mistake by letting him do it, but again, I forgive you and let’s just move on. And by the way, since your little Purgatory deal is off you aren’t still buddy-buddy with him, are you?”

“We haven’t discussed the end of our agreement, but I guarantee that our partnership is over.”

“Good,” Dean said as Castiel took a seat next to him on the bed. “How’s the whole ‘Raphael’s followers’ thing going?”

“As of now his followers have seemed to have disappeared. They seem… afraid.”

“Of you? That’s kind of badass, Cas.”

Cas smirked, but he was still very uncomfortable with the situation. He’d been on a mission to gain power to defeat his enemies, but now that he was the most powerful creature in the house he wasn’t quite sure what to do with it. “I only wish I didn’t have to strike fear in the hearts of my brothers and sisters to prevent them from killing each other.”

“Yeah, well, a lot of your brothers and sisters are giant assholes, Cas.”

Cas gave a short laugh. Even when things were tough, Dean could always lighten things with his casual phrasing. Cas needed that in his life. “I suppose it _is_ a better alternative to an ongoing civil war.”

Dean lay back on the bed, which inspired Cas to do the same. For a moment they just stared silently at the ceiling, but Dean just had too many questions to let the silence go on for long. “So… they’re really afraid of you?”

“With two archangels dead and two trapped in the cage I’m the most powerful angel in Heaven. And really, that wouldn’t be the case if it weren’t for you… if it weren’t for your soul.” Cas reached out in the dark and took Dean’s hand. He gave it a reassuring squeeze and stroked the back of Dean’s hand with his thumb.

“You obviously aren’t invincible though. I mean, we did just gank an archangel.” When Dean turned his head he found that Cas was already looking at him, obviously unnerved by the prospect of getting ‘ganked.’ Dean hated seeing Cas like that. “If there is anything, and I mean _anything_ I can do to help you don’t even fucking hesitate to ask. I’m here for you every step of the way, ok?”

“I know, Dean. I won’t make the same mistake again.”

A few minutes passed while they just enjoyed the silence together. They needed more time together, but they both had ridiculously time consuming careers and the most they could ever have was a quick moment between disasters. A quick fuck here. A quiet moment there. Interlocked fingers as the world crumbled around them. It just wasn’t enough.

Unfortunately their moment was broken when Bobby and Sam came through the front door. They both sat up and prepared for their strategy meeting. It was obvious where their focus needed to be directed now. It wasn’t just some big bad they had to fight anymore. Now it was personal. There was a reason monsters tended to be hesitant about killing hunters. When one hunter dies, the rest take up the cause with twice the intensity. Demons, of course, didn’t usually give a shit who they killed. In fact, they seemed to enjoy pissing off hunters. It was like a sport to them.

“So Eve,” Sam said as he sat at the table.

Bobby didn’t even bother saying anything. He just collapsed into the sofa chair and stretched out his legs. Bobby had been through enough in his life already. This was just another kick in the gut that he didn’t need.

“Yep,” Dean said as he kicked off his shoes. “Eve.”

“She’s creating new monsters,” Sam continued. “It’s getting insane out there. Hunters are dying left and right. There are more monsters, reports of monsters in unusual places, even new monsters. We need to find her and kill her.”

“As far as I know she can’t be killed,” Bobby said, finally breaking his silence. “Not by anything we can get a hold of anyway.”

“Well we need to find her and, I don’t know, reason with her somehow,” Dean said. When Bobby and Sam glared at him he realized that sounded like a pretty questionable plan to someone who hadn’t already interacted with her. “I just mean she’s here because she’s pissed that her offspring are getting tortured and killed. I had her in my head, remember? She’s protecting her children. And I’m not saying she’s right. I’m still a hunter, but if we can, I don’t know, just talk to her maybe we can get her to back the fuck off. You know, return to the status quo a bit. They kill shit. We kill them. You know, the usual.”

“Are you sure this isn’t just… I mean…”

“What, Sam? Because I’m a vampire? No. I’ve killed a assload of monsters since then. I’m never going to sympathize with them, but we can’t kill her. We just can’t and we have to face that.”

Sam sighed, knowing that Dean was right, but still hating having to reason with something that was responsible for all the monsters they had to fight on a daily basis. “How do we find her? I mean, Cas kicked her out of your head.”

“What we need is a friendly monster with a connection to Mother Dearest.”

“And we don’t really know too many of those, do we?”

“Well we know one.”

“Who?”

“Lenore.”


	26. Chapter 26

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Winchester, Cas, and Bobby use Lenore to find Eve.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> IMPORTANT: This ends abruptly. I'm sorry. At this point I was literally posting it using airport wifi because I was moving. I hope you all still enjoyed it anyway.

Lenore had been huddling alone in a basement when an angel suddenly appeared and whisked her away from her isolated existence. She thought her time had finally come, but instead being smote she ended up in a crummy motel room with the Winchesters and… some old guy. Then she detected that another vampire was in the room, which was a complete surprise. A quick examination of the hunters in the room led to a surprising revelation. “Dean?”

“Yeah, hi Lenore. Let’s get past this whole ‘oh hi you’re a vampire’ thing and-“

“How did it happen? Who turned you?”

“Some jackass a few cases back. Look-“

“And you’re still a hunter?” When Castiel flared his wings Lenore recoiled and took a step backwards. She had welcomed death moments ago, but Dean’s new circumstances had her interested enough to want to stay alive for a few minutes longer.

“Yeah, I’m still a hunter. So are these two fine people. And this here,” Dean said as he gestured towards the angel. “This is Cas.”

“You’re friends with an angel?”

“Yeah, we go way back. Look, we need to talk to you about Eve.”

“Eve? I have nothing to say about Eve.”

“You sure about that? I mean, I know about the head… thing…”

“Then if you know about it, why do you need me?”

“Because Cas blocked her out of my head.”

“He can do that?”

“Yeah, but that’s why we need you. We need to ask you some questions about her.”

“Well, I’m trying to stay away from her, believe me.”

“Where's the rest of your nest, by the way?”

“Gone. They couldn't fight it anymore so they left. They started killing again.”

“But not you.”

“Don't look so impressed. I was hiding in a basement. Not exactly Club Med. You don't know how hard it is - not to give in. Everyone gives in.” Lenore was beginning to welcome death again. She hated herself and her existence more than she could articulate and she was honestly surprised she hadn’t killed herself already.

“Look, I got blocked before I could figure out where she’s camped out. Do you know where she is?”

“You've got to be kidding me. You want me to tell you where she is? You do know she could be listening to us right now. I might as well be a video camera. What are you thinking?”

“So we don't have the element of surprise,” Bobby said. “We’re still going in.”

“You're crazy. I can't help you.”

“Can't or won't,” Sam asked. “Look, it's clear as day. You still give a crap. You don't wanna kill. And don't want this whole planet dead.”

“You actually believe you can stop her?”

“Just tell us where she is,” Sam said. “Please.”

Lenore glanced at Castiel again, then looked back at Dean. “Fine. She’s in Eerie, Pennsylvania on the lakeshore. And now she knows you're coming.”

“Well let's go see,” Bobby said as he started gathering his supplies from around the motel room.

“Hold on.” Lenore stepped forward and locked eyes with Sam. “I didn't tell you this out of the goodness of my heart. I need something.”

“What?”

“Kill me.”

Dean stepped between Lenore and his brother. “No no no no, Lenore, listen to me. You can survive this.”

“But everyone gives in Dean. She’s in my head… she makes me want to feed…”

“But you aren’t like them! _We_ aren’t like them.”

“I'm exactly like them. I fed. I couldn't help it. The girl couldn't have been more than 16, Sam. I'll do it again. I can't stop, not anymore. You have to. Please.”

“Lenore, I killed too, ok?” The room went silent at his admission. Everyone except Lenore had already been told about the unfortunate situation, but they’d been trying to ignore it. Now it was out in the open again and nobody knew how to react. Dean, however, kept his attention focused on Lenore. “I understand, ok? It’s terrible, but you don’t deserve to die. You are obviously… _repentant_.”

He looked over to Cas momentarily, grateful that the angel had been there for him when he was going through the exact same thing. He turned his attention back to the vampire in front of him. “I know what you are going through, ok? We’ll get you somewhere safe until we’ve figured this stuff out. We’ll get you far away from people and when Eve is taken care of…”

“’Taken care of?’ You think you can kill her?” Lenore began to recoil again and back away toward the wall, but Dean reached out to hold her still.

“No, probably not. But we’ll figure something out. Look, I am _not_ going to let her destroy you. I _know_ what you’re going through. I’m not going to let you die over this, ok?” Dean pulled her into his embrace. “You aren’t alone in this, ok?”

When Lenore began to cry Dean tightened his embrace and stroked her hair. He had a sudden sense of protectiveness over her all of a sudden. Weeks ago when he first wound up in the situation his first instinct was to look to her for help. Now, however, it was his turn to help her. He knew that if anyone could understand him now, it as her.

Dean looked at Cas. _”Get her somewhere safe, ok?_ ”

Castiel nodded and when Dean released Lenore Cas was there to take her to safety.  
-

The four of them appeared on the lakeshore that Lenore had indicated was Eve’s current location. Though Eve no longer had a claim on Dean’s mind, the vampire could still detect her presence nearby. He shut his eyes and _felt_ for her. He could smell her and when he opened his eyes he turned around and pointed toward the forest. “She’s over there somewhere.”

A moment Eve emerged from the nearby tree line and locked eyes with Dean. Cas stepped closer to his mate and extended his wings on either side of him while Sam and Bobby froze in place and instinctually reached for their weapons. None of them could fight her, but their reactions were so ingrained in who they were it didn’t matter. Eve didn’t pay attention to anyone other than the vampire, though.

“My child,” she said as she reached a hand out towards Dean. Cas stepped in front of him and intercepted her before she could touch him. She tilted her head and smiled. “Castiel, my darling angel. You’ve been so good to my child.” She stroked the angel’s face and Cas flinched backwards from her touch. He was never one to shy away from a fight, but she was one of only a small handful of creatures that could actually harm him. Worse yet he knew that her unique powers worked through touch and with those two things in mind he really didn’t want to chance physical contact with her. “Oh Castiel, I’d never harm you. You’re practically family,” she said as she looked to Dean. “You’ve taken care of one of my children. I’m grateful…”

“Look,” Dean said, stepping around Castiel’s outstretched wing and approaching Eve. “I get it. You consider me your kid-“

“You are my kid-“

 

“I’m not!”

When Eve reached out to stroke his face this time nobody interrupted. Her touch was surprisingly gentle and loving. It disturbed Dean and relaxed him at the same time and he wasn’t exactly sure what he should do in response to the gesture. He found that he couldn’t take his eyes away from her even though she had absolutely no control over him and he felt disgusted with himself for the first time in weeks. “Dean, you’ve treated your sister well.”

“Lenore?”

“She always was an odd one. I hoped you’d cross paths again. I love all of my children, even the misfits, though I do wish you’d accept your true nature. I’m glad you two are there for each other and I hope you can seek comfort in each other when I return to Purgatory.” When her eyes flittered over to Castiel again it was Dean’s turn to take a protective step towards his lover. “I am aware of your deal with Crowley, Castiel.” The angel’s eyes went wide and he opened his mouth to speak. “But don’t worry. I am also aware of your intentions. You two talked in the room with my children on numerous occasions. Did you not think I was listening?”

“I… I didn’t…”

“Don’t worry. I’m not going to punish you. Remember, I know what your intentions were. Personally I have no interest in the affairs of Heaven or Hell, but my children inhabit Earth. I’d rather avoid the apocalypse if I can. As much as I’d love to welcome them home to Purgatory, I know they’d prefer to be here. Purgatory can be… hot.”

Dean stiffened at the thought and Castiel immediately reached out and took his hand. They looked at each other, recalling their earlier conversation on the matter. Cas would be there for him when the time came. Dean would burn in Purgatory, but Castiel would be there for him. If finding souls for a power boost wasn’t enough motivation, the thought of Dean suffering for one second longer than necessary was all Cas needed to find Purgatory. He’d tear the world apart to find a way to pull him out of the fire.

“You’ll be there when you need to be, Castiel,” Eve said. They both looked back over to her. “If one of my children is leaving the family I’d rather it be in loving hands. However, I’m not too keen on your idea of kidnapping my children for your own power boost.”

“I needed to-“

“Yes, stop Raphael. Save the Earth. But I know what the power of a soul does to you and I know what it’d have done to you. You’d never return my children to me. I can’t allow that to happen. There are other ways to defeat Raphael-“

“He’s dead,” Dean interrupted. “I killed him.”

She smiled at Dean again in a way that made him horribly uncomfortable. “Well, that’s good. As I’ve said, most of my children would rather stay here.”

“So are you going to leave now? I mean, Cas isn’t gunning for Purgatory anymore.”

“But Crowley is.” She looked at Castiel again. “I have a deal for you, angel. I know you haven’t formally ended your deal with Crowley. He talks as though you are still partners. You are going to plan a meeting with him now. However, I will be the one to show up and I will deal with him the same way he dealt with my children.”

“So you want revenge,” Dean asked.

She looked back at her child briefly and nodded. When she glanced back to Castiel she noticed that the angel had relaxed slightly. Clearly he was considering her deal. “When the time comes I will call you to Purgatory and you can pull Dean away. You can take him home. All I want in return is Crowley.”

Castiel gave Dean a quick glance, but he was obviously all in favor of the deal. They didn’t need to exchange thoughts to know they were on the same page. “Yes, we have a deal. Just return to Purgatory immediately after Crowley has been dealt with.”

“Of course. I’m not meant for this world. I prefer my home. It’s where I belong.”

Dean heard Castiel speaking in Gaelic again and he squeezed his hand. For the first time since Eve showed up he spared a glance at Sam and Bobby. The two of them were standing just behind them now and Dean realized just how lucky he was. He had his brother, his surrogate father, his lover… hell, he even had his ‘mother’ though he’d never ever actually call her that. He was surrounded by family who were there to support him. Even Eve seemed to care for him and want the best for him in some strange way.

“He’s in Seattle. You’ll find him on top of the Space Needle.”

Eve smiled and took Dean and Cas’ interlocking hands within her own. “Take care of each other. And please, if you continue killing my children make it quick. If you prolong their pain you will suffer the same fate as Crowley. That’s a promise.” She leaned in and kissed Dean on the cheek. A second later she disappeared.

Dean and Cas turned around to check on Sam and Bobby, but Cas grabbed his head mid-turn and flinched. The three hunters reached out to steady him. “Crowley… he’s… he’s very angry with me.”

“Well, no shit, Cas,” Dean said.

“What’s he saying,” Sam interjected. He could probably surmise the profanity the Demon was spewing, but he felt like he needed to say something. Cas, however, ignored his question and concentrated on whatever was happening with the demon.

After a minute the angel looked up to meet Dean’s eyes. “He’s… he’s silent.”

“What, does that mean he’s dead,” Dean asked.

“That, or he’s in hiding now. But I presume Eve would be capable of killing him, so I don’t think he’s our problem anymore.” He looked at the other two hunters. “Eve has returned to Purgatory and I believe you’ll be able to control the increased monster population.”

“Yeah, we’ll just be a little busier than usual,” Bobby said gruffly. “At least we have the big three out of the way. You think you can control the aftermath of Raphael’s death upstairs?”

Castiel sighed. “I hope so.” He looked to Dean. “I need to go again, but…”

“But you’ll be back when you can.”

“Yes.”

Castiel took the hunters back to Bobby’s house before returning to Heaven. Unlike the last time Castiel left to clean up Heaven, Dean actually felt like he’d be back. He wanted him back soon, but now they were intrinsically connected and he felt confident that they’d be facing the future together.


End file.
